Dealbreakers

[MacFall]

Are there some attributes which, when you encounter them in a member of the opposite sex, you find so unattractive that you cannot possibly consider them as a potential mate? I think we all have some. In fact I think we all should have some - I don't think that everybody is right for anybody.

Note that such standards do not indicate a judgment of someone's moral character, necessarily. They can be based on incompatibilities between your and their respective personalities, interests, and preferences as well.

Mine:

- Not a believer
- Mean, vindictive, manipulative
- Unreasonable; will not use her mind
- Judgmental, legalistic
- Does not value individual freedom
- Does not care about her health or hygiene, sedentary
- Evangelically vegan
- Anti-gun, anti-hunting or anti-other outdoor activities
- No sense of humor

 

[broken_one]

-No respect for people around her
-Is not even remotely attractive
-Pregnant or has a child
-No sense of virtue or morality
-Is extremely controlling

That's pretty much it. I'm very tolerable to a lot of personalities, which makes me wonder again why I'm not dating anyone.

 

[Blank123]

- not a believer
- not theologically in the same place as I am, even if he is a Christian.
- old enough to be my father or grandfather
- manipulative
- angry or bitter
- doesn't support me in my educational goals
- doesn't want or isn't open to the idea of having kids/adopting
- Not interested in learning (doesn't have to be going for a degree, but guys who are passionate about learning anything are incredibly attractive!)
- Cannot discuss theology with me
- Has no love of truth
- doesn't back up his words with his actions
- smoker
- racist
- untrustworthy
- holds to politically charged theology/dominionist

 

[r035198x]

- Not a female person

 

[Sketcher]

- Dishonest
- Ballbuster
- Unbeliever
- Not Biblically single
- Has one or more screws loose
- Suffocating
- Strongly liberal
- Can't laugh with me
- Financially irresponsible
- Cheater
- Expects me to be perfect

 

[PinkSweetart]

Well the real serious ones would be;

A non-believer
Someone who believes in God, but it pretty much ends there.
A Drinker (even a social one).
A Smoker.
Someone who curses when thier angry... I know some people stuggle with this, and perhaps if they were really trying to break the habbit, I'd change my mind. But for now, it brings back too many painful memories.
Someone who doesn't respect me or my family.

That's all I can think of for now...

 

[Dzhessika]

someone who :
Smokes
Drinks
Swears
Someone whos old enough to be my dad
Some one who can't be honest
Someone whos a couch potato
Some one who doesnt want kids


Those are just a few I can think of at the moment

 

[Rhye]

Liar. I see right through you!

 

[Riddik7]

-not a believer
-does tobacco products or any kind of drugs....
-drinks way to much...
-Lies Alot

 

[trentlogain2]

- Not a female person

 

[broken_one]

I'm kinda amazing that faith is so important to everyone on here.

Personally for me "good" might mean an agnostic person, and it might not.

 

[jacks]

Someone who can't stand the sight of me.

 

[RayofSun]

I really like this post because I've never thought about it. So off the top of my head these are just a few.

Someone who:
- Doesn't understand the value of the family unit
- non believer
- Untrustworthy/ Liar
- Missing their funny bone
- Over controlling
- Respects me for who I am, not who I could be
- Currently addicted. To alcohol, drugs, porn.
* only exception is chocolate
-Doesn't enjoy children -- more important than wanting to have children of their own.

 

[MehGuy]

Yeah, I've changed a lot since then.

As far as my deal breakers 10 years later..

Feminist/SJW
Someone who doesn't try to watch their weight
Has mental issues they've made no effort into controlling

Probably more but that's off the top of my head.

 

[metherion]

To me:

A) not willing to try new things, to a degree. Examples involve anything from listening to new types of music to new food types to whatever. Obviously, nothing too just way out there.

B)Not willing to let me be touchy feely. Not necessarily in a dirty way, but I am the type of guy who, if given the chance, would ALWAYS be hugging, handholding, sidehugging, massaging, whatever. Doesn't have to be willing to let me be doing it 24/7, but must be accepting and somewhat accommodating.

C) Not willing to acknowledge that sometimes I am not the best communicator, that I occasionally do the "BUT IT SOUNDED LESS (pick one) CREEPY/INSULTING/MEAN/WHATEVER IN MY HEAD AND I TOTALLY DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THAT!" thing, and give me a chance to extricate my foot from my mouth. I do this more often than people would think. If she is not willing to let me have some 'do-overs' when this occurs, then no. Sorry.

D) Belief in God. Doesn't have to belong to the RCC, but she needs to be a Christian.

E) CANNOT try to 'fix' me. If I'm broken, she shouldn't be after me as a mate. Sorry.

F) Has no sense of humor.

G) Has no drive to or willingness to learn new things in addition to trying new things.

H) Cannot be emotionally manipulative. No playing on my emotions to manipulate me, whether it be happiness, sexual desire, feeling loved back, nadda. Sorry, if you're going to use my own feelings as a weapon, you get a boot to the head strong enough to kick you out of my heart. Not LITERALLY of course, I ain't going to assault anyone, but...

I) Is not *name and other identity information blanked because everyone who might need to know who I am currently smitten with/falling for at this moment currently does . And nothing, even her presence/absence on this forum will be confirmed nor denied. Sorry *

Metherion

 

[xuxana]

controlling
alpha male
treats me like i'm a little girl
sex on the brain 24/7
sports fanatic
doesn't own a passport
hideous B.O.
rabid meat eater
bad taste in clothes
atheist/agnostic
inbred
cheap as in perpetually broke
extreme amounts of body hair
small feet and hands

 

[lostaquarium]

This is a funny thread

 

[explodingboy]

small feet and hands

what? why? I mean... like how does that even end up on a deal breaker list.

I mean if were talking 20yr old with the hands of a 5yr old, I'll admit that is abit creepy. but also highly unlikely.

 

[Wren]

-is a rabid conservative. I'm not talking a normal person who is just politically conservative, but someone who takes it to an angry, unhealthy, unreasonable level. This kind of person would not want to be with me anyway because they are not tolerant/respectful of other views.
-illegal drug user. That's drama I don't need in my life.
-treats me badly
-a hateful person....racist, misogynistic, puts down others, etc.
-wants a domestic goddess and a woman to give birth to lots of kids
-wants a very normal person. I'm quirky.
-doesn't like being touched. Physical touch is my primary love language.

 

[Dark_Lite]

Are there some attributes which, when you encounter them in a member of the opposite sex, you find so unattractive that you cannot possibly consider them as a potential mate? I think we all have some. In fact I think we all should have some - I don't think that everybody is right for anybody.

Note that such standards do not indicate a judgment of someone's moral character, necessarily. They can be based on incompatibilities between your and their respective personalities, interests, and preferences as well.

Mine:

- Not a believer
- Mean, vindictive, manipulative
- Unreasonable; will not use her mind
- Judgmental, legalistic
- Does not value individual freedom
- Does not care about her health or hygiene, sedentary
- Evangelically vegan
- Anti-gun, anti-hunting or anti-other outdoor activities
- No sense of humor

I'd have to go with smoking as the only one that sticks out for me. A lot of other things mentioned in this thread would also be deal breakers, but it would be on a case-by-case basis. Smoking though, is the one thing that absolutely turns me off to people.