Could someone please reassure me...

[Rosa Mystica]

...that I'm not a waste of skin? My father told me I was this several times today (in different words), b/c I am moving out next month as opposed to getting my second degree this year and living in his House from Hell. My priority is getting away from this toxic environment, not going into debt for a piece of paper that won't guarantee me a job. I think I'm courageous, but this positive thought is weak b/c my family's abuse/manipulation is stronger.

PLEASE HELP.

 

[HoosierCanuck]

You're not a waste of skin. Moving out is not a horrible thing. I left a 'toxic environment' when I was 20. I didn't do things according to my 'parents' plan for my life' either and in some ways I'm not better off (financially) but in other ways (mentally) I am stronger. I take a great deal of satisfaction knowing that I did it on my own. I'm assuming you are a woman of faith and with that in mind, just have faith that God will provide and lead you to the right home, job, educational opportunities, etc.. I know I've whined on other boards about various issues but I have to admit in my life I have seen God work in this area and I am very thankful. You do NOT need to live in a home full of mental/emotional abuse.

Peace and God Bless,
HC

 

[fishstix]

You're not a waste of skin. Read Psalm 139 Especially verse 14. That Psalm is especially for you, Rosa Mystica. You were fearfully and wonderfully made. And no matter where you go or what you do, nothing will change that fact.

 

[Mr.Cheese]

Good grief. You're 22 and have a degree.
I'm 31 and just got mine. I've dropped out of 3 universities and became a mechanic, the bane of occupational existence, before finally finishing my degree.
You're not a waste of skin. Your dad is just an idiot.
He should have had me instead of you. At least then he'd have something to complain about.
*hug*

 

[Gabriel]

You're not a waste of skin. Read Psalm 139 Especially verse 14. That Psalm is especially for you, Rosa Mystica. You were fearfully and wonderfully made. And no matter where you go or what you do, nothing will change that fact.

Ditto this. God created you in His image. He gave you an identitiy that is unique. He chose you to be His child and sent His Son to die so that you may live. You are not perfect, no one is. But you are loved and important and God has a plan for you.

I also agree with Cheese when he said so eloquently, "You're not a waste of skin. Your dad is just an idiot."

Respect, honor and love your father as you are commanded to. Pray for him. Work hard to be the woman God has raised you up to be. And be very, very careful that you do not allow your father's abuse to lead you to assume that you deserve to be treated this way. Many girls grow up to marry men just like their father. Don't fall into this trap. If the man you fall in love with does not respect you and treat you like a daughter of The King (you are a princess, ya know) then you need to look keep looking.

 

[sowellfan]

You're a good person, and your dad needs a kick in the nads for talking to you like that. I'm glad things are working out for you to finally get out of there. It might be scary, but I bet you'll feel great that first night you sleep in your new place.

BTW, sorry my wife & I haven't been around much lately - it's been a chaotic few months.

 

[Rosa Mystica]

Respect, honor and love your father as you are commanded to. Pray for him. Work hard to be the woman God has raised you up to be. And be very, very careful that you do not allow your father's abuse to lead you to assume that you deserve to be treated this way. Many girls grow up to marry men just like their father. Don't fall into this trap. If the man you fall in love with does not respect you and treat you like a daughter of The King (you are a princess, ya know) then you need to look keep looking.

You needn't worry about me in this regard, Gabriel. My s.o. treats me like gold (we just started going out), and is trying his best to help me develop a positive self-image. Believe me, I know that abuse is not love. I'd rather end up alone than abused.

 

[LynneClomina]

GOOD FOR YOU, Rosa!!!!!



you can do it. stick with it.

 

[pegatha]

You're 22, you have a degree, you're ready to be self-supporting financially, and you can recognize and remove yourself from an emotionally unhealthy situation. Good grief girl, you're not a waste of skin, you're a role model!

 

[Mr.Cheese]

It always comes down to dad. No one can relpace that...sometimes this is unfortunate. But he has the greatest influence for better or worse. Telling your SO this may help save him some sanity and help him understand.

