Couple Friends

[blythe_ann]

Not looking for advice, just wondering...
do you have couple friends? Other married people that you have double dates with and share common interests with? Do you think they are important?

When we were two years into our marriage I was working with this great girl. She and I got a long really well and we spent sometime outside of work together. I considered her, at the time, to be my best friend. Eventually, we started double dating, and miraculously, our husbands got along. It was great and I thoroughly enjoyed having someone to do things with that shared common interests and goals (we liked the same things and we were both very protective of our marriages, it was a win win). Then we moved away.

I tried to keep in touch with my old friend, calling, emailing, sending letters, but honestly, I think she was done with me. So, I stopped contacting her, letting her know that I would be around, I just would stop bugging her.

Anyway, while the move has been very good for us, we haven't made any couple friends. We basically stick to home and ourselves. We tried to make friends with another young couple at church, but we were SO opposite it didn't work. They were competitive, we are not. They had known each other less than a year, we have been together for years. no common interests. We would invite them places, they would invite us, and eventually, they stopped inviting completely, and we decided we would too. They are a nice couple, we just couldn't carry a conversation with them.

We tried to make friendships in older couples, but most of them were either too busy or didn't want to give us the time of day.

I'm not saying we are or were desperately trying to find some couple friends, but with our last experience we really enjoying knowing a couple that we could both get along with, and who we thought got along well with us.

Thoughts?

 

[realtruth101]

do you have couple friends? Other married people that you have double dates with and share common interests with? Do you think they are important?

When we were two years into our marriage I was working with this great girl. She and I got a long really well and we spent sometime outside of work together. I considered her, at the time, to be my best friend. Eventually, we started double dating, and miraculously, our husbands got along. It was great and I thoroughly enjoyed having someone to do things with that shared common interests and goals (we liked the same things and we were both very protective of our marriages, it was a win win). Then we moved away.

I tried to keep in touch with my old friend, calling, emailing, sending letters, but honestly, I think she was done with me. So, I stopped contacting her, letting her know that I would be around, I just would stop bugging her.

Anyway, while the move has been very good for us, we haven't made any couple friends. We basically stick to home and ourselves. We tried to make friends with another young couple at church, but we were SO opposite it didn't work. They were competitive, we are not. They had known each other less than a year, we have been together for years. no common interests. We would invite them places, they would invite us, and eventually, they stopped inviting completely, and we decided we would too. They are a nice couple, we just couldn't carry a conversation with them.

We tried to make friendships in older couples, but most of them were either too busy or didn't want to give us the time of day.

I'm not saying we are or were desperately trying to find some couple friends, but with our last experience we really enjoying knowing a couple that we could both get along with, and who we thought got along well with us.

Thoughts?

go do the things you and your husband enjoy, Its highly likely while doing those things you will meet other couples that like doing them too.....wala! your problem is solved

 

[wpage]

Sometimes its just best to enjoy each others company!

Pray together and stay together.

 

[blythe_ann]

Yeah, we do the things we enjoy, most of them are at home. We love movies too (not a meet people arena, really). Just not a lot of people interested in the things we are around here. Like I said, not really trying to find friends, just wondering if other people had couple friends and such.

OP edited. Not looking for advice, really, just wanting answers to the original questions.

 

[waxlion10]

We have two couple friends, both of whom live a few hours from us. We enjoy visiting them and playing board games, shooting hoops, watching movies, talking about the Lord, recording silly videos, playing tag, cooking...just doing things together

We have known these couples, though, since high school, so it's been easy to stay friends as we've grown up and gotten married. We haven't met any "new" couple friends, though I suspect we could through church if we really got plugged into church here.

 

[Mrs. Luther073082]

We went out with my friend from highschool and her husband earlier this year. We got along and they invited us to their superbowl party, but we were both sick. We haven't had an opportunity to hang out again due to our schedules. I'm not sure it will develop into much. We also hang out with Kirk's family a lot -- his parents, his brothers and their GF's, cousins, aunts and uncles, etc.

 

[Mrs. Luther073082]

Also, while we're on this subject -- I am curious if those who have children think it is easier to find couple friends once you have kids. I'm just thinking it there would be more opportunities available but it may be a more annoying process (if your children have friends but you don't like their parents or whatnot).

 

[FaithPrevails]

Hubby and I hadn't made any couple friends up until recently. It's difficult to find both a husband and a wife that we both get along with and I have found this to be a common problem.

But, a good friend of mine just moved back to the area recently and she is remarried now just like I am (we were both unmarried when we hung out previously, although she was dating her now-husband). We got together with them and everyone gets along splendidly. They have 3 kids, we have 3 kids - and they all get along well. Plus, they are a really strong (albeit new) Christian couple. We have invited them to check out the church we have been attending with us.

