Dating Online

[ElElena]

just more food for thought there -- tired and should go offline soon -- bye

 

[CoolMom6]

Aww..... Eph, I am sorry to hear that....
It sounds awfully like my last seven month relationship gone bad, where we spent 3 or 4 days a week together with the kids and without for 4 months and then all of a sudden we did not see ea. other but once or twice a month, and then he says he can't commit.

I talked to him last night to tell him to quit waiting for me to come back, especially since he never reaches out and I have casually dated others since May. It was officially over long ago. Blah.

I am sorry, sweet sister. It hurts, I know it. Still hurts.

Guess who this was, you all? My husband, whom I love with all my heart and he loves me the same. He returned to me on here, and look where we are now; so don't give up on God.

I did it again, but it worked well this time; no doors spiritually slammed, but I will say, I would not have it any other way. When I started giving God the green light to slam the inappropriate doors in my silly face, it was more apparent which ones if any, were still open.

And I found my guy for real.
He is what I was looking for in every way. I had not wanted to share here just yet until we met in person, but now it is a lifetime commitment between us and soon to be before God and the rest of the world.

OK, so this was G. He and I dated for four months. I really was going to marry him, if he would do it. He had asked repeatedly. I wanted to. The reason I had to walk thru this relationship I guess, God wanted to wake up the man who really loved me, and who He had for me.
And it did!!

Something I want to say that I don't know if it has been addressed or not...
When I first tried dating online per se; it was not a dating site where I met the person, it was another Christian forums/board. And we wrote/messaged and finally talked on the phone all within 2 years!!! Still friends with him, but still never met. He is only a few states away, not really far if it was meant to be.

Then I did cyberdate a gentleman whom I met on here (CF), and most of my good friends know who he is. We talked on the phone for hours and hours ea. day before he made the bold act of flying all the way over the ocean to meet my family and me. I am still friends with him and care for him dearly, but no marriage.

So....after those experiences, I really just decided that in person would be the way to go. And without opportunities or practical ways to meet people whom I would even want to spend time with; ie Christian men...
I decided to do the eHarmony but specified only within so many miles of this city. It is a great, big city, after all.
Had to be one lonely good man out there....


The gentleman I met and I decided since we are so close to each other (10 mins.), why go on and on doing email if we seemed to be compatible and comfortable?
The first phone conversation was for 3 hours; lol!!!
So far, so good.

OK, this was a weird thing; lasted 3 weeks; but that's okay, I made peace with someone in my past thru this. Also, I got new insight on what it means to be a Christ-follower. God had His reasons.

I think that the "getting to know someone" thing is iffy too; it all depends on the willingness of that person to be known by the other. I knew my sons' dad for a few years before we married and all things changed during the marriage.
The year I knew my baby's dad before marriage I did not see how much of a facade his walk with Christ was and how he did not have the love of the Lord in his heart.

So, for me, I want to see a person's whole heart. It does not always take a very long time if that person is willing to show it truthfully.

This is all true~ I finally saw the heart of the man I love.

I'm kind of scratching my head, online didn't work for me (the long distance), we didn't meet on a dating site but another CHristian site like this.

I am baffled though, one poster (maybe coolmom?) mentioned she had broken up w/someone not long ago, met someone online and now about a month later is getting married and staying long distance and then eventually moving out of state? Doesn't that scare you that you are uprooting kids and moving and getting married to someone you met online about 1-2 months ago? I'm not asking to be mean but I just can't wrap my logical thinking around it and that is something I would/could never ever do.
How is it possible?

I was not going to uproot my kids for about 4-5 more years from now.
But honestly, I could not handle a LDR for that long, either. I really thought I could. He had the money to send me and them back and forth, or to come here 2-3 times a month, and he did. But as much as I trusted him, and cared for him, we were not meant to be.
So, overit, I understand your concern, but God took care of it, because even in the midst of all of this, I still kept my heart, mind, and ears open to Him, and He spoke, rather clearly, I might add.

Things can also be hidden in person, only time talking with the person helps. I find it easier to talk on line than in person.

