Dealing with jealousy

[ascitiesburn]

Well, I'll get straight to the point. I feel as though I'm struggling severely with jealousy issues right now. It's so hard for me, as much as I try to remind myself that "Love does not envy", I can't seem to scratch this feeling off my chest.

You see, my two best friends have amazing boyfriends, of which they love to talk about constantly. And I don't necessarily blame them, because I would most likely do the same. And in part, I couldn't be happier for them, but I've noticed that recently my behavior towards them hasn't been what it should. And I think it has to do with my jealousy of their relationships.

And not just that they have boyfriends, but that they can relate to each other so well in that area, whereas I can't because of lack of companion.

I'm really quite disappointing in myself. Because I know I shouldn't be feeling this way, and yet, I am. I've even made a committment not to date, and to wait for God's timing in all of this, but I still can't shake my jealousy.

And to make it all worse, I'm fond of a boy whom I am quite sure does not share similar feelings towards me. He's really more of a best friend, and I'm somewhat mad at myself for even liking him as more than just a friend.
And I find that I become extremely paranoid or ... jealous ... when I see or hear mention of him even making the slightest bit of contact with any girl.


I suppose more than anything, I'm asking for prayer to get over this. But advice would be tremendously appreciated.

And I apologize that this is all extremely teenage and trivial.

 

[wonderwaleye]

Dear Ascitiesburn


When we impose restrictions upon ourselves that are not GODS and goes against proper human feelings we experience pain.


Self inflicted Pain can cause many problems.

The cause of your self inflicted Pain is:

" I've even made a committment not to date, and to wait for God's timing in all of this "

" And to make it all worse, I'm fond of a boy whom I am quite sure does not share similar feelings towards me. He's really more of a best friend, and I'm somewhat mad at myself for even liking him as more than just a friend.
And I find that I become extremely paranoid or ... jealous ... when I see or hear mention of him even making the slightest bit of contact with any girl. "


Sounds to me that GOD'S TIMING is not being registered in your mind!!!


IT IS TIME, SO JUST REMEMBER:






X Even though you can't see him, GOD is there!!! O
( click on the x and drag to the O ) ( then see who is with you ) steven

 

[Robskiwarrior]

Hi

Hehe this takes me back to my youth... the traumas of Teenage life, like you said they might sound trivial to us, but you are living with it, I still remeber how it feels, and it feels very real!

All I can give you is my advice, feelings can be like a snare and a trap, especially feelings like jealousy. Like I say to most people who ask for advice on something they have noticed in their life, the best part is you HAVE noticed and now you can deal with it.

Personally how I deal with it is to clear some space and time in quiet and spend some time alone with God. I draw close to Him and tell him my problems, then I speak out "I give you..." (whatever your problem is).

That is a personal way I find helps me, obviously you might go a different route to getting close to God, but I think the main thing is making time to be with you Father, he is the healer of our hurts and the keyholder to our shakles!

I hope that helps at all I know its tough being a teenager, and to have made a commitment like you have is amazing, you have my respect indeed!

 

[Robinsegg]

You're not gonna like this, but . . . well, here goes.

What you're doing with your friends is "coveting" their relationships. This breaks the 10th commandment. Its something that only God can help you with.

What you're doing with this guy friend is "coveting" someone else's future husband.
Now with this one, it's likely that you're being tempted to leave your "no dating" committment with awareness of this young man. Ask God to help you focus on Him, instead of this boy.

Find someone you can be accountable to in this area (an older Christian woman would be a good choice), someone you can talk to and who can help you get through this difficult time. Jealousy always comes from coveting (as far as I know), and can be stopped. If you've made a committment to Christ, He will give you the strength you need to get past this, if you ask Him.

Rachel

 

[BoranJarami]

It seams to me as though jealousy is not the only problem you arte faceing (and perhaps not even the biggest). From what you have said it seems to me as if what you feel is a feeling of being left out. Almost as a third wheel. Your friends can now connect togeather in a way that you cannot since you have not experienced dateing.

This is something that you must learn to accept. They now have more in common with each other. But this does not mean that you cannot still have a healthy friendship with them, just remember that you will not be able to participate fully in all of their conversations. Also, look at this as an opertunity to learn. You have never been in a dateing relationship and they have. Enter these conversations as a learner. Learn from their mistakes and their successes (all strained through the siv of God word of course).

Also, I have a feeling that the gliter will eventualy wear off. When their boyfroends are no longer new, they will be less proned to talk about them constantly. Their boyfriends will always have an effect on your relationship, but that effect will likely subside.

It is important to not let a feeling of being left out be the basis for your choices. Take some time to think and pray about your feelings for this boy. If they are a result of your desire ti fit in, then let them be. No relationship should be based on this. But it may Gods timeing, and if it is, go for it.

"Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray. Is anyone cheerful? Let him sing praise. Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer of faith will save the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven. Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working." (Jam 5:13-16)


Pray that God will strengthen your relationship with your friends, still your feelings of jealousy, and guide you in respect to your feelings for this boy. I will be praying for you as well.