My Ex is holding our kids away from me, so that on paper she can claim alot of child support. in court she's fighting me every step of the way to have it written down that im only seeing them 20 or even 15 % of the time, but they are with me regularly. i've got orderes that are very vague. they said that its' joint physical joint legal and times will be arranged by parents. she fights me EVERY step of the way, but the kids are the only casualties in this. how can i fix this? take her back to court because she's playing the 'we cant agree' card so it's limiting my kids coming home. she wont let them come home over night or anything,..what too do? will the court listen? does anyone up there care about dads ? i love my kids to death and will not stop fighthing, but it's hard and i need to invest my fighthing strength into something that will work..and before anyone posts this - i cant afford a lawyer
Custody issues
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Easyk
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- Aug 27, 2007
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read up the laws and defend yourself? take her to court, or do mediation..
the other thing you can do is locate a lawyer who will help at little to no cost (if thye win the defender would pay his fees..) some christian lawyers who would help you out..
more importantly pray about it.
the other thing you can do is locate a lawyer who will help at little to no cost (if thye win the defender would pay his fees..) some christian lawyers who would help you out..
more importantly pray about it.
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laconicstudent
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Yeah, I think some lawyers will do representation for people who can't afford it as a form of charity work.
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Luther073082
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- Apr 1, 2007
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Not to be discouraging or anything, but in my experience you are correct the law doesn't really care about Fathers.
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Liquidate your assets and leave the country, or get a good lawyer who fights dirty.
One of my mothers exhusbands had a lawyer who paid off her lawyer to botch the case. After that I realized how the law works. I realized there is justice in the world, it just comes at a price.
One of my mothers exhusbands had a lawyer who paid off her lawyer to botch the case. After that I realized how the law works. I realized there is justice in the world, it just comes at a price.
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stop with the nonsense..but i like the avi ^^
anyways,
im pretty hurt. the ex is restricting me from having the boys for excuse reasons, but this past weekend took them to a house party in which they didnt sleep until 3am and had to sleep there. my youngest son is so distant and angry now he doesnt want to leave my home. he begs to stay with me because he doesnt like the lifestyle my ex is now leading or the man that she's shoehorning them around.
i dont know what to do or what to say so i just promised to continue fighting until they come back or can choose to come home
anyways,
im pretty hurt. the ex is restricting me from having the boys for excuse reasons, but this past weekend took them to a house party in which they didnt sleep until 3am and had to sleep there. my youngest son is so distant and angry now he doesnt want to leave my home. he begs to stay with me because he doesnt like the lifestyle my ex is now leading or the man that she's shoehorning them around.
i dont know what to do or what to say so i just promised to continue fighting until they come back or can choose to come home
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ShainaBrina
The joy of the Lord is my strength
Doesn't Joint custody mean 50%/50%?
Have you tried writting letters? laying out a custody schedule? Can the police help you to enforce a schedule?
I've seen this mistake before... 'letting the parents decide' It's best to have everything written out plainly. Perhaps there is a men's action group that could be of help... teach you how to proceed on your own without a lawyer.
Have you tried writting letters? laying out a custody schedule? Can the police help you to enforce a schedule?
I've seen this mistake before... 'letting the parents decide' It's best to have everything written out plainly. Perhaps there is a men's action group that could be of help... teach you how to proceed on your own without a lawyer.
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i dont know the terms but im learning as i go. i've reopened the case and this time im very specific about what im asking for the days times and reasons behind it. this is all my eggs in one basket and to be honest im already discouraged
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ShainaBrina
The joy of the Lord is my strength
Don't be discouraged, God can work it all out. Perhaps now that you've taken steps...she'll be agreeable.
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It can be rough. What I would recommend is start NOW writing down when you have the case and when situations happen where the kids complain to you about problems. The court probably won't care if they simply say they want to be with you (until they are about 12, then the court listens to kids in most cases). But if you can present to the court a calendar showing that you have your kids X% of the time, the court is inclined to maintain status quo.
It may or may not help, but it shouldn't hurt to try.
It may or may not help, but it shouldn't hurt to try.
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i have been. i write everything down and all the times teh kids cry when it's time to leave. im paying for both homes and she cant afford to live on her own, so she's using the custody as means to collect more money., while she is basically inviting the man that she cheated on me with into her place. im exausted and depressed over it all. example. my son turned 11 yesterday.
he wanted to come with me. not because i had any plans, just that we are closer than they are with her. they are resentful at her for cheating and breaking the family up and not letting them come home with me. so he asks her can i see my dad ? she says 'no you tell him I SAID.."
and when i talked to him his response was that he's hurt and that she's doing what she can to hurt ME when in reality it's just hurting him and his brother.
he wanted to come with me. not because i had any plans, just that we are closer than they are with her. they are resentful at her for cheating and breaking the family up and not letting them come home with me. so he asks her can i see my dad ? she says 'no you tell him I SAID.."
and when i talked to him his response was that he's hurt and that she's doing what she can to hurt ME when in reality it's just hurting him and his brother.