Hey Babe!!!
Hahaha...this is my hubby, ya'll. I did not even see or know he had posted on this thread, until AFTER we had married; see, things you eventually find out.
He is the most wonderful, loving man I have ever known.
And treats me and my kids with loving care and understanding.

I know of people that have married after dating online and have a family member that married someone he met online.

I wrote about this before but it's nice to simply say that it is just another avenue for meeting people. Anytime you meet someone and there's an interest it doesn't matter where you met them or how you met them -- for a Christian the thing that matters most of all is if the other person is a Christian and then comes the set of compatibility questions.

Yep, and then the readiness. For my guy, it was an issue of being ready; he had more healing to do, and then he had to convince me he was ready and did I still love him, because I had literally let him go and gave him to God.

I believe only then could God really do the work He needed to do in his heart, but also because Joe was willing to be molded, to be healed and changed. I see a big difference in him from the first year we dated and now. Now he is very open, honest, communicative, and real about everything. We also spend way more time in the Word, and reading devotionals, and praying.

Thank You, Lord!!!!

 

[RebeccatheGreat]

I'm glad you're are happy and have been blessed so greatly!!!

 

[CoolMom6]

I'm glad you're are happy and have been blessed so greatly!!!

Thank you my friend
God is so good to us, all of us. Even in the midst of all the trials and mistakes, I continued to praise Him. He deserves it all the time, even when we do see Him at work in our lives.

 

[eatenbylocusts]

I hope I'll have a success story to put in this thread some day. The "dating online" doesn't really apply well, since there was only a week of emails before we met in person and then started seeing each other about 5-6 times a week. But, without the dating site, we might never have met even though we only live a few miles apart and used to go to the same church.

 

[CoolMom6]

I hope I'll have a success story to put in this thread some day. The "dating online" doesn't really apply well, since there was only a week of emails before we met in person and then started seeing each other about 5-6 times a week. But, without the dating site, we might never have met even though we only live a few miles apart and used to go to the same church.

Exactly. Same with us.
Isn't it neat how God uses things like the dating site, and the internet??

 

[FlatpickingJD]

The career services office at my last school has a list of internet sources for job searches. The list is really good, and I've seen many jobs on the websites that I've applied for. The office has a warning, though about using them: it shouldn't be the sole source of the job hunt, that you have to get out there and network, join professional organizations, go to those meetings, talk to others in the field - - that's the way most people find jobs.

I think that's analogous to the internet dating sites. Don't rely on them as your sole source for meeting someone, get out there and interact in the real world. Do things you enjoy (go to church, join a bowling league, a book club, whatever) and meet people that way too. You might not meet someone of the opposite sex in those places, but you'll meet people who know other people who are single.

 

[RebeccatheGreat]

The career services office at my last school has a list of internet sources for job searches. The list is really good, and I've seen many jobs on the websites that I've applied for. The office has a warning, though about using them: it shouldn't be the sole source of the job hunt, that you have to get out there and network, join professional organizations, go to those meetings, talk to others in the field - - that's the way most people find jobs.

I think that's analogous to the internet dating sites. Don't rely on them as your sole source for meeting someone, get out there and interact in the real world. Do things you enjoy (go to church, join a bowling league, a book club, whatever) and meet people that way too. You might not meet someone of the opposite sex in those places, but you'll meet people who know other people who are single.

that's true,and I'm trying to force myself to do just that

 

[Bridgit]

I think that's analogous to the internet dating sites. Don't rely on them as your sole source for meeting someone, get out there and interact in the real world. Do things you enjoy (go to church, join a bowling league, a book club, whatever) and meet people that way too. You might not meet someone of the opposite sex in those places, but you'll meet people who know other people who are single.

That's right. Sometimes I don't feel to go out or accept invitations, go to church picnics, potlucks, etc..., but then I say to myself that it might be the way I will get to meet my future husband and I go.

 

[catofhope]

I guess with Thanksgiving here I'll give a shout out to God for bringing Randy and I together.
We are both pretty shy so not sure either of us would find someone other than online.

We met here on the boards two years ago.
Neither of us was here searching for a mate.
We both were pretty satisfied being single.

But thankfully God had other plans.