Guys, knock off the debating. The sister needs help, and you are making things more difficult.
Kim, essentially you are elevating what you think was a sin - marrying your husband - above the efficacy of the blood of Christ. That doesn't compute. There is no sin that cannot be forgiven if it is repented, save the blasphemy of the Holy Spirit. And while that sin is debatable, we have to understand that it is a profound and willful denial of all the goodness of God.
You're right that salvation isn't free. It cost Jesus everything to purchase it for us. But He offers it freely to us. It is a gift we cannot earn.
You are also right that there is a price to following Jesus. Those who sincerely accept Christ will follow Him, not merely wear the label. And that will cause problems. But to say that following imperfectly brings damnation to the heart that still wants to follow is dead wrong. You are doing yourself a grave disservice, and you are underestimating the grace available to us.
"Taste and see that the Lord is good". You have beautiful children, a gift from God. They need you to overcome this error in your thinking. God is on your side in this, He is not against you. Remember Heb 11.6:
And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him.
God wants you to believe in His goodness and His power to save. This fatalism is not of Him. It is our enemy the devil who comes to steal, kill, and destroy. Don't give him the satisfaction of ripping you off any longer. Read Romans 8. There is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus. Missing it on occasion is not a permanent disqualification.
