- Sep 4, 2022
- 1
- 1
- 32
- Country
- Australia
- Gender
- Female
- Faith
- Christian
- Marital Status
- Single
Sorry if this is the wrong place to post this.
This will be long, I apologise in advance. I would also appreciate if only Christians gave their advice on this particular post.
I feel like pastors and the like would not fully ‘get it’ when it comes to things like fandoms, fanfictions and fictional crushes. So I can't really ask them. But I do need some help with this. At the very least, this will help me get some outside perspective. Also a warning I will be giving a bit on the TMI side and these questions will make me out to be a weirdo.
As I stated in my title, I very much get crushes on fictional villains, and not Disney-level villains but murderers and torturers and the like. I like fanfics of them. I like to daydream about scary and/or romantic situations and I do so a *great deal*. I try to not daydream about explicit things like high level violence or flat out sexual stuff. But I do like things on the darker side. Anyone here who knows what are 'yandere' is will know some of the stuff I like. Plus thinking of romances with such characters are good catalysts for making up interesting really stories.
But I’ve been thinking that I still might be doing something wrong here, as I can still find such daydreams arousing. Or even if I didn’t think of such people and things as arousing in some ways it would still be wrong to regularly think of such things or have such attachment to even fictional evil people. Even though I would not touch it with a ten foot pole in real life (though I have realized I sometimes have knee jerk reactions to things that I should not have because how I might have conditioned myself, but seriously I do not want to be with such people in real life or condone their actions *at all*)
So, is it wrong of me to do these things? To have these attachments and daydreams? And if so, what the heck do I replace it with that my brain won't just throw away as being tortuously boring to think about?
Part of why I want to know the answer is that giving up such things will be very hard for me because I have been using it as a coping mechanism for the majority of my life. I even liked villains as a kid, though in mostly different ways lol. I have depression, anxiety, autism and ADHD, which can make for a very lonely, sad person. And a person who craves excitement without actual risk.
Also having those sorts of daydreams is sort of a weird self-soothing thing when my brain makes it hard for me to sleep. And I have no idea what I will do to cope in their absence. So it better be pretty darn important as a Christian for me to make attempts to give it up, not just a hazy ‘maybe’.
Plus I've tried to before and it Did Not Go Well. I could not find what to replace it with that my brain actually wanted to lack onto/ didn't get bored with. So it was like trying to think of nothing.
So, sorry for the long, werid post, but this has been a struggle for a while now.
This will be long, I apologise in advance. I would also appreciate if only Christians gave their advice on this particular post.
I feel like pastors and the like would not fully ‘get it’ when it comes to things like fandoms, fanfictions and fictional crushes. So I can't really ask them. But I do need some help with this. At the very least, this will help me get some outside perspective. Also a warning I will be giving a bit on the TMI side and these questions will make me out to be a weirdo.
As I stated in my title, I very much get crushes on fictional villains, and not Disney-level villains but murderers and torturers and the like. I like fanfics of them. I like to daydream about scary and/or romantic situations and I do so a *great deal*. I try to not daydream about explicit things like high level violence or flat out sexual stuff. But I do like things on the darker side. Anyone here who knows what are 'yandere' is will know some of the stuff I like. Plus thinking of romances with such characters are good catalysts for making up interesting really stories.
But I’ve been thinking that I still might be doing something wrong here, as I can still find such daydreams arousing. Or even if I didn’t think of such people and things as arousing in some ways it would still be wrong to regularly think of such things or have such attachment to even fictional evil people. Even though I would not touch it with a ten foot pole in real life (though I have realized I sometimes have knee jerk reactions to things that I should not have because how I might have conditioned myself, but seriously I do not want to be with such people in real life or condone their actions *at all*)
So, is it wrong of me to do these things? To have these attachments and daydreams? And if so, what the heck do I replace it with that my brain won't just throw away as being tortuously boring to think about?
Part of why I want to know the answer is that giving up such things will be very hard for me because I have been using it as a coping mechanism for the majority of my life. I even liked villains as a kid, though in mostly different ways lol. I have depression, anxiety, autism and ADHD, which can make for a very lonely, sad person. And a person who craves excitement without actual risk.
Also having those sorts of daydreams is sort of a weird self-soothing thing when my brain makes it hard for me to sleep. And I have no idea what I will do to cope in their absence. So it better be pretty darn important as a Christian for me to make attempts to give it up, not just a hazy ‘maybe’.
Plus I've tried to before and it Did Not Go Well. I could not find what to replace it with that my brain actually wanted to lack onto/ didn't get bored with. So it was like trying to think of nothing.
So, sorry for the long, werid post, but this has been a struggle for a while now.
