I'm curious especially since you are close to my age.
I believe many Christian are practicing a form of courting in dating without even realizing it, tbh. I personally know a now married couple about our age, good friends of mine, who "dated" with the view of marriage, but they made minimal physical contact (like waiting until marriage before kissing, holding, etc). They could still hang out by themselves, but never alone alone. They've known each other since they were children, but they figured that they can watch a movie one night together at his and his roommates house by themselves. It ended up they found themselves on top of each other almost ready to kiss each other on the couch (don't tell me how it led to that point). By God's mysterious grace they quickly withdrew and made it their immediate decision to never be personally
that alone. They could hang out in public, but never that alone. It appears that throughout that whole period they really controlled themselves in such a way, I couldn't call it dating as our generation likes to describe it.
The term "dating" from what is typically gathered in today's society advertises this belief that you can
legitimately have personal access and intimacy with your unmarried partner, minus a real commitment. A lot of people view it as something recreational, without a real purpose but to have fun. Again, that is pretty much
marriage without the commitment. My question to many of these people who do this, which are typically unbelievers, is this: what do you gain in marriage that you didn't have when you dated her? What would you enjoy in a marriage that you wouldn't enjoy in that relationship you have with her? What is the difference between the two? I'll tell you, the
commitment. There are other things, but this is a major one. They don't want to be truly "tied down," but they want to enjoy the full package without doing it in order. This leaves broken relationships very painful and devastating. People give way too much of themselves for such a relationship, when it should wait until marriage.
Many men and women who get married after having been through other serious relationships in the past will not always find the special joy and uniqueness after marriage, they have already done it many times before, and they are just doing the same old same old but
legally. In every relationship you give a part of yourself, and the more you do this what left will you give that is different to your future spouse? It is a tragedy, if not an epidemic in our day.
