Cyber Rape

[TerranceL]

Which is?

Well for one it's nearly impossible to be physically harmed by something done online.

 

[ValleyGal]

Well for one it's nearly impossible to be physically harmed by something done online.

Maybe, but I'd rather take a physical beating any day rather than a destroyed reputation forever.

 

[ValleyGal]

Sometimes it's the only way to resolve anything. Failing to hold the victim accountable encourages the same mistake to be repeated in the future.

A victim should never be blamed for wrong done to them. Ever. Yes, people learn hard mistakes, and we need to teach our young women (and men) to respect their own body enough to not send digital pics of themselves. But if someone does, and it is done in private with one intended user, that person becomes a victim when the pic is not used for the purpose for which it was intended. No victim is to be blamed for the actions of another person. It is the other person's responsibility. Don't make victims responsible for the actions of an abuser....all that does is perpetuate the abuse.

 

[TerranceL]

Maybe, but I'd rather take a physical beating any day rather than a destroyed reputation forever.

As someone who took many beatings when I was younger, I respectfully disagree.

 

[ValleyGal]

As someone who took many beatings when I was younger, I respectfully disagree.

I hear you, and I know it's easy to say, unless you've experienced both. While it took me a couple of weeks to recover from each of my beatings from an ex, it is taking a lifetime to recover from a destroyed reputation, and I had to move away and start over for that to happen. Neither are pleasant, but I seriously wish the one who betrayed me had simply beaten me rather than spreading the things around about me that she did - which destroyed all my family of origin relationships, my reputation in the church, all but two of my close friendships. A destroyed reputation is much more difficult to recover from - if you can recover at all, imo.

No one, no matter how provoked, should ever post provocative pics of another person without their consent. And if they do, never, ever blame a victim.

 

[Paradoxum]

'Revenge porn' victim devotes life fighting to change nation's laws | Fox News

So I haven't heard of cyber rape before, so I guess it exists. What I don't understand is this: why? Why would you wanna send someone provocative photos of yourself? I have no sympathy for her, because she knew there is a possibility that the photos would be found on the internet. Why is that? It's the internet, and almost everything can be googled that a person posts. Also, how is it "rape"? All I gotta say is this: people are too sensitive and lack moral character and fortitude.

Sounds like you are blaming the victim. Sure it is possible that the photos could make their way to the internet, but it's also possible that if you leave your house that you could be murdered. It's possible if I go out at night I could be raped. That doesn't mean I would be to blame though. If I tell someone a secret, they could post my secret on the internet. Does that mean we should never express ourselves?

I agree that it isn't rape, but it has nothing to do with moral character. Sending naked pictures isn't immoral.

Cyber rape? Really? I'm against rape but this is not rape. If your naive enough to send nude photos of yourself online to a "boyfriend" and think he will never share them then its your own fault. In todays world this is stuff you have to be VERY careful with.

Especially when teens do it. Its like do you really think your horny teen boyfriend won't show his friends or post them if you break up? >.>

Blaming the victim? Cool

I agree it isn't rape, but it isn't their fault for not wearing a burqa. If you trust someone then you don't expect someone to break that trust. Even if you break up, you can still have some decency about it.

You can say that sending such pictures is unwise, but it's completely uncompassionate to blame the victim. The person in the wrong is the person who violated the trust.

Is blaming the victim always wrong? What if the victim is suffering because of his/her poor decisions? Sometimes it is the victim's fault.

It depends what you mean by blaming the victim. It's okay to say a bad/ unwise decision was made, but blaming the victim tends to go beyond that. A bad decision can be made, but that isn't a reason to say it was their fault, so there is no reason to feel compassion for them. Victim blaming also tend to focus on the minor faults of the victim, rather than the greater faults of the violator.

Its socially acceptable to laugh as people who kill themselves in stupid ways, but I'm not sure that is right. A real person who had thoughts, feels, loves and goals, is dead. Are we to think that a bad decisions justifies death? And in a lesser way... does a bad decision justify violation of privacy and trust?

That's hilariously wrong. There are times that a decision someone makes can assist in their own victimization. But we live in a feel good culture and pointing out that "hey your own poor choices might have brought you to this place in your own life" is frowned upon.

I think 'blaming the victim' doesn't come from a place of helpful advice. It tends to come from a place of disregarding the harm to another. Provocatively dressed women are ****, so they kinda deserve it. Girls who take naked pictures are morally degenerate... so they deserve to be striped of their privacy.

I thought we weren't blaming victims? Would any of this have happened if she had some dignity and didn't send the photo?

Or we could teach our young women to have a bit of dignity and refuse to send lewd pictures of themselves to others.

I know it's a difficult concept but hey, personal responsiblity and all.

What is undignified about being naked?

