Cruise Virgin

[exitstageright]

Today,I just returned home from a seven night,Eastern Carribean Singles Cruise. There were over 400 singles in our group, which consisted of 183 women and over 200 men. The cruise went well for me until last night, the last night of the cruise. There were too many men. I would talk to a woman in our group. Another man in our group would sit beside us. The woman would leave with the other man.

One woman invited me to sit with her for dinner last night. After dinner,at 10:40 PM, she said that she had to go back to her cabin in order to set her lugguage out. She was to meet me outside of the theater at 11:00PM. Ironically, one of the songs that was sung at the show was, "Like A Virgin " by Madonna. I arrived at 10:50PM. At 11:30 PM, she still did not show up. I got stood up again.......naturally.

Later on,I saw my cabin-mate with a woman. He told me," S..... our cabin is going to be busy." I had planned to go to bed around 1:00 AM.I could not get into my cabin until after 3:00 AM,as I did not want to disturb them.

Now,intellectually, I realize that I cannot be EVERY woman's type. However,the emotional side of me asks the question," Why are these single women, ( who want to hook up with a single man) ignoring ME?" I am not ugly. Many men and women tell me that I have a lot going for me, that I have a good personality, and that I have a good sense of humor. Women tell me that they like the way I smell. One of the changes that I made was to start wearing the cologne, "Obsession for Men". I make $99,000 a year. I drive a Mercedes-Benz. Yet I cannot get a woman to pick me.

One lady in our group told me that five women at her table were complaining that none of the men wanted to hook up with them. Well......NO ONE ever approached ME! I have been on 16 cruises. Yet, NO woman has ever wanted to make out with me. No woman has ever wanted me to make love to her. I am a cruise virgin .......and..........
THIS SUCKS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now,I KNOW that I am not supposed to commit fornication. BUT....NO ONE is ever tempting me! What HURTS me the MOST is the fact that I am NOT being desired by ANYONE,and I am SICK and TIRED of all of this NONSENSE!!!

 

[chuck77]

Today,I just returned home from a seven night,Eastern Carribean Singles Cruise. There were over 400 singles in our group, which consisted of 183 women and over 200 men. The cruise went well for me until last night, the last night of the cruise. There were too many men. I would talk to a woman in our group. Another man in our group would sit beside us. The woman would leave with the other man.

One woman invited me to sit with her for dinner last night. After dinner,at 10:40 PM, she said that she had to go back to her cabin in order to set her lugguage out. She was to meet me outside of the theater at 11:00PM. Ironically, one of the songs that was sung at the show was, "Like A Virgin " by Madonna. I arrived at 10:50PM. At 11:30 PM, she still did not show up. I got stood up again.......naturally.

Later on,I saw my cabin-mate with a woman. He told me," S..... our cabin is going to be busy." I had planned to go to bed around 1:00 AM.I could not get into my cabin until after 3:00 AM,as I did not want to disturb them.

Now,intellectually, I realize that I cannot be EVERY woman's type. However,the emotional side of me asks the question," Why are these single women, ( who want to hook up with a single man) ignoring ME?" I am not ugly. Many men and women tell me that I have a lot going for me, that I have a good personality, and that I have a good sense of humor. Women tell me that they like the way I smell. One of the changes that I made was to start wearing the cologne, "Obsession for Men". I make $99,000 a year. I drive a Mercedes-Benz. Yet I cannot get a woman to pick me.

One lady in our group told me that five women at her table were complaining that none of the men wanted to hook up with them. Well......NO ONE ever approached ME! I have been on 16 cruises. Yet, NO woman has ever wanted to make out with me. No woman has ever wanted me to make love to her. I am a cruise virgin .......and..........
THIS SUCKS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now,I KNOW that I am not supposed to commit fornication. BUT....NO ONE is ever tempting me! What HURTS me the MOST is the fact that I am NOT being desired by ANYONE,and I am SICK and TIRED of all of this NONSENSE!!!

I always wanted to go on a cruise, just havn't yet. Im not sure it would be the best place for me to meet a woman. All those women and the temptation to fornicate is a bad mix.

