Dating Advice for Guys

[Sam the Record Man]

Hey, I just thought it'd be kinda cool to start a thread with dating advice for guys both from guys' experiences and from girls. Bring on the advice, make us all better boyfriends, lol

 

[jay_swift]

All the girls are gonna say "be yourself", just watch.

 

[Ginsu]

Hahaha!

My advice... make sure that you don't make your date pick up the tab for the meal..

 

[mina]

don't play with a girl's heart. Don't get involved romantically with a girl unless you are really willing at the possibility of making a commitment to her. That doesn't mean you have to marry a girl if you date her, but don't lead her on and get in a serious relationship with her then drop her because you don't want to fall in love with her because you aren't ready to make a commitment. If you aren't ready to commit if everything really works out, then don't date.

 

[Andry]

All the girls are gonna say "be yourself", just watch.

LOL, although it may be funny, there's a lot of wisdom in that.

When I met my wife, I was a poor starving student. There was no flashy car, no expensive dates, no extravagant gifts, no expensive clothes. Yet she still fell in love with me. Amazing.

If I were you guys, my $0.02? Tell her like it is up front. Don't pretend. If she still likes you and still goes out with you...... don't let her get away - she's a keeper.

 

[Katty]

All the girls are gonna say "be yourself", just watch.

Ok just for that, DON'T be yourself... it'll never work

teehee, anyway, I think its most important to not set expectations of that other person. No matter how you look at things, the title "boyfriend" or "girlfriend" comes with certain expectations and duties or characteristics. When you steer away from that, it makes things a lot smoother and many times, less stressful and frustrating. In finding an incredible person in all forms... make sure you're up there on the scale too

~Katty

 

[Living4Him03]

I think guys need to know going into a relationship that it is going to take work. It's not just you go out and that's that. Take her on dates that are fun and try to do things where you will get the chance to sit and talk and really get to know one another. Fun doesn't mean expensive. But, many guys fall into the rut of a date being watching a movie at home and sharing a pizza...which is fine, but not for EVERY date. Dating means actually going on dates

Don't make promises you can't keep or may not keep. If you say you will take her to an amusement park or something more serious, then do it. Otherwise, keep your mouth shut

Find ways to let her know she is special to you. Remember her birthday and special holidays, like Valentines and Christmas. You don't have to get caught up in all the hoopla of commercialization of holidays but you can still celebrate and can still do something special.

Find out what makes her feel special. The girl you are dating now is probably different from others you've dated as far as what makes her feel special. For some of us we need verbal affirmations, hugs, small gifts...for others it's all about quality time. Learn about the love languages.

Last, before you EVER begin to date or date again, get to know yourself and begin preparing yourself for meeting that special someone. Find out about your personality, why you do the things you do, take time to heal from hurt during your childhood and teen years, get closer to God each day, learn about people and how to interact with them. Find out what God wants you to do with your life (at least for right now), find out what you think about politics, find out what it is that you will not compromise on.

Knowing who you are is important before trying to get to know someone else. You want substance to give them, not just "i'm not really sure about that".

 

[Sad&Confused]

Hello all i am new to this forums and this will be my first post...first off i was raised a catholic but now im non-practicing so if i dont give little hints of god or the bible plz forgive my inconsideration...ive read many a posts here and have found the info very appealing...n e ways...tips for guys...being a male myself i would have to say that i aggree with what has been said so far...you better and i mean better get to know yourself better b4 you go and make somebody else a part of your life whether it be dating or marriage...because it is insanely hard to get to know somebody and understand them without doin the same for yourself...trust me im in a really bad struggle myself...another note as i read in another post...as you all know definitely no sex b4 marriage...as it is wrong i guess religiously and morally...i would suggest away from it because if there were to be a problem sometime down the road that will be one of your biggest regrets at least in my opinion...also relationships are tough and it takes two to make it work(as my girlfriend would say) even if you think that you are putting much effort into the relationship just stop and double check to see if you are because apparently women see alot of things we can't see as men...at least again my oppinion...hmm...i know im goin on and on but i guess the list has to stop there as i know i might be boring or ****ing somebody off right now as i tend to do so ill see the results and respond later...thank you for hearing me out...

 

[desi]

Hahaha!

My advice... make sure that you don't make your date pick up the tab for the meal..

Unless you don't care for another date with her.

 

[desi]

don't play with a girl's heart. Don't get involved romantically with a girl unless you are really willing at the possibility of making a commitment to her. That doesn't mean you have to marry a girl if you date her, but don't lead her on and get in a serious relationship with her then drop her because you don't want to fall in love with her because you aren't ready to make a commitment. If you aren't ready to commit if everything really works out, then don't date.

