Amen Erinm! I love Joshua Harris. His books are great. I finished Boy Meets Girl in one night.
Zilah, let me give you a few hints.
1. Pray. Earnestly pray and seek God's will. I know this may seem silly or unrealistic, but ask God if this is a girl you would spend your life with? If not, then don't start it. If you don't think there will be a marriage then you're entering a relationship with an expiration date.
2. Go to the girl's father and ask permission to court her. Don't go to her first. Allow her father (if he's a Christian) to pray over it and make sure you're someone worthy of dating his daughter. Not saying that you aren't, but parents can see attributes in a potential mate that they know won't be good for their child.
3. Once the father has given you permission he should ask his daughter how she feels. If she accepts your offer to court then ask her yourself and then pray together.
4. Balance your time equally during the courtship between alone time, time with friends, time at church, and time with family. It's at this stage in the game you'll want to involve others around you.
5. Talk to your pastor or an elder Christian mentor and let them know of your decision and ask them to hold you accountable.
6. Set boundaries (i.e., no kissing, no holding hands, etc) and stick with them. Remember, courtship isn't about intimacy, it's about developing a Christ-centered friendship in hopes of determining if this person is God's chosen for your life.
7. Don't move to quickly. It takes up to a year to get to know whether or not you two could be husband and wife. Don't let the rose tinted glasses of romantic feelings cloud your God given wisdom. See how she treats her family, members of the church, friends, and children. Do her actions exemplify a Godly, Proverbs woman?
8. Take the time to know one another in settings where you won't be tempted to stumble sexually. It's best, especially in the beginning, to refrain from being alone at night, alone in the car for extended periods of time, and spending time in each other's bedrooms or at your apartment, etc.
Remember, these can be exciting times if you follow God's plan for Christian Courtship. I pray that you will be immensely blessed.
