Dating someone with a different religion

[Cis.jd]

Hello everyone. I've been in a good relationship with someone and we recently talked about our beliefs. She confessed to me that she was a member of the "Iglesia Ni Cristo" (INC). The INC are I would say the Filipino version of the Jehovah's Witnesses, maybe even stricter. In other words it's a cult. They don't believe in Jesus' divinity or the Trinity and they bash both Catholics and Protestants.

Anyway, I told her that I'm not converting at all, and she said the same. According to her the church has done many good to her life, etc etc.. at the end we both ended that conversation very positively and just enjoyed our time like nothing happened. She said she was relieved that I didn't reject her after knowing about her faith.

Here is the big problem, Iglesia people are NOT allowed to date/marry anyone outside their church or they will face excommunication from their friends and their own family. Another problem is she is making alot of effort in our relationship, and I have to say I really like her, but even though I can not just put Jesus 2nd like that and at the same time it's like accepting a scam knowing it is a scam.

I figure the majority are going to reply how this relationship isn't going to work but i'm just wondering if any of you dated a non-christian who had a strict religion and manage to win. I'm not asking on how to convert her but more of free her from that cult.

 

[Soyeong]

Hello everyone. I've been in a good relationship with someone and we recently talked about our beliefs. She confessed to me that she was a member of the "Iglesia Ni Cristo" (INC). The INC are I would say the Filipino version of the Jehovah's Witnesses, maybe even stricter. In other words it's a cult. They don't believe in Jesus' divinity or the Trinity and they bash both Catholics and Protestants.

Anyway, I told her that I'm not converting at all, and she said the same. According to her the church has done many good to her life, etc etc.. at the end we both ended that conversation very positively and just enjoyed our time like nothing happened. She said she was relieved that I didn't reject her after knowing about her faith.

Here is the big problem, Iglesia people are NOT allowed to date/marry anyone outside their church or they will face excommunication from their friends and their own family. Another problem is she is making alot of effort in our relationship, and I have to say I really like her, but even though I can not just put Jesus 2nd like that and at the same time it's like accepting a scam knowing it is a scam.

I figure the majority are going to reply how this relationship isn't going to work but i'm just wondering if any of you dated a non-christian who had a strict religion and manage to win. I'm not asking on how to convert her but more of free her from that cult.

Hello,

The way that we choose to live is what we believe, so I think that someone can live in a way that expresses a belief in Christ's divinity and the Trinity even if they deny with their mouth that they believe those things. While those are important issues, I don't think that they make a significant impact on your ability to have relationship with her. If someone is regularly chooses to bash people of different groups, then that would be much more of a red flag to me, especially if they have little to no experience with interacting with people from those groups.

Relationships with people from a different group can work, but it makes them much harder. For example, it can add stress regardless of whether you decide whether to both attend your congregation, her congregation, to alternate, or to attend separate congregations. Likewise, it can cause stress if you're not on the same page about what to teach your potential children. Even if two people get married while having a great relationship with each other, and even if she were to convert, having friends and in-laws who are antagonistic to their marriage can still cause it to fall apart. Furthermore, even if she were to convert, you can't know for sure whether she is just going along with it because she wants to be in a relationship with you, which can cause bitterness. It is far better to try find someone to be in a relationship with someone who you like the way that they are before you enter into a relationship with them rather than hoping that they will make major changes, where you also won't face pressure to make major changes. A wife can have a huge influence on her husband's spirituality, so it is important to find one that will encourage you to grow in a direction that you want to go.

 

[Mack77]

Hello,

The way that we choose to live is what we believe, so I think that someone can live in a way that expresses a belief in Christ's divinity and the Trinity even if they deny with their mouth that they believe those things. While those are important issues, I don't think that they make a significant impact on your ability to have relationship with her. If someone is regularly chooses to bash people of different groups, then that would be much more of a red flag to me, especially if they have little to no experience with interacting with people from those groups.

Relationships with people from a different group can work, but it makes them much harder. For example, it can add stress regardless of whether you decide whether to both attend your congregation, her congregation, to alternate, or to attend separate congregations. Likewise, it can cause stress if you're not on the same page about what to teach your potential children. Even if two people get married while having a great relationship with each other, and even if she were to convert, having friends and in-laws who are antagonistic to their marriage can still cause it to fall apart. Furthermore, even if she were to convert, you can't know for sure whether she is just going along with it because she wants to be in a relationship with you, which can cause bitterness. It is far better to try find someone to be in a relationship with someone who you like the way that they are before you enter into a relationship with them rather than hoping that they will make major changes, where you also won't face pressure to make major changes. A wife can have a huge influence on her husband's spirituality, so it is important to find one that will encourage you to grow in a direction that you want to go.

That was very well written.

I think about tensions that can exist even between families that share the same faith but practice it differently.

I can only imagine what it would be like if the opposition came from the faiths themselves.

I think about how king Solomon’s wives led him away from God to many pagan gods. That seems to suggest a lot of risk.

I also think about 2nd Corinthians 6