Here are my thoughts. God is protecting you from making a mistake. That's why no women are approaching you. It's not you but a loving God hoping you start putting your trust in Him instead of your possesions, job, car etc etc...

Don't feel bad, feel loved. It's a good feeling to know God is on your side and when you start to realize that God has your best interests at heart you will feel liberated. It's not you or the women. It's God asking you to fully surrender yourself to Him. The sooner you do it the sooner you will meet that special one.

If that all sounds to spiritual for you after going on 16 cruises with no sniffs then by all means, continue what you are doing. If it sounds like it might be reasonable, then I pray God will comfort you and show you His will for your life.

 

[Run to Jesus]

I agree with Chuck77. I know what it is like when no man can see you or even approach you. I also know what it is like when a man to seems like you for a while and then finds someone else and marries her. Later on after having complained to God for a while I find out that those men were not right for me. The more I get to know my purpose the more I can pray and trust God for the right man to come along.

 

[dayhiker]

Exitstageright, I'd say the women are waiting for you to ask them. I'm guessing by day 2 or 3 you should pick one woman that shows you some interest and you have some interest in and start doing activities with her. Run the jogging deck, so to the shows together. Pick her up at her room.

 

[exitstageright]

I always wanted to go on a cruise, just havn't yet. Im not sure it would be the best place for me to meet a woman. All those women and the temptation to fornicate is a bad mix.

Here are my thoughts. God is protecting you from making a mistake. That's why no women are approaching you. It's not you but a loving God hoping you start putting your trust in Him instead of your possesions, job, car etc etc...

Don't feel bad, feel loved. It's a good feeling to know God is on your side and when you start to realize that God has your best interests at heart you will feel liberated. It's not you or the women. It's God asking you to fully surrender yourself to Him. The sooner you do it the sooner you will meet that special one.

If that all sounds to spiritual for you after going on 16 cruises with no sniffs then by all means, continue what you are doing. If it sounds like it might be reasonable, then I pray God will comfort you and show you His will for your life.

Well, I like to spend time with a woman who has a lot going for her. It is great to meet and to share time with someone who has the same passions as I have. I know at least that she likes to travel as I do. This singles cruise company was founded on the fact that many singles love to travel, however ,the cruise industry, just like other travel industries, cater to couples and families. Therefore, no single in our group would have to feel as if he or she was the "odd man out."

I was talking to a woman at the airport about this situation. She said that when women ask me what do I do for a living and what are my hobbies, and I share with them. These women may be imtimidated by that fact that I have such a rich and an interesting life. She told me that it is very rare that someone is a scientist and an actor such as myself. One lady in our singles group said that these women do not deserve me. She told me, " Don't worry S....... these women are not for you anyway. You will be lowering your standards by hooking up with them." Now, I DO NOT think that I am better than these women. I treat everyone the same.....with respect. When I am dancing with and spending time with these women at sea, I feel as if I am in another world, for example as in the play,"South Pacific." Since I do not drink, smoke,or take illeagal drugs, touching the soft and the smooth skin of a woman,and her touching me in return, is how I get high. Maybe I am just addicted to touch.

Maybe they leave with the other men because the other men tell them what they want to hear. I was on a cruise with my first wife. My first wife was not happy with me while on a vacation UNLESS her parents were with us. Therefore,there were FOUR people in our cabin. My wife and I,AND her parents,therefore,no sex. My Second wife and I were on a Cruise Trek cruise. We were cruising with some actors from Star Trek. One night,my wife almost got into a fight with one of the Star Trek actresess.My wife was in a bad mood during the rest of the cruise,therefore.....you got it....
.....NO SEX!

 

[exitstageright]

Exitstageright, I'd say the women are waiting for you to ask them. I'm guessing by day 2 or 3 you should pick one woman that shows you some interest and you have some interest in and start doing activities with her. Run the jogging deck, so to the shows together. Pick her up at her room.