In my opinion this sort of victim blaming still comes from a culture which sees sex, sexuality, and nudity as fundamentally dirty, and in some sense bad. This justifies telling the victim to shut up and stop complaining about their violation.

I don't mean to aim that at you particularly... I'm just saying.

 

[RDKirk]

Maybe, but I'd rather take a physical beating any day rather than a destroyed reputation forever.

A serious physical beating will result in injuries that will be lifelong. In this day, it's very likely that exposed sexual images won't "destroy" a reputation at all, might not even damage it for long. Heck, Anthony Wiener could have made a comeback if he hadn't still been doing it. It's a new day.

 

[1Feather]

This would not stop prosecution.

And yet there are no laws that are able to be prosecuted yet in a case like this are there? Isn't that what the young woman is pushing for? So that those who offend in this manner are held accountable?

Sometimes it's the only way to resolve anything. Failing to hold the victim accountable encourages the same mistake to be repeated in the future.

Blaming the woman who was made a victim by a man who was not within her control is just another assault on her person.
She may have been guilty of bad judgment but she is not to be held accountable for his subjecting her to being a cyber porn victim!

He also knows her contact information. Is she to be held accountable if he posts her name, address, phone numbers (land line and cell) , and even her social security number, along with her images?

Is she accountable for that? She's responsible for taking the pictures but she's not accountable for his free choice in using them to destroy her image and reputation. And subject her to a breach of privacy and even personal security.

 

[RDKirk]

Let's note something here, btw:

In April 2013, Jacobs filed a civil lawsuit against Seay as well as websites and servers that posted the photos and personal information. The lawsuit claims that Seay and the other defendants violated her privacy by posting such photos and information without her consent. The complaint also seeks a court order prohibiting additional publication by the defendant, and to retrieve or destroy all the photos in Seay's possession, Jacobs' Miami-based attorney, Patrick McGeehan, told FoxNews.com.

All states have laws protecting privacy and laws against public humiliation. These are laws that are handled by civil lawsuits--not criminal laws. That's why the police didn't carry out any arrests, why the FBI didn't get involved, et cetera. Filing a civil lawsuit under those privacy laws is the way this is supposed to be handled.

Seay, 28, could not be reached for comment. He has reportedly claimed someone hacked into his computer and stole the photos from him. In an e-mail to FoxNews.com, his attorney, Charles Arline, denied any wrongdoing by his client.

This may or may not be true, however it is still true that a defendant is considered innocent until proven otherwise in a court of law.

 

[Tainted Scrolls]

First of all...who cares if you have naked pictures on the internet? No one that looks at those pictures has any idea who you are...People are just over sensitive to things. Does it suck that it happened? Yes...but bringing more attention to it is worse.

And second how is this rape? That is just stupid. This type of stuff happens EVERY SINGLE DAY. Why is this one case so important? Just sounds like someone putting them self on a pedestal above everyone else's problems.

 

[Eudaimonist]

This type of stuff happens EVERY SINGLE DAY. Why is this one case so important? Just sounds like someone putting them self on a pedestal above everyone else's problems.

Real rape happens hundreds of times every single day in America. That doesn't make it any less serious.


eudaimonia,

Mark

 

[CounselorForChrist]

I agree it isn't rape, but it isn't their fault for not wearing a burqa. If you trust someone then you don't expect someone to break that trust. Even if you break up, you can still have some decency about it. You can say that sending such pictures is unwise, but it's completely uncompassionate to blame the victim. The person in the wrong is the person who violated the trust.

Well thats the problem right there. In this world, especially in america if theres one thing I learned its trust is not easy to come by. I never said the victim is all at fault, obviously the scum person who posted the pictures is to blame to. But some blame still falls with the person who sent the pictures. I mean its the internet after all. Everyone knows its a dangerous place at times. Sending nude pics of yourself is just crazy.

The only exception would be if you were married. Because obviously your relationship made it to the point of marriage so hopefully the trust is fully there. Not that marriages don't end of course and pics don't get kept and or sent. Of course you really wouldn't need nude pics of your spouse since they are with you all the time anyways.

Another part of this I am also addressing is age. While shes 23, you should know better at that age. Most breakups I see are from people under 25-30. So your taking a risk sending pics at that age. Again yes I know that if older it doesn't necessarily mean it wouldn't happen of course. Lastly why as an adult would you be willing to ruin your reputation by sending a picture? Its playing with fire that could have simply been avoided.

Again unless your married then have respect for yourself and don't send those types of photos. And if you feel you must because someone asked you too then dump that person since they obviously have no respect for your body.

