Dealbreakers

[Edwards1984]

Are there some attributes which, when you encounter them in a member of the opposite sex, you find so unattractive that you cannot possibly consider them as a potential mate? I think we all have some. In fact I think we all should have some - I don't think that everybody is right for anybody.

Note that such standards do not indicate a judgment of someone's moral character, necessarily. They can be based on incompatibilities between your and their respective personalities, interests, and preferences as well.

Some that come to mind:

• Not a follower of Christ (I've had arguments with one of my sisters over this - to some it may sound cold, but with the path I'm headed, it will be necessary)
• Incessant swearing (I don't mind if she accidentally drops a four-letter word at a really aggravating moment, but if her mouth is R-rated, it just turns me off BIG time)
• Heartless (her personality just comes across as cold and distant)
• Uncompromising (not willing to make ANY concessions for me, despite my making concessions for her or trying to make things work)
• Emotionally unstable and borderline attention grabber (that is, they seek sympathy rather than solution)
• Thinks 9/11 was an inside job (OK, that's random, but just thought I'd throw that in there)
• Racist and/or unreasonably prejudiced against an ethnicity, race or general group of people
• Having loose morals (I mean if you're just giving it away...)

 

[Dark_Lite]

Thinks 9/11 was an inside job (OK, that's random, but just thought I'd throw that in there)

Not random at all. Crazy people should also be added to my list, along with racists.

 

[lostaquarium]

I couldn't date someone shorter than me. That's the only thing I could think of.

 

[Inkachu]

Unbeliever

Cursing

Smoking/drinking/drugs (including dependence on RX drugs)

Legally married/unresolved divorce issues/psycho ex's

Men with kids (I love kids, but one is enough for me)

Violent/uncontrolled temper

Any history of abusing children or child porn

Dislike of pets, especially cats

Overly talkative (might not sound like a big deal but I'm very quiet and can't stand to hear someone rambling all the time)

Obsessed with working out or sports

Morbidly obese

Shorter than I am

Pro-choice/pro-euthanasia/doesn't value all life

Extreme liberalism

 

[ANM29]

-Not a Christian ( We have to be on the same spiritual level too, not just a Christian)
-Shorter than Me
-Has a mullet
-Smokes/Drinks/Curses
-Mean/Manipulative/Control Freak/Liar/Cheater/Rude/Religious & Legalistic
-Racist ( Can't have any issues with any other races or cultures period)
-Couch Potato
-Can't cook/Hates to cook ( Must love to cook just like me )
-Does not want at least 2 kids
-Has children already
-Does not like to take showers daily ( some people actually bathe every few days )
-Does not like to wear cologne
-Any physical/mental issues that would not allow him to be able to have sex on a regular basis. ( There are some issues or health issues that can cause this )

I forgot to add:

-Extremely liberal or Extremely Conservative
-Total Sports Junkie
-Porn Addict or history with it..
-No Sexual Abuse/rape charges or history at all...
-Not a felon

 

[Keri]

I'm trying this no-negativity thing. So I will list the positives instead.

He must be:
-Christian: not just say "Oh, I'm a Christian, (Baptist, Lutheran, Catholic, whatever)" but never go to church and has know idea what they believe or why they believe it. We need to agree on the core beliefs of Christianity.

-Kind and Respectful- to kids, elderly, animals, people in general.

-Patient- I need someone who is patient with me. Especially at this time in my life. I commited to two years of no dating (1 year 6 months left) and if I meet someone during this time, he's going to have to be patient enough to wait. And THAT is someone who I know actually cares about me and loves me enough to wait.

-Moderate- in political values. I'm a Centrist and I disagree with extreme Liberals or Conservatives. I do respect others opinions, so I hope he respects mine if he is not as moderate as I am.

-Marriage and family minded- He has to want to get married eventually. I will not tolerate commitment-phobes. No dating for 10 years. And I do want children. Natural children and possibly adopted. Which leads to...

-Non-racist- I want to adopt either a baby from China or Sudan/Kenya.

-Clean- Showers daily, keeps himself looking neat, prides himself on his appearance and cleanliness. No slobs.

-Active- or wants to get active. I love being outdoors. Walking, hiking, camping, swimming in the ocean, traveling.

-Sports- even if he doesn't love sports, at least be able to tolerate them. I love, love going to my brother's basketball and football games. And this fall I am joining a women's semi-pro tackle football team. So supporting me in that is a must.

-Addiction Free: this includes drugs, alcohol, smoking. He also should be free of disturbing fetishes or attractions. I left my ex husband when he told me that he liked little girls. Pedophilia is a MAJOR no-no. DUH.

The list goes on, but that's all I can think of for now.

 

[broken_one]

small feet and hands

That wasn't very veiled there, lol.

 

[Tallerthanatree]

-Crazy
-Unhealthy
-Control freak
-Hates sports, and cant deal with the fact that I work out 3 times a week for about an hour.
-Vegan
-Extremely liberal or extremely conservative
-Someone who hates body/facial hair.
-Someone who would want me to dress metro.

 

[GQ Chris]

alpha male

sex on the brain 24/7

Why do these have to be dealbreakers? they can be positive.

 

[scraparcs]

So far I'm out with most everyone here I see why it's so hard to find a mate!

 

[broken_one]

^I know, right? It's like a lottery seeing if you "fit the list" or not. It's been pretty much a not, though. Sad times (but jk).

 

[Apollo Celestio]

- A furry
- Fat
- Theistic
- Goody goody
- Sexually repressive *Like has a problem with me looking at porn or our future kids looking at porn*

die

 

[Keri]

die

Whoa Ish... whoa.

(I agree though)

 

[ANM29]

So far I'm out with most everyone here I see why it's so hard to find a mate!

lol!

Why? Because we want someone who does not have a mullet and is not shorter than us?

 

[Blank123]

I should add untrustowrthy and racist to my list as well. I don't handle those attributes very well at all

Some that come to mind:

• Not a follower of Christ (I've had arguments with one of my sisters over this - to some it may sound cold, but with the path I'm headed, it will be necessary)

doesn't seem cold to me. seems rather smart actually. Especially since, IIRC, you're going into missions, right? Wouldn't make much sense to get involved with an unbeliever.

 

[Themistocles]

-Atheist (I'm still not sure about thoughtful agnostics)
-Extreme liberal
-Unintelligent

 

[MehGuy]

die

I guess....

 

[Apollo Celestio]

Soon enough...Maria

 

[Allen1901]

I wouldn't be happy with a cessationist or a Republican.

God bless!

 

[mina]

-not a believer
- smoker
- not a productive member of society
- has no imagination
- anger problems
- puts down others in a jerk type way
- a liar (big or little)
- doesn't want children
- slothful