Dates - not the fruit

[Skavau]

Yes. That rock is Christ. 1 Cor 10.4b.

The point is that most people don't care about not having sex before marriage. Especially atheists, who the person you said to not do so is.

 

[Dave-W]

Why? Reasons? Logic? Goal? Pros, cons?

Why? Because we are guys and it is all on us.

 

[Jack of Spades]

Why? Because we are guys and it is all on us.

I'm less than convinced by the reasoning. Go a bit deeper, perhaps?

 

[Dave-W]

I'm less than convinced by the reasoning. Go a bit deeper, perhaps?

Cultural norms often do not come with "reasoning."

From the culture (northern US white christian) men are responsible to and for everything. We pay and get nothing in return.

 

[Inkfingers]

Is this a general rule I should remember?

It comes from a time when men were the main breadwinners and so women were not expected to have their own income.

You know, that time before women were convinced to flood the workplace with a new profusion of labour making it even harder for everyone to find a job, increasing congestion, creating the school run, giving government an excuse to take-over child care and education, further straining the family, accepting that women should be sumbissive to and dependent upon their boss but not their husband, and adding to the whole society of consumption by teaching women that work-spend is better than being a mother and housewife. Oh, and don't forget the housing bubble made by two salary incomes that have inflated the cost of buying a home.

Because progress.

 

[essentialsaltes]

In 1950s America, I expect it was a rigid rule that the man pays, always.

Since that time, women have achieved a greater degree of freedom, and the rule is no longer rigid. This, of course, results in occasional awkwardness -- proper etiquette requires rigid rules, but now there aren't any, and the two parties may have different expectations.

The asker pays; they split evenly; they alternate; all of these options exist, and there is, I think, still some lingering thought that the man pays.

 

[Tinker Grey]

1. The person asking should be prepared to pay.
2. The person who was asked should assume the asker doesn't know rule 1 and offer to pay 1/2.
3. If the arrangements were accompanied with hemming & hawing, negotiate before settling that a date would take place.

Of course, I've been married for 30+ years so what do I know.

 

[Oafman]

Men are hunters.

Except, we won't do the food shopping (the modern day equivalent of the hunt). That's ... errr... women's work.

Posting blind, but I imagine someone has already bemoaned the fact that women now earn money.

 

[dayhiker]

beans and hot dogs ....
As long as the beans are Boston baked beans!

 

[dayhiker]

Date costs .... generally I prefer that we split the cost of going out. I usually try to help out a date who doesn't have as much money as I do.

 

[Dave-W]

xcept, we won't do the food shopping (the modern day equivalent of the hunt). That's ... errr... women's work.

There is a difference between "hunting" and "shopping."

A good friend of my wife's recently got a long-winded dissertation from my youngest daughter on that difference.

 

[Dave-W]

As long as the beans are Boston backed beans!

Boston backed, or Boston BAKED??

 

[Skavau]

It comes from a time when men were the main breadwinners and so women were not expected to have their own income.

You know, that time before women were convinced to flood the workplace with a new profusion of labour making it even harder for everyone to find a job, increasing congestion, creating the school run, giving government an excuse to take-over child care and education, further straining the family, accepting that women should be sumbissive to and dependent upon their boss but not their husband, and adding to the whole society of consumption by teaching women that work-spend is better than being a mother and housewife. Oh, and don't forget the housing bubble made by two salary incomes that have inflated the cost of buying a home.

Because progress.

Are you suggesting that women should be prevented from entering the workplace?

 

[Jack of Spades]

Because progress.

Yeah, sounds like progress to me.

Forcing women to stay home because gender, would be the equivalent of forcing every male who's born during the first 6 months of every year to become a lumberjack. The rest would get to choose what they want to do.

Some would argue that kind of culture leads to a waste of intellectual etc. talent, which would benefit the society.

 

[Inkfingers]

Yeah, sounds like progress to me.

Of course it does, when you ignore all the problems it has brought.

 

[Jack of Spades]

Of course it does, when you ignore all the problems it has brought.

I like ignoring problems, it makes me feel happy and optimistic.

 

[Ana the Ist]

The guy should pay - for all of it. With no expectation of anything in return.

And no Ana - sex while dating should NEVER be expected. That is reserved for after you get married.

Oh, when I was dating I didn't "expect" sex...that doesn't mean I wouldn't actively pursue it though.

 

[Chesterton]

Don't you think this would be better shown by killing an deer with a spear? How will I know you can provide for helpless me otherwise?

Poor girl, dating wimps who need spears. My dates receive the thrill of watching me subdue and strangle a deer to death with my bare hands. Occasionally a rabbit or squirrel too.

 

[TerranceL]

I'm sorry. But if a man cant afford to take me out. They will eat nothing . They are screwed. I'm very flexible. I will except corn dogs and wine at his place. But I expect for him to pay. But if you're into both paying. Maybe he could pay the first meal , you can pay the next meal. Or bring a calculator and split the meal and tip.

And that's fine, as long as you NEVER EVER bring up gender equality.

 

[TerranceL]

Yes, I don't care about the rich guy. I want a good guy. So an expensive dinner doesn't mean much.

Don't want a rich but you want a good guy.

As long as that good guy has money.