Dayhiker,on THREE different occasions,I said to a woman in our group,
"I feel like taking a walk topside above the Lido Deck,would you like to join me?" Guess what? ALL three said,"NO!" I know that the lady who stood me up was interested in me. I just do not know why she flaked out on me.
You are so right. I should have followed her to her cabin to wait while she put her luggage out. I did not do this because I did NOT want to APPEAR too needy,too pushy,and too desperate. It seems either way..... I LOSE!

 

[exitstageright]

I always wanted to go on a cruise, just havn't yet. Im not sure it would be the best place for me to meet a woman. All those women and the temptation to fornicate is a bad mix.

Here are my thoughts. God is protecting you from making a mistake. That's why no women are approaching you. It's not you but a loving God hoping you start putting your trust in Him instead of your possesions, job, car etc etc...

Don't feel bad, feel loved. It's a good feeling to know God is on your side and when you start to realize that God has your best interests at heart you will feel liberated. It's not you or the women. It's God asking you to fully surrender yourself to Him. The sooner you do it the sooner you will meet that special one.

If that all sounds to spiritual for you after going on 16 cruises with no sniffs then by all means, continue what you are doing. If it sounds like it might be reasonable, then I pray God will comfort you and show you His will for your life.

Chuck,are you saying that God is keeping these women from approaching me? With my imagination,I think maybe there is an angel behind me, with a big SWORD, keeping these women away from me.

 

[dayhiker]

exit ... ya, here is where the old joke about how can a man understand a woman comes in. I just don't get it sometimes myself.

 

[singlewv2011]

This is a really interesting topic. It makes me think of "Millionaire Matchmaker", there are so many guys that have a lot going for them, but have problems meeting/interacting with women.

I don't know you, so feel free to completely disregard anything I have to say. But there are a few things that seem worthy of comment.

First, if you have been on that many cruises and have not been able to meet a woman, you are doing it wrong. It's that simple.

Second, I make a lot more money than you, and I have never had a woman be intimidated by my lifestyle or the "richness" of my status. I know you are searching for a 'reason', but that is not it.

Third, I don't know if God is protecting you from making a mistake, but He sure hasn't done that for me. I wish He HAD prevented my last several relationships, they were horrible.

I am not bashing you, it's just that sometimes the answer is closer than we want to believe. Thanks for posting this and being open, it's a great topic. I am very dysfunctional in my relationships so I am not judging you, at all.

To be fair, I can tell you exactly what would happen if I was on one of those cruises. I would end up with one of the youngest, hottest women there. I would compromise my Christian beliefs to please her. I would soon find that no matter how 'squared away' she appeared to be, she would be a nightmare and completely incapable of any real intimacy or emotional availability. And if historical patterns held true, I would let her rip out my heart four or five times before the pain would be enough to let go.

Sometimes it's better to be alone.

 

[dayhiker]

wow, wv ... I can't imagine being in your situation.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

Since we are not there we can't really be sure how you are coming across but maybe it is how you are decribing yourself. They may be attracted to you looks wise and then when they hear you talk about your life they change their minds? It happens.
I'd like to share something about my husband who passed. He didn't make alot of money and worked construction most of his life. We moved to WA after his dad died because our best friends had moved there and I was able to secure a job there. He, on the other hand did not have a job at first. So for awhile he worked at Domino's Pizza which was a BIG step down from any previous employment. But he had done alot in his lifetime, by that time. He had been in the service, been to jail, was a bow hunter, done alot of fishing, hiking, camping. Was a great oil painter. Played excellent guitar (later he became the most popular guitar teacher in our little town of Poulsbo). Anyway as he was getting to know the other guys he worked with, they would share stories. After I had my first son (he already had 3 previous children) one of the guys at his work's wife ended up being my son's caregiver. So anyway we had this little get together and we were all chatting and Mark (the guy my husband worked with) says "you know what? when I first met you I thought you were full of sh##. You always talked like you had been everywhere and done everything and I just didn't believe you. But NOW after getting to know you, I realized that you really DID do all those things".
So the point of me telling you this is because you made a comment that people find it hard to believe you are a scientist AND and actor, not to mention you have traveled probably all over the world. So maybe that's it? My suggestion would be to give smaller nuggets of who you are and what you do UNTIL you get to know the woman better and she can believe you really ARE all those things. Does that make sense? I mean pick one of your professions, like say you are an actor, but don't mention the scientist part, or vise versa. And they don't really want ALL the details up front. Part of the fun of developing a relationship is discovery. Like WOW I didn't know he was a scientist TOO! I didn't realize HOW MUCH he's traveled! And at least for me, I would not be impressed by what someone makes (or doesn't make) or what kind of car they drive or how often they have traveled because for all I know his rich grandma could have paid for his travels, and his mercedes could be just a leased car, and they could always be lying about what they make and for ME that's not a deciding factor (the income). Just some food for thought.

