crushes

[vibrant]

i've been wondering something and i felt that the people here would help me out.

i've been hearing a lot of married people admit to crushes on people other than their spouses, sometimes gleefully, like kelly rippa with george clooney. i think she even licked a page with his picture to prove her point. what do you folks think of this situation? can you have crushes on other people? should you admit it in public? or, are such feelings only reserved to your spouse, even if you find other attractive?

 

[chriso]

I think having a "crush" on someone else besides your spouse is going into dangerous territory. Where does a crush end and lust begin? Or is it the same thing? We need to be committed only to our spouses in a romantic way.

 

[GREG]

I am committed to my wife but I think Catherine Zeta is a babe. Every night I go to my wife happily. I dont consider it a crush and I wont lick her picture. My wife knows but I have one and she has a list

 

[stephen1964]

I think it depends on how far you take it. In Greg's case, where you are admiring the beauty of a famous actress or actor, I don't see any harm. However, if you are drooling over your co-worker or other aquaintance, it could lead to a situation where you could compromise your marraige vows (which are a promise made to youself, your spouse and God).

 

[ceres]

If it is a famous person, no harm done. If it is someone you know, friend or coworker that is entirely wrong. If you have those feelings while you ar emarried you should avoid that person like the plague and tell your spouse so he/she can keep you accountable.

 

[katelyn]

I think this is a subject where you have to be very careful. Of course it is natural to notice attractive people, but "crush" to me implies that you are infatuated, perhaps even daydream about that person. I try to flee from those kinds of thoughts.

 

[Galantry]

Recognising beauty is one thing. But with guys especially, what you do with your eyes is important. When you marry someone you commit your whole self to them - that includes your eyes and even your thoughts.

Sometimes it's the small things that give rise to bigger ones. If you're spending a lot of time thinking about or admiring other people, then it's possible it starts detracting from your appreciation and admiration of your spouse.

If you need to focus your attentions and fantasies on someone, make it your spouse - push romance to a new level. Make your dreams (and theirs) come true.

Use your creativity for a practical and real situation.

 

[JillLars]

To be completely honest I have found myself in the beginning stages of a crush before, simple infatuation. I flee it like the plague. I love my fiance and would never put myself in a situation where I would be tempted to compromise our relationship. I make it a point to never go out with a guy I feel I could "fall for". Example: During highschool there was a guy friend of mine who like me and I liked him but we never ended up dating. Him and I are very good friends, but because of our past, and the fact that I liked him in the past, I don't do things alone with him. I trust myself, but why risk it. I think its easy to be infatuated with someone, but it should be avoided because it could lead to something more.

 

[FervidPrincess]

When you are married I think its fine to recognize beauty, but to have a crush on someone that I dont understand.

I have been married to my husband for 16 years and have never looked at another man as being hot or cute...let alone lick someones picture. I think that kind of behavior is uncalled for.

My husband works in a factory and hears men (even the married ones)say all sorts of things about women. They have asked him why he never says anything about them and his responce to them is that he is perfectly happy with his wife.

 

[49erfan]

Kelly Ripa is an actress and plays a part, even on her talk show. Have you ever seen a talk show host having a bad day and being rude and mad?

Ripa may be acting out a character that LOVES George.


That said I agree with Greg, each of us notices attractiveness in others, that doesn't mean that we are going to dump our spouses for the other.

 

[Jessica & David]

I agree with angel dust.. I've been married to my husband for 2years, and even though we are still "newly" married.. I dont think crushes are healthy or acceptable by God in a marriage...
Jess <><

 

[thekawasakikid]

If it is a famous person, no harm done. If it is someone you know, friend or coworker that is entirely wrong. If you have those feelings while you ar emarried you should avoid that person like the plague and tell your spouse so he/she can keep you accountable.

Hmm - surely you're not suggesting that it's ok for me to lust after Drew Barrymore simply because she doesn't live next-door?

 

[ceres]

not lust... crush...

 

[ceres]

as in "that guy is good looking"

if my husband says "Kristin Kreuk is really pretty" i am not worried... if he says "Lisa(girl at his job) is really pretty" then it is a problem...

 

[thekawasakikid]

What's a crush, then? I think the point I was trying to make is that simply because there's a social/economic/geographical barrier preventing the relationship from becoming more than 'that guy is good looking' doesn't necessarily mean it's ok... in fact, I would've defined a crush as something more than an assertion that someone is good-looking or not. I make those judgements daily as I walk to/from work. Doesn't mean I had a crush on any of them...

 

[psycmajor]

Licking pictures? That's person's a freak, man.

 

[desi]

I think of a crush as sort of a one sided love affair which usually ends in disappointment. As such they are not for mature people in committed relationships who live in the reality of their love with another.