Deal breakers...

[Luther073082]

If we're not married, the deal-breaker would be:

*"Linda, I cheated on you and I'm sorry."
*"Linda, I had sex with someone, and I'm sorry."
*"Linda, I've been lying to you since we've met, and I'm sorry"
(notice how sorry's wouldn't work)
*disrespecting me in every way
*smoking
*alcoholism
*drugs
etc.

If we ARE married, the only deal-breaker is basically unfaithfulness/adultery. Everything else, I'll have to work my way through and help him out of it. That's my oath and I don't like going back on my word.

Question. . . wouldn't having sex with someone and cheating on you be the same thing?

 

[dluvs2trvl]

Question. . . wouldn't having sex with someone and cheating on you be the same thing?

Maybe she feels that it's also cheating if there is an emotional affair...I don't know for sure that's what she was thinking but I know that I would consider that cheating as well...

I don't know that an emotional affair would be a deal breaker for me though...I'll have to think about that one...

 

[Luther073082]

Maybe she feels that it's also cheating if there is an emotional affair...I don't know for sure that's what she was thinking but I know that I would consider that cheating as well...

I don't know that an emotional affair would be a deal breaker for me though...I'll have to think about that one...

Yeah I think of both emotional and physical affairs as cheating.

 

[iargue2]

I believe for me it boils down to this...

Marriage:
Cheating
If he ever hits me, he better hope he knocked me out and the gun is up.

Most everything else you can get through.

Dating:
See above
Being lied to about intentions in layman's terms leading me on

1. I agree with the whole hitting thing. I don't care if he is tons stronger than me - He better never fall asleep.
2. But also - cheating in any shape or form - I need to know that after God - your heart is mine.
3. When dating people with kids - putting me before your kids - that drives me insane. Kids come first! Let me put them first with you.
4. If he agrees with abortion.

I'll post more later if I think of them...

 

[KarrieTex]

I agree with the whole hitting thing. I don't care if he is tons stronger than me - He better never fall asleep.

one BOY raised his hand to me once....

 

[penNpaper]

Hmmm....do you think though that if they cheated on you, that you would ever be able to trust them again?

There seems to be two ways that people trust...they hold onto their trust until someone earns it and proves that they can be trusted or there are those that trust immediately and take that trust away when someone proves they can't be trusted...

I tend to trust immediately until someone proves to me that they can't be trusted and then once that trust has been broken it's pretty much gone forever...it is very difficult for me to trust anyone again if they have betrayed me...

It will be hard for me to trust the one person that I love so dearly and gotten married too at times.

It might take time and if that person never does it again and so on..

 

[Luther073082]

Umm girls, if you are abused you might just be better off by leaving him rather then killing him.

Just a suggestion. . .

Not unless he comes after you, then you should kill him.

It will be hard for me to trust the one person that I love so dearly and gotten married too at times.

It might take time and if that person never does it again and so on..

My feeling on this is that if you commit adultry in a marriage your spouse is under no obligation to forgive you. Its completly different from other things in so much it would be wrong to file immediate divorce for them. Adultry there is absolutly nothing wrong with you immediatly divorcing.

If you do forgive it is out of your forgiving nature and you have to eventually put it behind you and not hold it over their head.

But people reap what they sow. If you commit adultry and your spouse forgives you there is absolutly nothing wrong from then on for them to be constantly checking up on you or watching you much more carefully then they should be had their been no adultry.

 

[iargue2]

Umm girls, if you are abused you might just be better off by leaving him rather then killing him.

Just a suggestion. . .

Not unless he comes after you, then you should kill him.

I didn't say anything about killing, maybe maiming

If he does it to me, I will be the LAST one he does it too.

 

[KarrieTex]

Umm girls, if you are abused you might just be better off by leaving him rather then killing him.

Just a suggestion. . .

Not unless he comes after you, then you should kill him.

One BOY raised his hand to me and cornered me. I wasn't dating him. I don't date scum like that. But I am going to tell you and I hope women are listening, if a man of any relation to me ever raises his hand to me or is physical with me then he better expect the broken nose and jaw I gave the other one.

 

[BeefSupreme]

one BOY raised his hand to me once....

....Once.


