Dating- age differences etc.....

[proverbs 3:5-6]

I have searched the forums and have found several topics of non-christian dating (which i believe is a big NO), but have not found anything on age differneces. In my opinion, i think it is very important that both the guy and girl are roughly the same strength spiritually (if that makes sense at all ) and maturity wise but i just wanted some opinions about age differneces because i really like this girl but she is almost 15 and i am about 16 1/2, so..... any opinions and input would be great, thanks.

 

[MidnightBlue]

I have searched the forums and have found several topics of non-christian dating (which i believe is a big NO), but have not found anything on age differneces. In my opinion, i think it is very important that both the guy and girl are roughly the same strength spiritually (if that makes sense at all ) and maturity wise but i just wanted some opinions about age differneces because i really like this girl but she is almost 15 and i am about 16 1/2, so..... any opinions and input would be great, thanks.

I'm 45, and from this distance I don't see any significant difference between almost 15 and 16½.

 

[Electric Sceptic]

I wonder why a christian boy is even thinking about dating.

 

[butterfoot]

I have searched the forums and have found several topics of non-christian dating (which i believe is a big NO), but have not found anything on age differneces. In my opinion, i think it is very important that both the guy and girl are roughly the same strength spiritually (if that makes sense at all ) and maturity wise but i just wanted some opinions about age differneces because i really like this girl but she is almost 15 and i am about 16 1/2, so..... any opinions and input would be great, thanks.

Ask her out. The difference between 15 and 16 is little. Just be the christain that you are and be good to any girl you ask out. Once you do ask her out get to know her parents and let them get to know you. This will help you tremendously.

I wonder why a christian boy is even thinking about dating.

Just because he is a christian doesn't mean he can't date. That doesn't mean his intentions are dishonarable.

-cw

 

[jayem]

A bit off topic, but in terms of marriage, it actually makes some sense for the wife to be older than the husband. Since women live a few years longer than men, the couples' life spans together might thus be equalized.

As I think about it, I usually did date girls who were older than me, including my wife. (I skipped a year in school, so most people I was around were older.) Older women are more interesting and experienced.

 

[Lifesaver]

16 1/2 and 15 are the same age.

5 years of more of difference may bring problems, especially when they are teenagers. If both are adults, this difference is also almost irrelevant.
And even in the case of younger people, if both get along well, there doesn't seem to be any problem with different ages, as long as they are past puberty. What matters are the intention (future marriage) and that they don't sin.

 

[Code-Monkey]

I have searched the forums and have found several topics of non-christian dating (which i believe is a big NO), but have not found anything on age differneces. In my opinion, i think it is very important that both the guy and girl are roughly the same strength spiritually (if that makes sense at all ) and maturity wise but i just wanted some opinions about age differneces because i really like this girl but she is almost 15 and i am about 16 1/2, so..... any opinions and input would be great, thanks.

Many parents don't want their kids dating until they're 16. If you're interested in a girl, it works out much better if you make sure her parents are fine with you asking her out.

But to your question, I've seen some speculations that Mary was ~16 when she had Jesus and Joseph was ~30. I don't think there are any hard and fast rules. There's a GREAT series on Song of Solomon that discusses dating by Tommy Nelson: http://www.thesongofsolomon.com/Home_SOS.asp

I highly recommend that series for any college age (possibly even high school) group. It's even great for young adult, single, married, divorced, etc...

 

[Snifter]

Well, I'm not really able to give you any spiritual advice, but I can say that I don't think a 1.5 year age difference is a very big deal. I'm in college now, but I can definitely say that during high school this wasn't a big deal. You're what, one or two grades apart? Just ask her on a date, treat her well and be the nice guy you are. Things should work out.

Good luck!

Snifter

 

[Jetgirl]

I don't have any spiritual guidence for you, but age differences are MUCH wider at younger ages.

My fiancee is 4 years older than I. If he was 16 and I was 12 that would have been an unbridgable gap. Now I'm 24 and he's 28 and there's almost no gap whatsoever (expect that he's got more useful experience running a household than I do, yay!) When I'm 83 and he's 87 it will be no difference whatsoever.

