Dear Lord: Help!

[straywolf73]

Hi everyone...this is going to be a long one...but i need to get it off my chest..and possibly some advice.
I'm 21, living with my parents and grandparents.
I was raised christian and the love of God permeated through every part of my life...
When my mum married my stepfather about..almost ten years ago we moved from Florida to Mass..
My Mum has gone from Christian, to agnostic, to atheist, to only God knows what now...
My stepfather..and i mean this in the best way..is well, mostly the problem.
After we moved I was homeschooled from sixth grade on...
My parents verbally and physically abused me for years..until my grandparents moved up and we are now living together
Needless, to say when you are getting you head slammed against a wall and slapped and called worthless...well, lets just say i lost my faith for a while.
I have come back to the Lord after backsliding many times..here's the thing..
My parents are constantly spewing hateful things about christians..and will cause a fight if they see me reading my bible..calling me lost and names..
My grandparents upstairs? Firm Christians
Every time i pray for my parents hearts to be guided to Christ..sure enough the devil throws a speedball and i backslide again..i want my faith to be firm,,but i dont want to be constantly fighting with them either..
It's gotten to the point that i'm not even sure God wants me back..
*sigh*
Maybe you guys can help me pray for them..or pray for me.
protection and peace...
I'm just so..lost and scared.

 

[Themistocles]

It sounds like you're in a bad situation. I sympathize. Over the last 6 months I've been in a work environment with...well, non-Christians and they've repeatedly tried to draw me into their world, teased me, called me "gay" (they're witty guys), etc. Something that's sustained me: 1 Peter 4 3:5.

For the time past of our life may suffice us to have wrought the will of the Gentiles, when we walked in lasciviousness, lusts, excess of wine, revellings, banquetings, and abominable idolatries: Wherein they think it strange that ye run not with them to the same excess of riot, speaking evil of you: Who shall give account to him that is ready to judge the quick and the dead.

Or, if King James isn't your cup,

For you have spent enough time in the past doing what pagans choose to do—living in debauchery, lust, drunkenness, orgies, carousing and detestable idolatry. 4They think it strange that you do not plunge with them into the same flood of dissipation, and they heap abuse on you. 5But they will have to give account to him who is ready to judge the living and the dead.

Anyway, remember that Christians are often persecuted and that the original Christians were fed to lions. I'll pray for you.

 

[Marycita]

I'm sorry you are having a hard time! And I'm sorry it's coming from your family. My family is not really happy with my being a Christian either, though I don't pretend to know exactly what your experience is like.

I think it's wonderful that you pray for your parents. Don't stop. And God DOES want you! Always. He is love and it's unconditional. He is mercy He is just. He is your God.

and ya know what? You don't even have to worry about the devil. Jesus overcame him...you just need to know that you are safe in the power of Jesus. Embrace that! Fend the enemy off with God's Word. Memorize some verses and when you feel like the enemy is trying to get to you, toss them at him...it's what Jesus did and it worked.

Praying for you!

 

[straywolf73]

Thank you both.
I know God truly loves me, and that sustains me through the tough times a lot..
Things are not always bad...The love i have for my mother runs deep..my stepfather? well, it's a one day at a time thing...I am trying to forgive.
As isaid the more i pray the more i am attacked as in i pray one night and the next day i'' get screamed at for nothing. I guess it means im doing something right!
It is hard to read my bible as i live dowstairs with them and opening my door and just walking in is commonplace...so i often run to forums like this..or online bibles..
Thank you for all of your prayers, I am grareful
CQ

 

[Marycita]

Someone once told me that the enemy has a knack for recognizing potential..so maybe he keeps trying to smack you because he knows how much God can use you.

I know about getting yelled at...my family seems to be yelling at me a lot lately too

Can you go to your grandparents at anytime and read there?

I'll keep praying - my pm box is open if you need to talk ever!

 

[straywolf73]

actually, yes. when i am not at work, I spend most of my time upstairs..which makes them jealous..but...I need the peace
and yes, The worse things get i just need to remind myself that probably means im angering the enemy!
It's so hard to love my mother the way i do..and see the way she views God and Christians....I will keep praying.
Thank all of you again. every word is appreciated. truly.
CQ

 

[lindseykale]

When I read your story the other day it made me think of something that I had read out of The Prayer of Jabez by Bruce Wilkinson a few months ago. I've found it and decided to quote it for you.

"I'll never forget overhearing a conversation in seminary between a fellow student and my mentor, Professor Howard Hendricks. The student was excited to tell Dr. Hendricks how well his life was going.
'When I first came here,' he said, ' I was so tempted and tested I could barely keep my head above water. But now--praise God!--my life at seminary has smoothed out. I'm not being tempted hardly at all!'
But Hendricks looked deeply alarmed--not the reaction the student was expecting. 'That's about the worst thing I could have heard,' he told the surprised senior. 'That shows me that you're no longer in the battle! Satan isn't worried about you anymore.'"

It sounds to me like you must be doing something right. God knows what you are going through and will never give you more burden than you can bare. There is a reason that you are in your current situation, just keep doing what you are doing. I pray that your parents will see what they have put you through and how you have prevailed. Trust in him and he will carry you through this. I've been praying for you and will continue to do so. If you ever need anything, you can PM me.

 

[straywolf73]

Thank you truly. I do appreciate every prayer i get.
Holidays like today are especially hard...I diverted about five fights at the dinner table alone. Religious grandparents + my parents = O.O me in a horrible position
It's just so tough having someone, especially someone you care about..be the way they are...
When my mom starts talking about how we are all gods in a way..i literally burst out laughing..or get sick.
It's gotten to the point, that truthfully, I no longer know what she believes..
She says Judaism but according to her..she follows what she chooses to..which isn't much. I find it odd..that i have kept myself from leavened bread this passover..but she has not.
Please continue your prayers..
and thank you
CQ

 

[TheOliveSeed]