Back to the rape thing again, someone mentioned how is it different from online and offline. Well offline you actually get assault, then sexually assaulted, will forever have ongoing issues...etc. Online none of this happens. You just lose your dignity. Hence calling it rape is stupid. That would be like if someone said they wanted to kill me and I claimed I was murdered! Its just the most silly thing to even say.

In real life too the rape victim didn't have a choice, didn't ask for it. Where as online the sending of the pics had a choice and while not asking for it could have prevented it.

 

[Paradoxum]

Well thats the problem right there. In this world, especially in america if theres one thing I learned its trust is not easy to come by. I never said the victim is all at fault, obviously the scum person who posted the pictures is to blame to. But some blame still falls with the person who sent the pictures. I mean its the internet after all. Everyone knows its a dangerous place at times. Sending nude pics of yourself is just crazy.

Well I've had the opposite reaction as I've grown up. I used to think most people were bad, but now it almost always turns out that people are nicer than I expect. But I agree that you have to know someone pretty well to trust them.

I don't know how much the victim is at fault. Would you say that a rape victim who walked home at night alone is partly responsible, and therefore there's no reason to feel bad for her?

You can say that an unwise or unlucky decision was made, but I think that is different from blaming them and disregarding their suffering.

The only exception would be if you were married. Because obviously your relationship made it to the point of marriage so hopefully the trust is fully there. Not that marriages don't end of course and pics don't get kept and or sent. Of course you really wouldn't need nude pics of your spouse since they are with you all the time anyways.

Another part of this I am also addressing is age. While shes 23, you should know better at that age. Most breakups I see are from people under 25-30. So your taking a risk sending pics at that age. Again yes I know that if older it doesn't necessarily mean it wouldn't happen of course. Lastly why as an adult would you be willing to ruin your reputation by sending a picture? Its playing with fire that could have simply been avoided.

Well I guess you don't expect a close boyfriend to do something like that, even if you break up.

Again unless your married then have respect for yourself and don't send those types of photos. And if you feel you must because someone asked you too then dump that person since they obviously have no respect for your body.

There's nothing disrespectful about naked pictures. You could even argue that wearing clothes shows a lack of self-respect, since you are embarrassed of your body.

Back to the rape thing again, someone mentioned how is it different from online and offline. Well offline you actually get assault, then sexually assaulted, will forever have ongoing issues...etc. Online none of this happens. You just lose your dignity. Hence calling it rape is stupid. That would be like if someone said they wanted to kill me and I claimed I was murdered! Its just the most silly thing to even say.

I agree it isn't rape.

In real life too the rape victim didn't have a choice, didn't ask for it. Where as online the sending of the pics had a choice and while not asking for it could have prevented it.

The rape victim could have not gone out at night alone. But the person to blame is the rapist, not the victim. The person taking the pictures also isn't to blame, the person violating their privacy and trust are.

 

[TerranceL]

I agree it isn't rape, but it isn't their fault for not wearing a burqa. If you trust someone then you don't expect someone to break that trust. Even if you break up, you can still have some decency about it.

There are levels of trust, and unless she was a naive child she knows this kind of thing happens. Any guy who asks a woman for those kinds of pics is asking for a massive amount of trust. Only a fool provides those pics.

You can say that sending such pictures is unwise, but it's completely uncompassionate to blame the victim. The person in the wrong is the person who violated the trust.

And yet it's completely accurate to blame her also. If I leave my doors unlocked and my house gets robbed I am still a victim and I still am partially responsible for my own victimization.

It depends what you mean by blaming the victim. It's okay to say a bad/ unwise decision was made, but blaming the victim tends to go beyond that. A bad decision can be made, but that isn't a reason to say it was their fault, so there is no reason to feel compassion for them. Victim blaming also tend to focus on the minor faults of the victim, rather than the greater faults of the violator.

Is anybody saying that the man isn't at fault to? Not that I see. It doesn't even mean that we can't feel bad for her, what it means is that we are facing the reality of the situation.

Its socially acceptable to laugh as people who kill themselves in stupid ways, but I'm not sure that is right. A real person who had thoughts, feels, loves and goals, is dead. Are we to think that a bad decisions justifies death?

Yes. There are certain expected outcomes for behavior and actions. It's one of the reasons why people like the circus and "death defying" acts.

And in a lesser way... does a bad decision justify violation of privacy and trust?

Nobody has said what happened to her was just. Pointing out it was partially her fault is not saying what happened to her was right.

I think 'blaming the victim' doesn't come from a place of helpful advice. It tends to come from a place of disregarding the harm to another. Provocatively dressed women are ****, so they kinda deserve it. Girls who take naked pictures are morally degenerate... so they deserve to be striped of their privacy.

I don't know anybody who believes that.

There is a difference between saying, "Wow that dude totally deserved that!" and "Wow if that dude had only had the foresight to lock his doors he would still have his big screen tv!"