 

[exitstageright]

This is a really interesting topic. It makes me think of "Millionaire Matchmaker", there are so many guys that have a lot going for them, but have problems meeting/interacting with women.

I don't know you, so feel free to completely disregard anything I have to say. But there are a few things that seem worthy of comment.

First, if you have been on that many cruises and have not been able to meet a woman, you are doing it wrong. It's that simple.

Second, I make a lot more money than you, and I have never had a woman be intimidated by my lifestyle or the "richness" of my status. I know you are searching for a 'reason', but that is not it.

Third, I don't know if God is protecting you from making a mistake, but He sure hasn't done that for me. I wish He HAD prevented my last several relationships, they were horrible.

I am not bashing you, it's just that sometimes the answer is closer than we want to believe. Thanks for posting this and being open, it's a great topic. I am very dysfunctional in my relationships so I am not judging you, at all.

To be fair, I can tell you exactly what would happen if I was on one of those cruises. I would end up with one of the youngest, hottest women there. I would compromise my Christian beliefs to please her. I would soon find that no matter how 'squared away' she appeared to be, she would be a nightmare and completely incapable of any real intimacy or emotional availability. And if historical patterns held true, I would let her rip out my heart four or five times before the pain would be enough to let go.

Sometimes it's better to be alone.

Thank you for your frank,and straight foward observations. I was NOT offeneded by anything you wrote. I have had many successes in my life. I just wonder why can't I have success in the area of romance. Even in this bad economy, while unemployed, it is a lot easier for me to get a job than to get a woman friend/lover. You do not like all of the attention, while I CRAVE attention. One man's poison is indeed another man's treasure.

 

[exitstageright]

Since we are not there we can't really be sure how you are coming across but maybe it is how you are decribing yourself. They may be attracted to you looks wise and then when they hear you talk about your life they change their minds? It happens.
I'd like to share something about my husband who passed. He didn't make alot of money and worked construction most of his life. We moved to WA after his dad died because our best friends had moved there and I was able to secure a job there. He, on the other hand did not have a job at first. So for awhile he worked at Domino's Pizza which was a BIG step down from any previous employment. But he had done alot in his lifetime, by that time. He had been in the service, been to jail, was a bow hunter, done alot of fishing, hiking, camping. Was a great oil painter. Played excellent guitar (later he became the most popular guitar teacher in our little town of Poulsbo). Anyway as he was getting to know the other guys he worked with, they would share stories. After I had my first son (he already had 3 previous children) one of the guys at his work's wife ended up being my son's caregiver. So anyway we had this little get together and we were all chatting and Mark (the guy my husband worked with) says "you know what? when I first met you I thought you were full of sh##. You always talked like you had been everywhere and done everything and I just didn't believe you. But NOW after getting to know you, I realized that you really DID do all those things".
So the point of me telling you this is because you made a comment that people find it hard to believe you are a scientist AND and actor, not to mention you have traveled probably all over the world. So maybe that's it? My suggestion would be to give smaller nuggets of who you are and what you do UNTIL you get to know the woman better and she can believe you really ARE all those things. Does that make sense? I mean pick one of your professions, like say you are an actor, but don't mention the scientist part, or vise versa. And they don't really want ALL the details up front. Part of the fun of developing a relationship is discovery. Like WOW I didn't know he was a scientist TOO! I didn't realize HOW MUCH he's traveled! And at least for me, I would not be impressed by what someone makes (or doesn't make) or what kind of car they drive or how often they have traveled because for all I know his rich grandma could have paid for his travels, and his mercedes could be just a leased car, and they could always be lying about what they make and for ME that's not a deciding factor (the income). Just some food for thought.

