daughter in law. Need help

[Zanting]

Never feel that you are alone. God is always with you. Listen with your heart. Happy if anything I said helped, but I give all credit to Jesus as he guides my words. * God Bless. Petra

 

[JCFantasy23]

Maybe she will grow up more as she gets older. It does sound like she's not helping and that's a shame. Praying everything ends up okay.

 

[truth speaker]

Sounds more like you need to talk to your son about working so much he has no time for anything else. A big paycheck is nice, but not when you have no time to spend it. That's the real problem. I've had experience with workaholics and he sounds like a classic case. Once his paycheck comes back down to a normal salary, she may move on or she may not, but that will be when the true depth of the relationship will emerge. As for you, you're placing the blame completely on her because it's human nature to not want to think ill of those you love, namely your children. You must, however, look at how your son may be in the wrong. He's the one enabling her behavior isn't he? Maybe he bought that car for her because he wants to drive it too? Maybe he sends her to get manicures because he wants to be able to have a woman with beautiful nails? Stop judging your daughter in law so harshly when he might just be doing this to himself and you don't realize it. Besides, judge not...right?

 

[Mkgeorge3]

Truth speaker, my son has no choice about his hours of work. It's in the oil field!! The other day when she got her new car she looked at my son and said, (You didn't pay the water bill so we are gonna get it cut off) My son said (Ican't do it all)!
I am on this site for help, not judging! I am all about family and I am looking for some peace of mind for me, not them. Mother to mother thing. I am sure it looks like I am judging her only, but I am not. Of course I know my son is not perfect. I am going to love her no mater what.

 

[Zanting]

Do not be disheartened. I believe that God will guide you. I grew up with a narsissitic psychopathic family member who still is to this day. Everything is about him, everything is everyone else's fault,the world owes him everything, he has to have whatever he wants and will lie, steal or manipulate others to get it. He was cruel and mean to me growing up and took anything of value from me. These are his behaviours. It took me a long time to love and forgive him, but I do not allow his behaviour to affect me anymore. And even though I love him, he professes to hate me. Well, to be honest, deep down he knows that I love him and he really doesn't hate me. It is his way of protecting himself. None of my family have been able to make a difference in his life. My mom and I who are christians pray for him everyday, but have left everything in God's hands. We both know that God is the only one who can change him. I do know, however, that he was severly damaged at a very young age and this allowed him to develop the way he has. I have faith that God can help him, where we as merely human have failed. Now, with that said, my story is an extreme case. Please don't feel that your situation is the same. I'm am sharing this because I want you to know that I understand. I will pray for your family. I know God is with you. God Bless.