Some might suggest it is good to keep a few women 'on the line' to keep your options open if your first choice nixes you.

 

[desi]

Dating women effectively takes practice to be good at it. But after you are good at it you can choose the pick of the litter and have little trouble winning her over.

 

[mina]

ugh

 

[Breetai]

Some might suggest it is good to keep a few women 'on the line' to keep your options open if your first choice nixes you.

Uh dude, you're not supposed to say that outloud.

Dating women effectively takes practice to be good at it. But after you are good at it you can choose the pick of the litter and have little trouble winning her over.

...or that. That's what PMs are for.

That stuff works great if your playing the good 'ol dating game, but I don't think that is the way that it's supposed to be from a Christian standpoint. Unfortunately, it's a difficult task to switch from that dating game to the Biblical way...especially when most people, Christians included, are brought up thinking that they have to find a spouse this way.

I'm still trying to figure out just what the Biblical way is...

 

[Sascha Fitzpatrick]

I agree with Mina - don't say stuff just cos it felt good to say it in that moment- say it cos you mean it... Nothing hurts more than later on down the track when things get tough and you ask if they loved you, and they say 'no - I was just attracted to you at that point'...

I don't agree with keeping a few on the line - it is fine to go out with people 'as friends', but any more than that (either acknowledged out loud to the young woman, or just in your heart) and you're asking for trouble if you have more than one 'in the works'... I was horrified when my Aunt asked me once when I announced I was seeing someone if we were dating exclusively or not...

Yeah - be honest - say what you feel and MEAN it... don't EVER say anything just to get affection!

Sasch

 

[refusethemark]

I totally agree. Do NOT say "I love you" unless you are prepared to mean it in the true sense of the word. Love never fails, therefore, do not say it until you are prepared to mean it forever. And its not just the feeling, its the daily momental commitment each day. It's a choice and it's a verb. Do NOT take it lightly.

 

[desi]

Uh dude, you're not supposed to say that outloud.
...or that. That's what PMs are for.

That stuff works great if your playing the good 'ol dating game, but I don't think that is the way that it's supposed to be from a Christian standpoint. Unfortunately, it's a difficult task to switch from that dating game to the Biblical way...especially when most people, Christians included, are brought up thinking that they have to find a spouse this way.

I'm still trying to figure out just what the Biblical way is...

Good point Breetai! The 'ol dating game seems to be the new Christian dating game. When I read the Bible it seems either God provided a wife: Abraham and Adam, or the fellow had an arrangement with the father of the bride: Moses and David. Then there were Kings simply choosing a wife: David and Ezra-husband. Since most women today don't follow such traditional views Christian men are left to learn a new game. A game where dealing with emotions is often the key to winning over the wife of our dreams instead of rationality. The traditional non-game playing good guy is often left in the dust by the bad boys who know the rules.

 

[desi]

I totally agree. Do NOT say "I love you" unless you are prepared to mean it in the true sense of the word. Love never fails, therefore, do not say it until you are prepared to mean it forever. And its not just the feeling, its the daily momental commitment each day. It's a choice and it's a verb. Do NOT take it lightly.

Saying "I love you." is usually a good way to jump start a stalled relationship or 'go farther'-at least a base or two by traditional Meatloaf standards. 'Will you love her forever?'

 

[jay_swift]

Good point Breetai! The 'ol dating game seems to be the new Christian dating game. When I read the Bible it seems either God provided a wife: Abraham and Adam, or the fellow had an arrangement with the father of the bride: Moses and David. Then there were Kings simply choosing a wife: David and Ezra-husband. Since most women today don't follow such traditional views Christian men are left to learn a new game. A game where dealing with emotions is often the key to winning over the wife of our dreams instead of rationality. The traditional non-game playing good guy is often left in the dust by the bad boys who know the rules.

And the only way to learn the rules is to practice.

 

[desi]

Yeah - be honest - say what you feel and MEAN it... don't EVER say anything just to get affection!

Sasch is onto something here. Women often put more stock in what we say than what we do. Some women can be grossly mistreated but if they hear 'I love you.' once in awhile they will stand by their man, sadly my sister is one of these. Words are more powerful than actions with women. Say the right things at the right times and women will be receptive to your advances, or they may advance on you. Just remember we are accountable to God for what we do, so if you mess with women...

 

[lilray]

Some might suggest it is good to keep a few women 'on the line' to keep your options open if your first choice nixes you.

You're kidding right?