People don't deserve to be victims, it doesn't mean that they didn't necessarily have a part to play in their own victimization.

What is undignified about being naked?

So then she has nothing to be mad about right?

In my opinion this sort of victim blaming still comes from a culture which sees sex, sexuality, and nudity as fundamentally dirty, and in some sense bad. This justifies telling the victim to shut up and stop complaining about their violation.

You'd have a point if we've seen anybody telling her to stupid and stop complaining. Have we?

I don't mean to aim that at you particularly... I'm just saying.

LIES!

 

[FreeSpirit74]

A victim should never be blamed for wrong done to them. Ever.

OK, so if, for example since we're talking about rape, a woman leaves her doors/windows unlocked in her house/apartment, and someone decides to walk right into and steal from her, or attack and rape her, she's NOT at fault for that?

If she goes out walking around by herself at night, face in her cell phone and not looking up, paying strict attention to her surroundings and gets pulled into a van by someone who is intent on raping her (this actually happened in my area several years ago - the woman was able to jump out of the vehicle completely naked and run to the nearest house for help), she's NOT at fault for putting herself into that situation?

And what about the 16-year-old girl I read an article about several months back (in Cosmo - a publication that glorifies the idea of "I can do whatever I want and to h*ll with the consequences"), who threw a party at her father's house while he was out of town on business, and the teenagers all got into the alcohol (including her).... and I think you can guess what happened after that... she got passed-out drunk, was raped, and the photos ended up on-line. She's NOT at fault for what happened? And she not only put herself at risk by drinking to the point of passing out, which makes her vulnerable to whatever the drunk-and-horny males at that party got it into their heads to do (whereas staying sober and fully in control would have put her in a better position to deal with them - better yet, don't throw a party with alcohol when you're not even legally able to drink! Duh!), but she actually opened her father up to legal ramifications, because it was his house.

Sorry, but telling someone that they needed to be more mindful of the situations they chose to put themselves into because of the outcome is NOT "blaming the victim." Each one of those situations above could have been prevented... and the way to do it is oh, so simple.

 

[TerranceL]

Sorry, but telling someone that they needed to be more mindful of the situations they chose to put themselves into because of the outcome is NOT "blaming the victim." Each one of those situations above could have been prevented... and the way to do it is oh, so simple.

Well that would require people being personally responsible, and telling people they need to be personally responsible hurts some peoples fee fees. So gotta tip toe around em.

 

[Armoured]

So with the same kind of logic if you expose your bits to a girlfriend or boyfriend it is your fault if they mutilate them?

Well, if you knew it was likely they were going to mutilate them... yes? I think the problem with the whole "blaming the victim" thing is people insist it has to be a zero sum game. Say someone rapes a second person... the rapist is certainly fully culpable and at 100% fault. At the same time, the victim who was knowingly drinking with a bunch of strangers in the part of town with a bad reputation is certainly responsible of poor judgement, to say the least.

Again, in no way excusing a rapist in any way. Still don't think that makes it a good idea for anyone to wander the darkened streets in a bad area at midnight. You have the right to be there. You have the right to question the genital size of a 9 foot tall Hells Angel with known control issues, too. Just because you have the right to do something doesn't necessarily make it a good idea.

 

[Lovely Jar]

I wish Ms.Jacobs would have held up a picture of the ex-boyfriend for this article. This way women would be well aware of the warning. The excuse that his computer was hacked is about as believable as those excuses Kardashian, Hilton, and Pam Anderson used when their sex tapes mysteriously hit the net.

Cyber rape. What a term. I'd hope something could be done about this. Distributing sensitive materials of any sort with the intent to harm.

I knew a guy that would entice his gf's to send him risque pictures during their relationship. Revenge insurance he called it.
If they broke up with him he took the pictures and put them on Russian women dating sites along with their online contact information. Facebook page link, Twitter account, email.

I never knew this until one night he drunk dialed me after one of his latest girlfriends left him for his cousin. He was in the process of getting trashed while doing that very thing while trying to see the keyboard through the Wild Turkey haze.

He thought he'd speed dialed his best friend and by the time he stopped blabbering as to what he was doing, and realized it was me and not Robert the friendship was over.

What possesses people?

 

[Armoured]

Picture 2 banks. One takes the standsrd precautions, vault, alarms guards, etc. The other takes more of an "honour system" view, and doesn't so much as lock the door. Now, we all know that any person who chooses to rob a bank of their own free will is 100% guilty, of course. However, given what we know about human nature, can anyone here honestly tell me that the bank without door locks should feel surprised when it is robbed?

 

[elephunky]

Theres a difference though between online and offline.

Oh I see so it is perfectly ok to exploit, abuse, bully, harass etc online but not offline? Is that right?