Dealing With Co-Workers

[jonbrandon]

There's a person I work with everyday, and it seems that all they wanna do it push me over the edge. There are many times that I have to do everything I can to keep my cool. Most of the time it's caused by this person not doing their share of the work, and me picking up the slack. Today was particularly bad. I did close to 80% of what we needed to do, and towards the end of the day I couldn't hold it back anymore. I told this person when they asked what my deal was how I felt. They of course got mad at me, and said a few things that were pretty cutting. I'm the "job supervisor" as the boss calls it when were are out on a job site, and I have an idea this is the reason the person is constantly pushing my buttons. How do you deal with people like this?

 

[Rhye]

I am the worst person to give you advice on this kind of stuff, but I will explain my situation.

So, what I have been doing and its been working very well. When I am about to have those thoughts, I say a quick prayer, take a deep breath, and move on. It hasn't failed yet. =)




I think I said too much.

 

[Trashionista]

Get used to it. Lots of years until retirement.

 

[mina]

I see it as they know what they are doing. There is a certain reaction they want from you. So don't give it to them. As for them not doing what they are supposed to; do you have a superior to report to? Who evaluates them? I'm sorry you have to deal with this and it's not right. Read proverbs; it has a lot of wisdom and insight in it about how to deal with others who want to push your buttons. It is professional to let them know that their work is lacking if you are their superior, but I would also document it and their reaction to you. It is possible to be to the point and professional but not let anger get the better of you, which is probably what they want (the anger part) so that they feel less guilty or justify their own work ethic/behavior.

 

[jonbrandon]

Yeah I talk to the boss all the time bout it when he asked why we were over on our time. I try not to show anger, but usually what does show is my sarcastic side. This person seems to only do what they want to do, and doesn't listen. When the boss talks to them things will be good for a day or so before they fall back to their ways.

 

[jonbrandon]

So, what I have been doing and its been working very well. When I am about to have those thoughts, I say a quick prayer, take a deep breath, and move on. It hasn't failed yet. =)

I've tried this, and those are the days that seem to go even worse. I guess time will only tell.

 

[smacky ramone]

Get used to it. Lots of years until retirement.

Ha, this ^

I've learned a bunch about difficult co-workers, and the first wrong thing you can do is blow up at someone. Essentially, instead of just your co-worker being a problem, management is going to think you're an issue, too. I think the best thing to do is keep your cool and have a frank, yet polite discussion with your co-worker later. If you're the supervisor, let that person know that you need his cooperation. Let the other person know your grievances, and listen to any problems/concerns he might have. If you do it with tact and friendliness, you can probably spare yourself a lot of grief. Also, be sure to apologize for losing your cool. You're really applying biblical principles to this. And they WORK.

A few words of warning:
1. Don't take it to HR or any higher authority until you feel like talking to this guy one-on-one or to an immediate supervisor basically does nothing. I'd avoid making it an HR issue period — unless there's something really sketchy going on (ie he's making violent threats, etc.). It's just as likely to blow up in your face.

2. Again, try and avoid losing your cool. I KNOW it's tough, but it just makes you look like the bad guy. I think calm, cool communication works best.

Let me know how it turns out and if I can offer any more words of wisdom.

 

[jameseb]

There's a person I work with everyday, and it seems that all they wanna do it push me over the edge. There are many times that I have to do everything I can to keep my cool. Most of the time it's caused by this person not doing their share of the work, and me picking up the slack. Today was particularly bad. I did close to 80% of what we needed to do, and towards the end of the day I couldn't hold it back anymore. I told this person when they asked what my deal was how I felt. They of course got mad at me, and said a few things that were pretty cutting. I'm the "job supervisor" as the boss calls it when were are out on a job site, and I have an idea this is the reason the person is constantly pushing my buttons. How do you deal with people like this?

Ugh.

I empathize with you, mate.

Whether in the "real world" or here on CF, there's some people who seem to have a knack, talent or simply "get off" on pulling another's chains. I'm not sure what your threshold is for this, but mine is very, very short. Unfortunately, this has gotten me into a lot of trouble in the real world. As a person of authority, such as you on the job, indulging in such behavior comes with even greater costs.

The only thing that really has helped me is asking God for the grace and humility to ignore such provocations, to let go of the frustrations and literally ask God aloud (or even in whisper ), "Father.... HELP!" Seriously though, a little prayer and some deep breaths can go a long way.

A punching bag at home won't hurt either.

 

[jonbrandon]

A punching bag at home won't hurt either.

I got an 48 Dodge truck out back that works well too. Instead of beating on a punching bag, a hammer and a dolly are a great way to get rid of the tension and fix some of the dents in the body. This co-worker is helping me get the body in better shape faster than I figured I would. Spose that's the silver lining to the situation.

 

[jameseb]

I got an 48 Dodge truck out back that works well too. Instead of beating on a punching bag, a hammer and a dolly are a great way to get rid of the tension and fix some of the dents in the body. This co-worker is helping me get the body in better shape faster than I figured I would. Spose that's the silver lining to the situation.

Hahaha, she's got a point.