Dealing with a Negative/Grumpy Husband

[IamHisDisciple]

I feel so annoyed with my husband...everyday he's mostly negative and grouchy. No matter what it seems that he always sees the glass half empty. His attitude is getting so bad that it's hindering my walk with Christ a lot of times because I'm so stressed from him that I can't focus on God correctly.

Examples: Goes all day without saying anything positive, but mostly things like "have you done this or that?" "Why do I have to do this or that" "I just wanna relax", "look at this lady (driver), these people can't drive!", and what's really been getting to me is the way he treats my daughter, with no sensitivity and he constantly disregards her feelings when she's sad and says things like, "quit that crying", "stop that mess", "it's not that serious", and gets mad when she cries or when she's hurt. He's constantly criticizing her and rarely says good things about her.

He also has a bad temper and tends to cuss when he's upset, which I always tell him is ungodly and the devils language. I'm always reminding him that he needs to control his anger and be patient because he's the leader of the home and he's supposed to be the godly example for his wife and children, still it doesn't change.

I'm just sick of his attitude, I wish he would enjoy life more and just try to be more cheerful! He's sucking the life out of me and I need the Lord to help because I honestly imagine that my life without him would be quite peaceful. HELP!

 

[znr]

Can I kick him for you?

 

[saved24]

Praying for you. My advice is to continue to pray for him, ask the Lord to bless him. Keep doing kind things for him despite his behaviour. At this time is seems like telling him to do right is not working, so it will take love and prayer for this to change. Feel for you, praying that things will get better. God bless.

 

[tturt]

Seems like you guys have been together for awhile. He must be totally overwhelmed with things in his life right now. Agree with saved24's advice. Plus I wouldn't say anything else about the cussing, he already knows how you feel about it. Ask Yahweh to help him. Also, I would constantly build your daughter up. You know, be specific. You're a good daughter because .... Heck when I ran out of things, I would get on the internet and look up positive attributes to fill her up with positive things - not every effort or every minute but I think you know what I mean.

In relationship to your husband, it seems that there might be some differences over "division of labor." Can you afford to have someone come in to help? The cost would be insufficient if it helps your relationship. Or perhaps the approach could be, let's start over - we've got these things that have to be done, define and prioritize and how can we accomplish them? I would also start giving him positive feedback. Thank him for what he does. I know - you're probably thinking he doesn't thank me or he doesn't do things without me asking him to, etc. Acknowledge what he does do - goes to work everyday, he's with you and your daughter, he protects you, takes out the trash, etc. you'll begin to see a difference.

There is marital advice in Scripture such as "Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:" Eph 4:26 Know a couple that agreed that they both have to apologize when they have any type of ruffle before midnight. Personally, I've found the sooner the better. Sometimes it's necessary to apologize for my behavior or attitude during a disagreement (Pro 15:1). Also, encourage you to read Love and Respect by Emerson - husbands love your wives and wives Respect your husbands (Eph 5:33). How would your husband define giving him respect? Perhaps your church library has a copy to loan. Located this article too - http://www.crosswalk.com/1384728/

One more book recommendation - Five Love Languages by Chapman.

Smile at him and tell him he's still the love of your life.

 

[rockytopva]

Smith Wigglesworths wife said that she could tell when Smith was Sanctified when he quit complaining over his food!

 

[Quasicentennial]

Taming a wild horse is obviously information needed from someone who has learnt new skills and ideas while keeping to the health and safety regulations to protect the horse's life. As with your husband, learning from other Christian friends or family relatives who they themselves are not always invincible, especially where faith in Jesus can become out of focus by our sneaky spiritual deceiver Satan, since God the Father is allowing this 'Jesus versus Satan' phenomenon in our lives so that we can use faith in Jesus as our secret weapon where an ocean-filling Christ's peace and joy can drown out Satan's violence and depression during our Christian life experiences in these difficult economic and terrorist-violent times:.
Joyce Meyer as a television pastor knows the ins and outs, ups and downs of human behavior and her books and CDs contain valuable information where the Word of God is always mentioned so that the bible verses can supernaturally transform the heart, especially where Jesus is spiritually present and he wouldn't be absent to take a long vacation in Hawaii-like heaven:.
Once your husband becomes rational and responsible with his attitude by proper communication whether spoken or written, especially in writing where he can clearly explain his problems and ask you, your daughter and whoever to tackle whatever problem challenges then you will know what maturity communication is like .;'*';.
Rev 21:2

 

[MountainBluebird]

It's hard living with a full-time pessimist, my husband is negative most of the time too. Sorry I don't have any advice other than to pray for him, and try spend time with positive people as much as you can, for both you and your child's sake.