So half a year boils down to about 20 minutes in the grand scheme of things. Do check with her folks though, they may not want her dating at all yet.

 

[silkamilkamonico]

A bit off topic, but in terms of marriage, it actually makes some sense for the wife to be older than the husband. Since women live a few years longer than men, the couples' life spans together might thus be equalized.

As I think about it, I usually did date girls who were older than me, including my wife. (I skipped a year in school, so most people I was around were older.) Older women are more interesting and experienced.

I wished I felt the same.

I don't know about the interesting part, but the experienced part is pretty much moot for me, considering I don't want to have sex again until I'm married.

I'm 30, and I cannot find a women around my age that I would consider dating. All the good one's are either taken, or there's a reason why they alone.

Think of it like this people's, the older a women get's, the less appealing on an attractive level they become.

Unfortunately.

 

[MidnightBlue]

I'm 30, and I cannot find a women around my age that I would consider dating. All the good one's are either taken, or there's a reason why they alone.

Think of it like this people's, the older a women get's, the less appealing on an attractive level they become.

Unfortunately.

I don't agree. But I think I've discovered why you're having trouble finding somebody.

As Trollope said, "When people get to be old, there's a difficulty. They want to flirt with the young people and the young people don't want them. If the old people would be content to flirt together, I don't see why they should ever give it up--till they're obliged to give up everything, and go away."

 

[silkamilkamonico]

I don't agree. But I think I've discovered why you're having trouble finding somebody.

As Trollope said, "When people get to be old, there's a difficulty. They want to flirt with the young people and the young people don't want them. If the old people would be content to flirt together, I don't see why they should ever give it up--till they're obliged to give up everything, and go away."

Believe me, If I could find an older women to flirt with, I would. They are so incredibly few and far between.

 

[proverbs 3:5-6]

Thanks alot for the replys, she is really cool christian girl and i actually know her threw (sp?) her mother. Her mom is one of the coolest moms i know. Actually, she was one of my teachers last year, had a great time. Anyways... thanks again and i will probably just confront her mother and just ask her what she thinks.

 

[arizona_sunshine]

A bit off topic, but in terms of marriage, it actually makes some sense for the wife to be older than the husband. Since women live a few years longer than men, the couples' life spans together might thus be equalized.

As I think about it, I usually did date girls who were older than me, including my wife. (I skipped a year in school, so most people I was around were older.) Older women are more interesting and experienced.

Interesting. To me, older men have been far more interesting and experienced.

 

[Jetgirl]

Thanks alot for the replys, she is really cool christian girl and i actually know her threw (sp?) her mother. Her mom is one of the coolest moms i know. Actually, she was one of my teachers last year, had a great time. Anyways... thanks again and i will probably just confront her mother and just ask her what she thinks.

All I have to say is that I'd be duly impressed if a 16 y/o had the guts to politely ask my permission to date my daughter.

It's a very Clark Kent kind of move.

 

[proverbs 3:5-6]

Is a "Clark Kent" kind of move good or bad? lol.

 

[Jetgirl]

Is a "Clark Kent" kind of move good or bad? lol.

It's good.

 

[christalee4]

Major age differences could pose challenges - like say a 20 year difference. Someone I know is in his 60's and he married a 30 year old. Their marriage is not stable - he is insecure with reasons. But they appear to love each other. I think he tries too hard to keep up with her younger, more modern interests. However, a 1, 2, 3, or 5 year difference is no big deal. My first boyfriend in high school was a whole year and a half younger than me! I got flak for not dating someone closer to my age, but he was very mature and intelligent.

 

[Smilin]

Interesting. To me, older men have been far more interesting and experienced.

HEYYYYY...WHAssup? AS, long time no see!


~Smilin

 

[Lokisdottir]

My boyfriend is 2 1/2 years older than me. We met when I was 14 and he was 17. The age difference has never been an issue for us. The fact that he graduated two years before me was slightly annoying, since he was off working and leading an adult life while I was still stuck in high school. That's the only snag we've run into.