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Dealbreakers
- Thread starter ~Beauty_from_Pain~
- Start date
SHE smokes
Probably a deal breaker. I can't imagine myself kissing a smoker.
SHE drinks often
She has to be mature about drinking - knowing her limits and definitely not drinking over the legal limit before driving. However, I would like someone who drinks and could probably not date an anti-drinker.
SHE is overweight (at least 20 pounds or more)
If she's very overweight I'm unlikely to be attracted to her. I want someone who is striving for a healthy lifestyle.
SHE swears
The occasional swear definitely isn't a dealbreaker. If she uses too many then I probably wouldn't be attracted to her, it just feels like an indicator of the type of person she is and her range of vocabulary.
SHE has kids
It has never come up. I'd probably have to think seriously about it but I can't see it being a dealbreaker.
Probably a deal breaker. I can't imagine myself kissing a smoker.
SHE drinks often
She has to be mature about drinking - knowing her limits and definitely not drinking over the legal limit before driving. However, I would like someone who drinks and could probably not date an anti-drinker.
SHE is overweight (at least 20 pounds or more)
If she's very overweight I'm unlikely to be attracted to her. I want someone who is striving for a healthy lifestyle.
SHE swears
The occasional swear definitely isn't a dealbreaker. If she uses too many then I probably wouldn't be attracted to her, it just feels like an indicator of the type of person she is and her range of vocabulary.
SHE has kids
It has never come up. I'd probably have to think seriously about it but I can't see it being a dealbreaker.
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- Dec 17, 2004
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I'm 18 years old, for me, kids being a deal breaker should be considered usually the smart standard to have... 
let alone it not being "shallow".
let alone it not being "shallow".
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Q
Quoth
Guest
I'm 18 years old, for me, kids being a deal breaker should be considered usually the smart standard to have...
Agreed.
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Gwendolyn
back in black
Guys who are obese would be an issue for me. Guys who have some extra weight are not. I actually tend to be attracted to guys who have some extra weight on them. Go figure.
I wouldn't feel comfortable dating a smoker.
I wouldn't feel comfortable dating someone who liked to get drunk, even if it was only on occasion.
I wouldn't feel comfortable dating someone who swears excessively, but I'm desensitised to swearing. As long as it isn't in every sentence, or every other sentence, it's not a big deal. I swear sometimes even though I try not to (there are so many other words in the English language!) so I do not mind.
I wouldn't feel comfortable dating someone who had children, even though I love children and am generally very good with them.
I'm sorry if anyone takes any offense to this, but it is just how I feel. I don't walk around with a clipboard checklist, writing people off if they don't meet my criteria, but there are things that make me uncomfortable and I don't think it is unreasonable to gravitate toward things that make me feel more comfortable.
I wouldn't feel comfortable dating a smoker.
I wouldn't feel comfortable dating someone who liked to get drunk, even if it was only on occasion.
I wouldn't feel comfortable dating someone who swears excessively, but I'm desensitised to swearing. As long as it isn't in every sentence, or every other sentence, it's not a big deal. I swear sometimes even though I try not to (there are so many other words in the English language!) so I do not mind.
I wouldn't feel comfortable dating someone who had children, even though I love children and am generally very good with them.
I'm sorry if anyone takes any offense to this, but it is just how I feel. I don't walk around with a clipboard checklist, writing people off if they don't meet my criteria, but there are things that make me uncomfortable and I don't think it is unreasonable to gravitate toward things that make me feel more comfortable.
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WileyCoyote
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- Dec 4, 2007
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Apollo Celestio
Deal with it.
- Jul 11, 2007
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That wouldn't be PC. Plus I bet a lot of us come from the "hood." (Myself included.)
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Smoke: Ok, prefer not, but ok
Drink occassionally: ok
Overweight: Depends how much and why. I typically eat alot of healthy food since studying alternative medicine, moreso because I believe diet contributed greatly to the death of my wife. Smoking and drinking are advertised as two of the biggest causes of unneccessary disease. They do contribute, but I do believe what you do or don't put in your mouth 3 or more times a day contributes alot more.
Swearing: The occassional "swear word" is not a problem, I have my moments. Misusing Christ's name, or even misusing the general name of God is not acceptable though.
Kids: I really really don't want to raise someone elses. Have to be a really great woman otherwise for me to consider. Although I've heard success stories...I've also seen how it can get really nasty in discipline areas especially where the children do not treat the man or his possessions with respect and the woman is too soft on them.
Other Major Dealbreakers:
A woman who can't handle money.
A materialist who can't live within her means.
A gossip or slanderer or status seeker
Domineering or argumentative women - ugh
And last but not least: Any woman who has a distaste for my music or for that part of me - since it is a large part of who I am and what I do.
Oh, I forgot, any woman with uncontrollable flatulence.