Thanks for the imput. I NEVER once thought that someone could be thinking that I was LYING. Case in point, when I went fishing in Mexico, I caught a 6'8" marlin fish that wieghed 106 pounds. I took a picture of me and the fish. While I was waiting for the blow up picture to develop (this was in 1991,no digital cameras), I told my co-workers. One friend said that one co-worker did not believe me. Well, another co-worker said, " If S... said that he caught a big fish, then,he CAUGHT a big fish!" You see, that says a lot about my credibilty. People who know me ,KNOW that I do not go around telling lies. The picture came out clear and well. There was NO doubt that I was telling the truth. I try to tell the truth for two big reasons. One, one day I might run for public office. The more people that know about my credibilty,the better. Two, I have neve seen an UFO (Unidentied Flying Object). IF I DO see one, people will believe me.
By the way, I have recieved e-mails from the women that I interacted with on my cruise. They ALL said essentilally the SAME thing. They said that I am a NICE guy (If I hear another woman tell me that, I am going to vomit, women must think that I am some kind of "goody two shoes" because I do not drink),it was great cruising with me,and that some nice lady will find me.
Therefore,I made up this short poem today:

I'll say it again
they (women) treat me like a brother
I am EVERYBODY's friend
But NOBODY"S lover

 

[dayhiker]

I don't drink either. There is that thing sometimes about women wanting a bad boy. So maybe pick something that gives a little bad boy look and try that on the next cruise. Sounds like your drug free as well, so many a few sexy remarks would do it.

 

[singlewv2011]

Thank you for your frank,and straight foward observations. I was NOT offeneded by anything you wrote. I have had many successes in my life. I just wonder why can't I have success in the area of romance. Even in this bad economy, while unemployed, it is a lot easier for me to get a job than to get a woman friend/lover. You do not like all of the attention, while I CRAVE attention. One man's poison is indeed another man's treasure.

Good, I tried really hard not to be offensive.

We are much more alike than you assume, I cannot attract quality, stable women either. It's very frustrating, if I have an immediate, deep, spiritual connection with someone it's always BAD, lol. I am believing that as I continue with my counseling and recovery meetings (Al Anon and Celebrate Recovery -- Codependency) that I will be able to attract women who aren't in crisis or hopelessly broken.

 

[Life2Christ]

I'll say it again
they (women) treat me like a brother
I am EVERYBODY's friend
But NOBODY"S lover

The best thing I can tell you is: you are not alone. My best friend (who is a man of 38 years old) has never even had a girlfriend. He's a godly person too. He happens to live in a very shallow area of NY and girls are just not that into him. He is actually financially independent and owns his own home in a top rated school district. But he wants a girl to like him for him. He wants to find someone so badly. I know 3 other single people in my life who are in the same boat. You are definitely not alone.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

Just for the record Exit, I did not, or do not think you are lying, just so we get that straight. I'm just sayin sometimes less is more and for a different approach try laying out one card at a time instead of saying "Gin!" at your first turn, if you get what I'm saying. Also maybe consider that all of us have issues in life, and maybe you being "all that AND a bag of chips" is too much for the ladies that might have some issues in their lives. I'm not talking about serious issues, just that they might not have it all together as you appear to (and I'm sure you do, for reals).
And on another note, I just had another thought. I remember when I was young and single and some of my guy friends would comment about girls with "hungry eyes" and how they could spot them. Maybe on a sub conscious level women are sensing your overwhelming desire to find a woman and it is actually making them want to run for the hills, so to speak. If only you could get to the point where you say (and really feel) that you no longer WANT a woman, you would probably meet one at that time. That's what happened to me when I met my husband. I was in a relationship with the love of my life. He decided he didn't love me enough, so he found and married another girl within 8 months of our breakup. I had dated some really fine guys that I really really liked, but the feeling obviously wasn't mutual. So after 2 years of that, I said to myself, "you know what? I don't even WANT a relationship!" And I really meant it! And the next thing you know I meet my husband, we become friends first (cuz he just got dumped by his wife and I needed to make sure he didn't want her back and there were kids (his) involved. And then HE told me he loved me after only about 2 months of dating and WE were married 8 months after we met and stayed married for almost 25 years until he passed away in 2005. And when he told me he loved me, it scared me to death cuz it had never happened that way before. I had to really pray about it and God gave me the mutual feelings and the rest is history.
If you really are the guy you portray yourself to be here online, you will find someone, but it will be in God's timing, not yours. But try the less is more approach. Not every chick would think you were lying, but some might think you are and others might think you are a braggart and others might think you are too full of yourself. Since I'm not there and not one of the women in question I can't really tell for sure.