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ProAntiRevolution
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Joint legal custody means that both parents have to agree on issues regarding the children. It's fairly standard for court orders to include joint legal custody, in practical terms it's pretty meaningless. Joint physical custody would refer to an actual 50/50 (or something close to it) time share.
As a general rule family courts like to issue quick and vague initial orders. If divorced parents can work though the vague side of it on their own, great. If they can't (and most can't) then you have to come back to court over and over again to get a decent and specific order. This is job security for judges, clerical staff, lawyers, and everyone else that profits from the divorce industry.
For this sort of a custody issue you really need to get a good lawyer that can draft up a very specific order regarding the time share and reflect that in support awards. Otherwise mom is going to continue trying to get maximum child support for time she doesn't have the children in her custody.
The only other tactic that might work is to refuse to exercise anything but the visitation that she's claiming you do for the money. When she actually has to have the kids that much she might feel like being able to actually have a social life is worth the loss of child support dollars.
As a general rule family courts like to issue quick and vague initial orders. If divorced parents can work though the vague side of it on their own, great. If they can't (and most can't) then you have to come back to court over and over again to get a decent and specific order. This is job security for judges, clerical staff, lawyers, and everyone else that profits from the divorce industry.
For this sort of a custody issue you really need to get a good lawyer that can draft up a very specific order regarding the time share and reflect that in support awards. Otherwise mom is going to continue trying to get maximum child support for time she doesn't have the children in her custody.
The only other tactic that might work is to refuse to exercise anything but the visitation that she's claiming you do for the money. When she actually has to have the kids that much she might feel like being able to actually have a social life is worth the loss of child support dollars.
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this weekend she had a wedding - on fathers day.
the first thing she did was call me up saturday to drop the boys off because they were 'upset at waiting for her hair to be done' for sunday so she needed them to come by. i told her no. i got woken up at like 7 or 8 to get them immediately because she had plans and had no problem getting them around and i had them till late night.
all of this is and has been recorded on my notes, but in court she hides her face and places the gimmick of needing to be there for them 82 % of the month.
the first thing she did was call me up saturday to drop the boys off because they were 'upset at waiting for her hair to be done' for sunday so she needed them to come by. i told her no. i got woken up at like 7 or 8 to get them immediately because she had plans and had no problem getting them around and i had them till late night.
all of this is and has been recorded on my notes, but in court she hides her face and places the gimmick of needing to be there for them 82 % of the month.
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I would stop paying for her place and start funneling money into a forign account somewhere and start looking for work overseas, when all of this falls apart in your lap (because she will eventually win) you can get on a plane and dont look back. The state department has a list of forign nations that will cooperate with the US on child support orders (so dont go to thoes nations).
Also look into changing your SSN, it is illegal but if you can pull it off you can take jobs without having your check eventually garnished, the only problem is I dont know how you would transfer professional licences to the new SSN. Nothing is impossible though.
Also once you loose the case if you can get visitation you could move to the ghetto and force her to bring the kid there (if she does not bring the kid there she will be in contempt of court), if she does not like it tell her to cut the child support in half or less, this will free up alot of your income so you still have some fun money. The place will have to pass health inspection etc but the court can not discriminate aginst poor people and where they live.
Also look into changing your SSN, it is illegal but if you can pull it off you can take jobs without having your check eventually garnished, the only problem is I dont know how you would transfer professional licences to the new SSN. Nothing is impossible though.
Also once you loose the case if you can get visitation you could move to the ghetto and force her to bring the kid there (if she does not bring the kid there she will be in contempt of court), if she does not like it tell her to cut the child support in half or less, this will free up alot of your income so you still have some fun money. The place will have to pass health inspection etc but the court can not discriminate aginst poor people and where they live.
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i wont even sugar coat this for this sight.
janman , if you were in front of me i'd break your jaw
janman , if you were in front of me i'd break your jaw
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Fields I have no great advice for you but just wanted you to know that my heart goes out to you. You sound like a great Dad. Pray, pray & pray! Psalm 37
I know based on your posts that you won't but don't stop fighting on their behalf!! One thing that you could maybe draw strength from is that despite all of this crud your boys must feel some peace in knowing their Dad is consistent & loves them...even from a distance I know that has to bring them comfort.
God bless!
I know based on your posts that you won't but don't stop fighting on their behalf!! One thing that you could maybe draw strength from is that despite all of this crud your boys must feel some peace in knowing their Dad is consistent & loves them...even from a distance I know that has to bring them comfort.
God bless!
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i'll take comfort in that - because they really believe in me. every picture of me, is with a cape and an ' s ' on my chest...they dont see what goes into my weeks so i guess your right
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