Drink occassionally: ok
Overweight: Depends how much and why. I typically eat alot of healthy food since studying alternative medicine, moreso because I believe diet contributed greatly to the death of my wife. Smoking and drinking are advertised as two of the biggest causes of unneccessary disease. They do contribute, but I do believe what you do or don't put in your mouth 3 or more times a day contributes alot more.
Swearing: The occassional "swear word" is not a problem, I have my moments. Misusing Christ's name, or even misusing the general name of God is not acceptable though.
Kids: I really really don't want to raise someone elses. Have to be a really great woman otherwise for me to consider. Although I've heard success stories...I've also seen how it can get really nasty in discipline areas especially where the children do not treat the man or his possessions with respect and the woman is too soft on them.
Other Major Dealbreakers:
A woman who can't handle money.
A materialist who can't live within her means.
A gossip or slanderer or status seeker
Domineering or argumentative women - ugh
And last but not least: Any woman who has a distaste for my music or for that part of me - since it is a large part of who I am and what I do.
Oh, I forgot, any woman with uncontrollable flatulence.
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- Dec 30, 2004
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Smoking is a deal breaker. I have asthma, and have a horrible time breathing around even the smoke residue.
Another big one is drinking. Once in a blue moon is one thing, but I don't drink, have no desire too and am adament about not having alcohol in the house. That being said, I'd really prefer to find someone who doesn't drink at all.
Another big one is drinking. Once in a blue moon is one thing, but I don't drink, have no desire too and am adament about not having alcohol in the house. That being said, I'd really prefer to find someone who doesn't drink at all.
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white dove
(she's a) maniac
HE smokes: I haven't really been attracted to men who smoke. Strange, but it's just sort of worked out that way the past decade or so. It's definitely a turn-off for me, that's for sure. If he chews tobacco? Even worse.
HE drinks often: You'd have to define "often." A few times a week? No, not a dealbreaker. I'll have a drink with him. Everyday? Yes, absolutely a dealbreaker. A non-drinker? Hot. Kitchen stove on High-hot.
HE is overweight (at least 20 pounds or more): I would worry very much. I'm typically attracted to slim/slender men. It's a body type that is very attractive to me. However, to recall my past relationships would point me in the direction of "average" weight men. This, to me, means men who weigh somewhere around 180-200 lbs with a height of between 5'10" and 6'3". Again, just a preference. I don't workout everyday, so to be with men who are all about it-'bout it balances me out very well.
HE swears: I can curse like a truck driver/sailor/insert random occupation here, but it's something I've learned to curtail. I don't get offended by people who swear once in awhile; only when they do not know me like that and/or they say it every other word. To me, it's a sign of disrespect and within the first few minutes of meeting me, if you're already swearing, we've already got problems.
HE has kids: Not if he's a good father and as long as he'd never be a deadbeat. Ever.
I don't think these are shallow per se, though they can be based on the rationale behind the reasons, I s'pose. We are attracted to, just as we are disinterested in, certain things in other people. If we view an action that is exemplary of an unhealthy lifestyle, we might be quick to walk away from people who not only embrace but practice those actions.
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Redstiletto
It's just me, always has been, always will be.
Wow, i so got even more sad coming into this thread... there are 10 guys here who would not date a woman because she has a kid. that hurts.
good to know that though I guess. Its kind of depressing though... i am really hurt by this.
I love House! that show rocks my socks.
good to know that though I guess. Its kind of depressing though... i am really hurt by this.
I love House! that show rocks my socks.
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Smoker...definitely not.
Drinks often...well by often, I'm assuming kinda a lot, which I wouldn't like. I'm not against drinking itself...sometimes I do.
Overweight... well at a certain point, of course. Not sure if 20 would bug me though... I also guess it depends on why.
Swears...depends how often. I don't like it when people use swear words in their ordinary talk. Misusing Christ is a definite no.
Has kids... maaaybe. Not sure because I haven't been in the situation. I'd like to say I'd be fine if he were a good dad. But... yea... I don't want to say.
Drinks often...well by often, I'm assuming kinda a lot, which I wouldn't like. I'm not against drinking itself...sometimes I do.
Overweight... well at a certain point, of course. Not sure if 20 would bug me though... I also guess it depends on why.
Swears...depends how often. I don't like it when people use swear words in their ordinary talk. Misusing Christ is a definite no.
Has kids... maaaybe. Not sure because I haven't been in the situation. I'd like to say I'd be fine if he were a good dad. But... yea... I don't want to say.
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IzzyPop
I wear my sunglasses at night...
Let's see...
I have a pack a day habit.
I have 5 different types of beer in my fridge, 2 more on top, and a bottle of rum in my freezer. (However, I rarely have more than 2 drinks in a week.)
I'm about 40 pounds overweight.
I cuss like a sailor that just stubbed his toe.
I have a kid.
I'd have to say that a woman that doesn't smoke, drink, or cuss would be a deal breaker for me...
I have a pack a day habit.
I have 5 different types of beer in my fridge, 2 more on top, and a bottle of rum in my freezer. (However, I rarely have more than 2 drinks in a week.)