 

[exitstageright]

Just for the record Exit, I did not, or do not think you are lying, just so we get that straight. I'm just sayin sometimes less is more and for a different approach try laying out one card at a time instead of saying "Gin!" at your first turn, if you get what I'm saying. Also maybe consider that all of us have issues in life, and maybe you being "all that AND a bag of chips" is too much for the ladies that might have some issues in their lives. I'm not talking about serious issues, just that they might not have it all together as you appear to (and I'm sure you do, for reals).
And on another note, I just had another thought. I remember when I was young and single and some of my guy friends would comment about girls with "hungry eyes" and how they could spot them. Maybe on a sub conscious level women are sensing your overwhelming desire to find a woman and it is actually making them want to run for the hills, so to speak. If only you could get to the point where you say (and really feel) that you no longer WANT a woman, you would probably meet one at that time. That's what happened to me when I met my husband. I was in a relationship with the love of my life. He decided he didn't love me enough, so he found and married another girl within 8 months of our breakup. I had dated some really fine guys that I really really liked, but the feeling obviously wasn't mutual. So after 2 years of that, I said to myself, "you know what? I don't even WANT a relationship!" And I really meant it! And the next thing you know I meet my husband, we become friends first (cuz he just got dumped by his wife and I needed to make sure he didn't want her back and there were kids (his) involved. And then HE told me he loved me after only about 2 months of dating and WE were married 8 months after we met and stayed married for almost 25 years until he passed away in 2005. And when he told me he loved me, it scared me to death cuz it had never happened that way before. I had to really pray about it and God gave me the mutual feelings and the rest is history.
If you really are the guy you portray yourself to be here online, you will find someone, but it will be in God's timing, not yours. But try the less is more approach. Not every chick would think you were lying, but some might think you are and others might think you are a braggart and others might think you are too full of yourself. Since I'm not there and not one of the women in question I can't really tell for sure.

You give sound advice and I thank you. The part about the "hungry eyes" is true. Once a co-worker offered me some food. I said," No,thanks".
She said," I KNOW you want some. I can see it in your eye!"
When I am not acting, while just being myself, I guess that I cannot look as if I am not interested in her. Maybe that is why I never learned how to play poker. My eyes would give my hand away.

I thank GOD for a good life. However, having a wonderful woman as a companion would be the "icing on the cake". Since I am a diabetic, this is the only "icing" that I can have.

 

[iambren]

Something's a miss. You cannot be all THAT and be that lonely. Think harder. If you were in that group of women what negative about yourself do YOU think is turning them away?

 

[exitstageright]

Something's a miss. You cannot be all THAT and be that lonely. Think harder. If you were in that group of women what negative about yourself do YOU think is turning them away?

I have NO clue. If I DID,I would change it in a nanosecond.

Did you see my response to Michelle? Maybe ,just maybe my eyes have this desperate look to them that causes women to run away.

One time at a party,I met a woman. She never hear me speak before.She did not know anything about me. I never met her before. She asked me," You have been hurt before,have you?"
I was doumbfounded. I thought," HOW in the world did she know THAT?"

On Facebook,many women have posted and told me that they enjoyed cruising with me, that I am a good dancer, that I am fun to be around, the men tell me that I am one of the coolest guys they have ever met, and the women have told me that a nice lady will someday cross my path. The clincher is,of course,is when the women tell me that I am a nice man.


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