//Shades of Joe Piscapo//

 

[overit]

It's easy to say just leave or sock him back if you haven't been so beaten down you don't have the strength, esteem or strong spirit to do either. I mean it's great advice in theory but it's so much more complex then people believe it to be, and not as simple as the two things mentioned above. It's a horrid trap (shudder)....you can eventually do either and sometimes some can on the first ocassion....I'm just saying unless you lived it or know the dynamics it's not that simple guys.ANyway, other deal breakers........heck I don't have the energy to even think about it today

 

[Luther073082]

I didn't say anything about killing, maybe maiming

If he does it to me, I will be the LAST one he does it too.

Although Karrie tex sounds more like she's defending herself in this it sounds more vindictive. Two wrongs don't make a right and your wrong is likely to put you in jail hon.

You would be better off just to leave and have a second chance on life. No reason to end your life over him.

 

[BeefSupreme]

And you know this because of which personal experience, Luther?

 

[KarrieTex]

Nope, as I said one boy raised his hand at me once and that was the only time.

I don't even consider being involved on any level with any scum that does that and I have yet to be wrong when I call it.


I am not the type of person who will put up with it and I don't.

 

[BeefSupreme]

That's what I'm talking about!

 

[BoazB]

1. I agree with the whole hitting thing. I don't care if he is tons stronger than me - He better never fall asleep.

Sounds like Jael and Sisera. I think he got the point.

 

[intricatic]

I had to look it up.

Postmodernism

A general and wide-ranging term which is applied to literature, art, philosophy, architecture, fiction, and cultural and literary criticism, among others. Postmodernism is largely a reaction to the assumed certainty of scientific, or objective, efforts to explain reality. In essence, it stems from a recognition that reality is not simply mirrored in human understanding of it, but rather, is constructed as the mind tries to understand its own particular and personal reality. For this reason, postmodernism is highly skeptical of explanations which claim to be valid for all groups, cultures, traditions, or races, and instead focuses on the relative truths of each person. In the postmodern understanding, interpretation is everything; reality only comes into being through our interpretations of what the world means to us individually. Postmodernism relies on concrete experience over abstract principles, knowing always that the outcome of one's own experience will necessarily be fallible and relative, rather than certain and universal.

Postmodernism is "post" because it is denies the existence of any ultimate principles, and it lacks the optimism of there being a scientific, philosophical, or religious truth which will explain everything for everybody - a characterisitic of the so-called "modern" mind. The paradox of the postmodern position is that, in placing all principles under the scrutiny of its skepticism, it must realize that even its own principles are not beyond questioning. As the philospher Richard Tarnas states, postmodernism "cannot on its own principles ultimately justify itself any more than can the various metaphysical overviews against which the postmodern mind has defined itself."

Sounds like some people's view of Biblical interpretation.
Interesting descriptive.

Postmodernism is an interesting thing to study. It can be an annoying thing to confront, though.

 

[BoazB]

It's easy to say just leave or sock him back if you haven't been so beaten down you don't have the strength, esteem or strong spirit to do either. I mean it's great advice in theory but it's so much more complex then people believe it to be, and not as simple as the two things mentioned above. It's a horrid trap (shudder)....you can eventually do either and sometimes some can on the first ocassion....I'm just saying unless you lived it or know the dynamics it's not that simple guys.ANyway, other deal breakers........heck I don't have the energy to even think about it today

You could always hire my pals biker gang and his special forces brother. The guy will be well behaved after one easy lesson.

 

[lunalinda]

Question. . . wouldn't having sex with someone and cheating on you be the same thing?

Well to me, most definitely. But unfortunately, there are too many men out there who claim they can have sex without "making love" or making it a big emotional thing. Ever see those countless Maury shows that have those guests that cheat on their lovers multiple times while still claiming to love them? They pour out tears, get on their knees, blah blah blah. So that's why I have to break it down into terms those types of men will grasp. If he has sex without "making love" or whatever nonsense, that's a deal-breaker. If he doesn't have sex but spends his free-time with other women and shamelessly flirts and shares affections with them or deep feelings or even just sharing everything in his heart with her and not me, that's a deal-breaker too.

I hope I made sense there.

 

[Tinkerbell33]

Smoking,
Infidelity,
Abuse,