 

[GuusVA]

My dad is actually the same way in a bit a better degree. My advice would be to ignore any negative comments as far as you can. Try to explain your daughter to maybe stay away a bit from him and pray. pray and pray. I sure do know it helped my dad out.
You got my prayers

 

[Goodbook]

Sounds like he's stressed at work. Pray that things change in his working life too. How long is it since he's had a vacation? Suggest one where you can all relax.

 

[aiki]

I feel so annoyed with my husband...everyday he's mostly negative and grouchy. No matter what it seems that he always sees the glass half empty. His attitude is getting so bad that it's hindering my walk with Christ a lot of times because I'm so stressed from him that I can't focus on God correctly.

Examples: Goes all day without saying anything positive, but mostly things like "have you done this or that?" "Why do I have to do this or that" "I just wanna relax", "look at this lady (driver), these people can't drive!", and what's really been getting to me is the way he treats my daughter, with no sensitivity and he constantly disregards her feelings when she's sad and says things like, "quit that crying", "stop that mess", "it's not that serious", and gets mad when she cries or when she's hurt. He's constantly criticizing her and rarely says good things about her.

Has he always been like this? Or is this something that has developed recently?

He also has a bad temper and tends to cuss when he's upset, which I always tell him is ungodly and the devils language. I'm always reminding him that he needs to control his anger and be patient because he's the leader of the home and he's supposed to be the godly example for his wife and children, still it doesn't change.

I'm sorry but this sounds like nagging, which is seriously counter-productive. You need to get this straight: you can't truly change your husband. Oh, you might get him to behave as you want in order to avoid your nagging and irritation, but real heart-change is something only God can manufacture. As others have already said, you need to commit your husband to the loving and awesomely powerful hands of God. He can work in your husband's heart in a way you never could and bring about a transformation in his character and conduct that will blow your doors off. But don't pray for God to make your husband a more godly man and then get in the way of His doing so by being less than godly yourself.

I'm just sick of his attitude, I wish he would enjoy life more and just try to be more cheerful! He's sucking the life out of me and I need the Lord to help because I honestly imagine that my life without him would be quite peaceful. HELP!

Have you ever regarded your husband as a man in need? He is, you know. He needs a deeper walk with God. And God has put you in a unique position to help move your husband toward such a walk. Real love, godly love, requires that you put his needs before your own and in a gentle and holy manner encourage your man toward greater Christlikeness. Throwing his ugliness in his face isn't going to work. It's only going to make him more tempermental than he already is. "A soft answer turns away wrath," the Bible says. Meet your husband's miserable behaviour with the patience and gentleness of Christ. Turn aside his "wrath" with the quiet, gracious spirit of your Lord. And pray. And then pray some more. And then wait on God, in His own perfect way and time, to make your husband a godly, loving, holy man.

Selah.

 

[BFine]

I feel so annoyed with my husband...everyday he's mostly negative and grouchy. No matter what it seems that he always sees the glass half empty. His attitude is getting so bad that it's hindering my walk with Christ a lot of times because I'm so stressed from him that I can't focus on God correctly.

Examples: Goes all day without saying anything positive, but mostly things like "have you done this or that?" "Why do I have to do this or that" "I just wanna relax", "look at this lady (driver), these people can't drive!", and what's really been getting to me is the way he treats my daughter, with no sensitivity and he constantly disregards her feelings when she's sad and says things like, "quit that crying", "stop that mess", "it's not that serious", and gets mad when she cries or when she's hurt. He's constantly criticizing her and rarely says good things about her.