Also, while we're on this subject -- I am curious if those who have children think it is easier to find couple friends once you have kids. I'm just thinking it there would be more opportunities available but it may be a more annoying process (if your children have friends but you don't like their parents or whatnot).

You have more opportunities through your kids, but the same issue of everyone getting along remains. Plus, now you have to compare parenting styles and children's behavior to see if you are all compatible in that area, as well. For instance - I have a good friend and my hubby gets on with her hubby, but their kids are bonkers and they parent nothing like we do. So, it's stressful to hang out with them with the kids - in fact, my husband said he would never do it again after one particularly awful outing with their kids. I couldn't blame him...they were totally off the chain.

 

[JaneFW]

We have had couple friends, but it's kind of a loose arrangement. We had some people we thought were our very good friends, but something weird happened - I don't know why or how or what, so okay. <brave smile>

It's definitely easier if you are at the same kind of age, income and child level. All of our friends have kids and they are fairly similar to our kids' ages.

 

[Created2Write]

Jason and I have very few couple friends. His best friend is getting married this summer, and we both get along with them which is nice, but they aren't Christians. Jason and I have tried to make friends with married couples our age, but for some reason, nothing ever lasts or develops. I don't know what it is.

 

[Mrs. Luther073082]

My parents seem to be good at the couple friends thing. They have friends from church, work, kids (they've stayed friends with the parents of my brother and my friends), etc. I am curious about the friends from work thing. I feel like that would be overstepping a boundary to hang out with someone from work outside of work.

 

[blythe_ann]

Jason and I have very few couple friends. His best friend is getting married this summer, and we both get along with them which is nice, but they aren't Christians. Jason and I have tried to make friends with married couples our age, but for some reason, nothing ever lasts or develops. I don't know what it is.

It must be our generation or something. No one our age keeps friendships long, it seems. It's a bummer.


Thanks for the responses so far!

 

[FreeInChrist88]

Also, while we're on this subject -- I am curious if those who have children think it is easier to find couple friends once you have kids. I'm just thinking it there would be more opportunities available but it may be a more annoying process (if your children have friends but you don't like their parents or whatnot).

Having spent the past 28 years raising kids, we didn't find that kids necessarily made it easier to find other couple friends. Certainly there are more opportunities to meet other parents through school, sports, church, etc. But unless you as a couple "click" with another couple, it doesn't matter how many other couples you meet.

Relationships also take a lot of work. Along with having common interests, you have to build trust and you have to work at keeping in touch. As busy parents, that's not always easy to do.

 

[Mrs. Luther073082]

It must be our generation or something. No one our age keeps friendships long, it seems. It's a bummer.


Thanks for the responses so far!

Yeah... don't know what it is... my parents have tons of couple friends they've made through work, church, and from the parents of my brother and my friends while we were growing up. They make it look easy. AND they moved all the time yet still have kept those friendships over the years.

 

[Created2Write]

My parents have made friends that they've kept, but not very many. Then again, my parents are pretty strange. rofl. DH's parents are the same. I guess we got too large a dosage of "strange" from both of our parents. *shrug* Who knows.

 

[blythe_ann]

My parents don't have couple friends, but my dad has kept his college friends and their wives have joined the club. They visit once a year or so. I don't have any college friends left, and high school I only keep in touch with through facebook. Maybe it has something to do with our networking. We all have a ton of "friends" but no real friends? Who knows what it is.
My parents are quirky, too, c2w, so maybe our parents generation just passed down to much unique weirdness to us all, lol.

 

[k450ofu3k-gh-5ipe]

Similar story here. We've tried to make friends with other couples our age but it just doesn't seem to work out.

 

[Manda_24]

My husband and I are in the 20's class at church, though most of the people are or are nearly in their 30's with at least one kid. I would love to have another couple to do something with every once in a while but it seems that everyone already has their friends.
We've tried but nothing really seems to happen.

 

[BigDaddy4]

My parents have a few couple friends they have hung out with since high school (they just had their 50th HS reunion, too). Most of them were high school sweethearts, so maybe that has something to do with it being a generational thing?? Both my wife and I hardly see people from our high schools.

We don't have any "couple" friends per se. We have a Bible study group with 2 other couples, plus a single mom, but we really don't hang out with them other than that. We used to have a couple that we did some things with, but they moved about an hour away and we don't see them but once or twice a year.

As for the kids thing, we have 4 boys in sports and I think it's difficult when you have so much going on that you don't have much time otherwise to be sociable. You tend to enjoy the quiet nights home alone I guess.

Just my $.02 worth...

 

[Religious Crisis]

I would say that we have 2 couples that we hang out with, they are both a lot of fun. I have always wondered how having children would change things.