Dating: the proactive approach vs waiting for God

[dayhiker]

I advise people to actively look .. that's what I have done and its worked for me.

But I assume if they don't want to actively look they really aren't that interested yet.

 

[Marycita]

I guess i was a balance. I made myself avaliable but I wasn't out there dating anything that moved. I didn't hide away and chastise others for dating either. I kept my eyes open and if someone interested me then I tried to get to know them. The times when I really wasn't doing anything were when I really wasn't interested in anyone I knew. I did pray for wisdom and guidance to the right person, but I didn't reject any opportunity to get to know the opposite sex. I think that presents more of a challenge than a help. There were lots of times where i wasn't that interested in people and it felt like i wasn't doing anything or nothing was happening..... I just tried to be the right kind of person and live my life.

Basically this...


If you are out there, living the life God has called you to live, whatever that may mean at any given moment, and part of His plan for you is a love story, then it will happen.

 

[Nom De Guerre]

I do both, but try to do more of the latter than the former; I've always bumped into the right girl for me at the right time and I attribute that to Heaven.

So I'm very thankful to the Father for the beautiful women he's laid before me, they always seem to be almost exactly along the details of what I want at the time too. lol

 

[Marycita]

I do both, but try to do more of the latter than the former; I've always bumped into the right girl for me at the right time and I attribute that to Heaven.

So I'm very thankful to the Father for the beautiful women he's laid before me, they always seem to be almost exactly along the details of what I want at the time too. lol

...okay, so I've seen you get some crap for your preferences...but I just love this!

I think that is such a good testimony to the fact that, no you don't have to go out and pursue whatever! You just have to live..

and more importantly it's a good testimony to the fact that God does care about what we desire in a relationship, and He's faithful to bring that...

all of that to say..I'm glad you posted this. Too many people think they will have to settle or are scared whoever they end up with won't be exactly what they want (not saying you are going to get a perfect person)...but come ON...this is God we are talking about. Let Him match you, He's good at it


okay..I'm hushing now..sorry for the slight tangent there...

 

[Nom De Guerre]

It's funny, because traingosorry was talkin' about how I should find an Indian girl to make me some fine East Indian meals lol, I was like, I really should...

My girlfriend's Mom makes really good East Indian cuisines, though she herself doesn't want to learn how to (she can't really cook actually lol, she got upset at herself for not being able to cook vegetables ); but, lol, I might just steal her Mom's recipes and learn for myself

ETA: actually, my girlfriend was the one who said I should learn... lol

 

[Verve]

It's funny, because traingosorry was talkin' about how I should find an Indian girl to make me some fine East Indian meals lol, I was like, I really should...

You don't have to be Indian to be able to cook foods from that culture... just a foodie

Yes, please learn to cook! I love it when a guy can cook.

 

[Nom De Guerre]

lol yeah, I know. She ... nevermind.

My girlfriend doesn't eat meat, so idk, I'd be makin' the meals for myself most of the time which is fine by me. I love cooking, I did a lot of the cooking with my last relationship as well. I love cooking together though, that makes me go

 

[Verve]

lol yeah, I know. She ... nevermind.

My girlfriend doesn't eat meat, so idk, I'd be makin' the meals for myself most of the time which is fine by me. I love cooking, I did a lot of the cooking with my last relationship as well. I love cooking together though, that makes me go

Cooking together is something that I think it wicked romantic.
It's a great way to bond with someone you're seeing.
Promotes teamwork, brings out elements of their personality that you might not have seen otherwise.

 

[Nom De Guerre]

Yeah, like I said... my girlfriend can't cook. lol And if you've followed anything about my posts about her and I, she can be a little impatient at times too. Ah well, I don't mind whatsoever; she's still as cute as a button and she's actually very sweet when she's not going insane. lol

 

[Sketcher]

I have taken the stance of saying 'God will bring it to me when I'm ready'.

It's a lot easier for women to take that stance. Men in the church are expected to do the leading and initiating, and you can't initiate too well if you're waiting for something that looks like divine approval. We're expected to somehow wait for God and yet still initiate, while being mindful of lessons of people like Abraham getting with Hagar because he and Sarah thought they needed to take a more active role in claiming God's promise for a son and how that turned out. Sometimes I wish I could sit back and wait for the returns on my own good looks like women can.

that question exists only for girls lol. There's no force, be it God or otherwise, that is gonna "bless" a guy just waiting around.

Thank you.

 

[Nom De Guerre]

Sometimes I wish I could sit back and wait for the returns on my own good looks like women can.

Yeah, a lot of them get away with so much for doing so little... it's ridiculous.

 

[shinkou]

Yeah, a lot of them get away with so much for doing so little... it's ridiculous.

I am surprised you say like this. I think there are very very few girls that have success in getting attention from guys by doing few things. I think most girls put a lot of effort into getting some attention.

 

[IreneAdler]

(honestly? I think most of what girls do as far as beauty and such is about other girls and social things and not about guys at all... but that's just my take)

 

[Shadesofgray]

I am surprised you say like this. I think there are very very few girls that have success in getting attention from guys by doing few things. I think most girls put a lot of effort into getting some attention.

Having 8 sisters, I have to agree with this. From what I've seen, girls put a lot of effort into their looks in order to get attention. Even with 3 bathrooms in the house, just try getting some significant time in the morning with 9 females in the house.

 

[Nom De Guerre]

I am surprised you say like this. I think there are very very few girls that have success in getting attention from guys by doing few things. I think most girls put a lot of effort into getting some attention.

I think there was something missed in translation here, but here allow me to elaborate; over here, there's a lot of spoiled girls who get what they want (including my current girlfriend) by being a brat. So, their looks offer them more privileges at times is what I'm getting at.

Like, and I can admit this, I wouldn't put up with this kind of behavior from a girl whom I don't find as attractive.

 

[Nom De Guerre]

ROFL, yeah... 'cause puttin' make-up on and doing your hair should constitute as a contributing factor to whether or not you deserve something...

/eye roll.

 

[Shadesofgray]

Sorry if there was a misunderstanding, but since the original comment quoted was about girls getting something off their good looks and the response was some girls get something from doing almost nothing, I would think it would be clear to see how that might come accross as your meaning. Also... I was not saying they deserve to get what they want based on their appearance and the time spent on it. I was refuting the statement that they do almost nothing. Saying someone is not doing almost nothing is not the same as saying they deserve to get something for what they are doing.

 

[shinkou]

(honestly? I think most of what girls do as far as beauty and such is about other girls and social things and not about guys at all... but that's just my take)

I think it is both things. I know many girls that care about their looking for guys, but those same girls also do care about it for themselves and for other girls too.

 

[Verve]

I'd rather have a man notice me for my personality than my looks.
I'd rather hear "I love your attention to detail." or "You're really are good at _____." than being told "You're so pretty." as an opening line.

I've been told I'm beautiful by would be suitors who live with worldly desires and have not accepted Jesus as their personal Savior that honestly it's grown so thin...

It just feels like a line, it never really seems sincere anymore.

 

[shinkou]

I think there was something missed in translation here, but here allow me to elaborate; over here, there's a lot of spoiled girls who get what they want (including my current girlfriend) by being a brat. So, their looks offer them more privileges at times is what I'm getting at.

Like, and I can admit this, I wouldn't put up with this kind of behavior from a girl whom I don't find as attractive.

I think maybe I can't understand to well the thing people said. It is confusing to me. Maybe I have to study more in English.