He also has a bad temper and tends to cuss when he's upset, which I always tell him is ungodly and the devils language. I'm always reminding him that he needs to control his anger and be patient because he's the leader of the home and he's supposed to be the godly example for his wife and children, still it doesn't change.

I'm just sick of his attitude, I wish he would enjoy life more and just try to be more cheerful! He's sucking the life out of me and I need the Lord to help because I honestly imagine that my life without him would be quite peaceful. HELP!

*Have you asked your minister to counsel both you and your husband
since there's some unresolved issues in the marriage?

 

[TwinsxTwo]

I have the same problem. When I talk to my husband about it, he says he's not negative. It's like he doesn't even get what he is doing or how he is acting. I have told him that I think he needs to draw closer to God but he says he has been, but he has felt nothing from God and now feels angry at Him. I feel like we try to talk about it and we just go around and around. I feel like it may never change and that is exhausting. We have five little kids and I know they feel it too and it makes me so sad.
Has any of the advice you've received been helpful? I'd love to know how you are doing with it all.
Thanks!

 

[DiscipleHeLovesToo]

...He also has a bad temper and tends to cuss when he's upset, which I always tell him is ungodly and the devils language. I'm always reminding him that he needs to control his anger and be patient because he's the leader of the home and he's supposed to be the godly example for his wife and children, still it doesn't change....

do you talk to him as much about the things he does that are good?

 

[Pal Handy]

I feel so annoyed with my husband...everyday he's mostly negative and grouchy. No matter what it seems that he always sees the glass half empty. His attitude is getting so bad that it's hindering my walk with Christ a lot of times because I'm so stressed from him that I can't focus on God correctly.

Examples: Goes all day without saying anything positive, but mostly things like "have you done this or that?" "Why do I have to do this or that" "I just wanna relax", "look at this lady (driver), these people can't drive!", and what's really been getting to me is the way he treats my daughter, with no sensitivity and he constantly disregards her feelings when she's sad and says things like, "quit that crying", "stop that mess", "it's not that serious", and gets mad when she cries or when she's hurt. He's constantly criticizing her and rarely says good things about her.

He also has a bad temper and tends to cuss when he's upset, which I always tell him is ungodly and the devils language. I'm always reminding him that he needs to control his anger and be patient because he's the leader of the home and he's supposed to be the godly example for his wife and children, still it doesn't change.

I'm just sick of his attitude, I wish he would enjoy life more and just try to be more cheerful! He's sucking the life out of me and I need the Lord to help because I honestly imagine that my life without him would be quite peaceful. HELP!

Print this post of yours and give it to him.....

 

[ob77]

I feel so annoyed with my husband...everyday he's mostly negative and grouchy. No matter what it seems that he always sees the glass half empty. His attitude is getting so bad that it's hindering my walk with Christ a lot of times because I'm so stressed from him that I can't focus on God correctly.

Examples: Goes all day without saying anything positive, but mostly things like "have you done this or that?" "Why do I have to do this or that" "I just wanna relax", "look at this lady (driver), these people can't drive!", and what's really been getting to me is the way he treats my daughter, with no sensitivity and he constantly disregards her feelings when she's sad and says things like, "quit that crying", "stop that mess", "it's not that serious", and gets mad when she cries or when she's hurt. He's constantly criticizing her and rarely says good things about her.

He also has a bad temper and tends to cuss when he's upset, which I always tell him is ungodly and the devils language. I'm always reminding him that he needs to control his anger and be patient because he's the leader of the home and he's supposed to be the godly example for his wife and children, still it doesn't change.

I'm just sick of his attitude, I wish he would enjoy life more and just try to be more cheerful! He's sucking the life out of me and I need the Lord to help because I honestly imagine that my life without him would be quite peaceful. HELP!

I wish I could make everything better for you. He is suffering from daily life, the frustrations and downturns as we all are. If he only knew what his origins were and what he will return to , it would help him immensely. I too, suffered the same type of frustration until I got into the word and discovered that this type of thing affected everyone from Adam on down. I do not have a miracle cure for you and I wish I did. You cannot make anyone into what you want in the snap of a finger. I wish it were otherwise.