I'm about 40 pounds overweight.
I cuss like a sailor that just stubbed his toe.
I have a kid.
I'd have to say that a woman that doesn't smoke, drink, or cuss would be a deal breaker for me...
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I agree with you. If a woman didn't cuss, smoke or drink, she may not enjoy being with me or at least my habits.
I cuss like a sailor a good amount of the time, I haven't been drunk in a long time, but I drink a lot, and smoke, I'm at a pack a day as well. The smoking one may change in the future. I may end up quitting and then I'd be more tolerable to smoking and not smoking but right now, there is no sign of me quitting.
So wherever the drinking, smoking cussing ladies are at, as it has once been said, "Walk this Way!"
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white dove
(she's a) maniac
The 20lbs thing... is that according to BMI? Basically, I have a problem with being with someone who is unhealthy... period. If a man is excessively overweight and it is something that he has control over (ie. no medical issue that would prevent him from being at a "healthy" weight), then that bothers me - big time. If not, as long as he is living as healthy a lifestyle as he can, I'm okay with being with someone who has some meat on his bones.
I don't want to be with someone who doesn't see the importance of excercising and not eating take-out every single day. I struggle with food as it is. I love it and sometimes don't know when to say when in certain situations. If I'm with someone who doesn't know when to say when, either... bad news. I don't need to be with someone who will drag me down and because of their lack of a healthy lifestyle, drag my energy down, too. I need someone who will support me in being healthy; and by him doing so will help me support him.
If I'm with someone and I love him, I want him to be around for a long time. Just as I'd hope that he'd want the same for me.
Smoking... I'm not typically attracted to smokers. In some ways, I miss the smell of smoke, but I certainly don't need to come home to that. Eh, as I've said before, I just - for one reason or another - have never dated a smoker. As a non-smoker, I've been offended when people do not respect non-smokers and continue to smoke around them. Again, it's a health issue, but also an annoyance issue.
Alcohol... as long as he is not an alcoholic, drinks every single day, gets drunk, nor needs alcohol to escape reality, I'm fine with him drinking alcohol. I drink, too. I must say though... I am typically attracted (very attracted) to men who simply do not drink. It's rare. And it's hot.
I don't want to be with someone who doesn't see the importance of excercising and not eating take-out every single day. I struggle with food as it is. I love it and sometimes don't know when to say when in certain situations. If I'm with someone who doesn't know when to say when, either... bad news. I don't need to be with someone who will drag me down and because of their lack of a healthy lifestyle, drag my energy down, too. I need someone who will support me in being healthy; and by him doing so will help me support him.
If I'm with someone and I love him, I want him to be around for a long time. Just as I'd hope that he'd want the same for me.
Smoking... I'm not typically attracted to smokers. In some ways, I miss the smell of smoke, but I certainly don't need to come home to that. Eh, as I've said before, I just - for one reason or another - have never dated a smoker. As a non-smoker, I've been offended when people do not respect non-smokers and continue to smoke around them. Again, it's a health issue, but also an annoyance issue.
Alcohol... as long as he is not an alcoholic, drinks every single day, gets drunk, nor needs alcohol to escape reality, I'm fine with him drinking alcohol. I drink, too. I must say though... I am typically attracted (very attracted) to men who simply do not drink. It's rare. And it's hot.
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On the drinking part, I'm curious about something. Please don't take this as me criticizing your deal breaker or take this in any type of weird way, because I don't mean this in any bad way I'm just curious.
You say not an alcohol and not drinking everyday. So I am just curious, why not drinking everyday if he isn't drunk?
Again I mean no offense, and I mean no criticism to your want and all that stuff. I am just curious as to why you seperate the no alcoholic and no drinking everyday part.
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S
SonicBOOM
Guest
if she smokes: very big deal-breaker. The smell and taste of cigerate smoke literally makes me throw-up. I would rather kiss a diseased bat than kiss a smoker
if she drinks excessively: very big deal-breaker, alcohol is unleashing absolute hell into your life. I've seen it in my family and there is nothing I hate more.
if she is over-weight: not a deal breaker. The only way this would be a deal-breaker is if she was like 400 pounds. I don't mind her being a few pounds over.... women are very attractive beings and it takes a heck of alot of stuff to remove that beauty from her.
if she swears: I swear.... so not a deal breaker
if she has kids: if I truly like her than it's not a deal-breaker at all....
if she drinks excessively: very big deal-breaker, alcohol is unleashing absolute hell into your life. I've seen it in my family and there is nothing I hate more.
if she is over-weight: not a deal breaker. The only way this would be a deal-breaker is if she was like 400 pounds. I don't mind her being a few pounds over.... women are very attractive beings and it takes a heck of alot of stuff to remove that beauty from her.
if she swears: I swear.... so not a deal breaker
if she has kids: if I truly like her than it's not a deal-breaker at all....
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