dabro's problem!

[Sonicwhite]

Hello, my name is Daniel and I'm struggling with my Salvation. I have OCD and back in 05 I went thru a drug induced psychosis. I had alot of delusion and still deal with them today. I overdosed on XTC and from what I gathered the jail had to strap me down and sedate me to get me to the hostpital. I don't rememeber anything all I rememeber in waking up in detox. I kept going crazy thinking jail was the safiest place to go due to the persecution delusions I was having. Everything came down hard on me that yr. When I finally got the stength to get out of jail after 52 day's I was nut's, I had lost my mind and they had to take me to the psych ward. I didn't stay long cause I was tired of being locked up. It was a humbling experience and also was jail when your psychotic. Started using drug's even tho I was insane and not well, but not very much. I was afraid of my gf at the time. I was wanting to give into sin with her but had seen things that made me believe that God was real. After awhile I started getting better and then my gf broke up with me. The point of this story is I got saved after so much pain I went thru. But it seems as tho God was very angry with me, and I know that my choices caused alot of that mess. When I first got saved I felt loved for the first time in my whole life. Now it's hard to grasp that love because God seemed so angry with me in 05, That's why I went thru that and I'm afraid if I slip up again then He will kill me for sure. So any advice please!

 

[annrobert]

Dabro, God will not kill you if you mess up.
It takes time to grow and mature in Jesus.
God was not so angry with you in 05,God was keeping you safe and drawing you too Him,
No matter how you felt.
Jesus lifts us up and keeps us safe and loves us so deeply and comforts us.
He shed His own precious blood to wash us clean and take away our sins .
He changes us and gave us His Word to renew our minds with.
He heals us and sets at liberty the bruised.
He leads us to still waters and restores our souls.
He forgives our sins .
Jesus is faithful and just to forgive our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness when we confess them, not after we do some sort of penance or try to earn forgiveness but as soon as we ask HIm,Jesus forgives us washes away our sins, we do not have to earn this,
Jesus is our Good Shepherd, He comforts us
and is full of mercy and compassion and gentle power.
Jesus is meek and lowly in heart.
The wondeful Counsellor and the Prince of Peace.
Jesus is our merciful and compassionate Saviour
full of tender mercies.
He only wants us to come to Him and trust Him.
When we finally grasp how much Jesus loves us
and how much we can trust Him
To forgive us and heal us and lead us and
comfort us and restore us
How much Jesus is moved with compassion for us
His gentle and kind and trustworthy nature
We will run to Him
and He will be there for us in every way
He is the always going to keep us safe
and love us deeply
The more we taste and see that Jesus is good and trust Him with our lives
The more free we will be

Jesus will lead us and guide us and teach us

Jesus will keep us from falling
He is mighty to save

He gives strength to the weak

He sets our feet upon a Rock

it is not by works


or will power

It is abiding in Jesus , prayer and reading the bible

tasting and seeing that Jesus is good

and trustworthy
Loving and kind


spending time getting to know him

reading the bible and prayer and worship
Trusting Jesus and abiding in Him

being free to love Him fully

and trust Him with our lives
our everything
total surrender

to our Good Shepherd


Our Master can make us stand

It is Jesus and not how much will power we have

It is Jesus who we trust and not ourselves

our righteousness is of Jesus

we grow and mature and bear fruit by abiding in Jesus

prayer and renewing our minds with the bible

getting to know Jesus
tasting and seeing that Jesus is good
and loving and kind and compassionate and forgiving

we love Him and we grow and mature and bear fruit.
annrobert


God is not more angry with one redeemed and forgiven child of His than any other.

We are forgiven and washed in His blood

our sins are gone

our righteousness is of Him.

 

[gracealone]

Hey Daniel sonic guy who used to be Dabro,

"The severity of God is kinder than the kindness of men." The suffering you went through made you aware of Him. It made you aware of your condition apart from Him. It drew you to Him. That - my friend is a severe mercy.
Now your OCD wants to latch on to that past suffering and twist it round to make you fear or obsess that God was angry with you instead of merciful to you and that therefore He might be angry at you still. So tell it to "shove off" and this is why. "Though he slay me... yet will I trust Him."
Walk on!!
Mitzi

Hello, my name is Daniel and I'm struggling with my Salvation. I have OCD and back in 05 I went thru a drug induced psychosis. I had alot of delusion and still deal with them today. I overdosed on XTC and from what I gathered the jail had to strap me down and sedate me to get me to the hostpital. I don't rememeber anything all I rememeber in waking up in detox. I kept going crazy thinking jail was the safiest place to go due to the persecution delusions I was having. Everything came down hard on me that yr. When I finally got the stength to get out of jail after 52 day's I was nut's, I had lost my mind and they had to take me to the psych ward. I didn't stay long cause I was tired of being locked up. It was a humbling experience and also was jail when your psychotic. Started using drug's even tho I was insane and not well, but not very much. I was afraid of my gf at the time. I was wanting to give into sin with her but had seen things that made me believe that God was real. After awhile I started getting better and then my gf broke up with me. The point of this story is I got saved after so much pain I went thru. But it seems as tho God was very angry with me, and I know that my choices caused alot of that mess. When I first got saved I felt loved for the first time in my whole life. Now it's hard to grasp that love because God seemed so angry with me in 05, That's why I went thru that and I'm afraid if I slip up again then He will kill me for sure. So any advice please!

 

[Sonicwhite]

Thanks Mitzi!!! I'm trying to keep strong and I know God loves me. Just all the traumatic fear I went thru wants to latch on again and the confusion. I just don't want to go thru that again. My first thought when I went thru the Breakdown was God was punishing me even tho I wasn't saved I had this great fear about Him and realized the life I was living. I stayed up in jail for like 2 month's cos I couldn't sleep. And it seems to be ingrained in me of that fear. But oh well I seem a lit'l better I just got to stay on the med's and listen to the doc's. Cos I have OCD with Psychosis which is a hard mixture.