Sometimes parents notice everything but the good things.
If I have a girl and she graduates at 22, I'll praise God for the miracle.
Your dad is a fortunate man. I wish he would see that for himself.

 

[Rosa Mystica]

It always comes down to dad. No one can relpace that...sometimes this is unfortunate. But he has the greatest influence for better or worse. Telling your SO this may help save him some sanity and help him understand.

He knows this, Mr. Cheese. He's reminded me of this himself (My s.o.). He says that when he meets my father, he's gonna have to restrain himself from slapping him (he won't really do it though, he's a passive guy).

 

[Pink Angel]

Your not a waste of skin...God made you for a reason, you may not know it yet but i will reveal it to you. I had a very verbaly abusive dad too, he told me probably what your dad is telling you....it is hard i know...if you need to talk i have aim...look in my profile you will find it. May God be with you and i am praying for you!

Pink Angel

 

[Adrianl]

...that I'm not a waste of skin? My father told me I was this several times today (in different words), b/c I am moving out next month as opposed to getting my second degree this year and living in his House from Hell. My priority is getting away from this toxic environment, not going into debt for a piece of paper that won't guarantee me a job. I think I'm courageous, but this positive thought is weak b/c my family's abuse/manipulation is stronger.

PLEASE HELP.

your not a waste of skin God loves you just the way you are remember God loves you more than anything else and he will never leave you or forsake you.you are precious in his eyes.i am going to pray for you.dear Jesus please comfort rosa place your loving arms around her and let her know you will never leave her or forsake her right now Jesus i plead the blood over her life take away all of her hurt and pain and let her now she is loved and cherished just show her healing Jesus and make her a new person i ask all these things in your precious holy name amen

 

[Beauty4Ashes]

Isaiah 43:4
"Since you are precious and honored in my sight,
and because I love you,
I will give men in exchange for you,
and people in exchange for your life."
You are precious. God made you just who you are for a reason and the skin wrapped around your body is just a wrapping of the priceless gift that your life is. God loves you and so do we
As you know I've had to remove myself (Well really God did it) from a very toxic situation at home as well with my mom. The only reason I stayed at home as long as I did was because I couldnt afford to move out as well as work and pay my way through school for two years to get my degree. I know where you are coming from. It's hard but God will see you through it and though he doesn't always calm the storm, he can calm his child.

Love your sister in Christ
B4A

 

[urbanfaerie]

sometimes parents suck.

ur not a waste of skin. don't let his words get u down.

 

[cyberwing]

's and more 's Rosa. I'm so sorry you have had this to deal with. Unfortunately you are not alone. First sweetie, you are unique and precious to your TRUE Father, your Creator. He tells you to honor your father not to be a doormat! Rosa, hateful hurtful words come from hurting people. Your father must be hurting very badly to say such a hideous thing. Forgive him but yes, move on with your life dear one! JESUS loves you, HE has the path for you. Not your father.
If your father has abdicated his role as father you have another father. God says HE becomes the father to the fatherless!! That doesn't just mean orphans! God admonishes fathers not to provoke their children to wrath!! He doesn't like it when HIS children are mistreated, period.
Rosa, try to forgive your dad and love him inspite of his own failings. That releases you from the bitterness of offense which can destroy your life. So don't let him do that to you. You will grow more beautiful as you let go of bitterness. Beauty for ashes as the Word says....
Rosa, we are all here for you. You must know in your heart JESUS was saying, "THAT IS NOT TRUE!!! YOU DO NOT KNOW MY PRECIOUS ONE, IF YOU CAN SAY SUCH A THING!" JESUS loves you Rosa. So do we! 's
~Cyberwing

 

[Rosa Mystica]

Thank you, guys. You're all such a blessing to me.

 

[alaurie]

Not a waste of skin, Rosa, but fearfully and wonderfully made! I'm so glad you're making this move and I pray that your dad will someday soften his heart. If not, your Father in heaven tells us in his word that he knows and loves you to the point of counting every hair of your head!

You've been such a joy to get to know. I'm thankful you've found a supportive boyfriend and hope God has many loving, affirming people on the road ahead to show you how much he delights in you.

Love you,
Allye

 

[desi]

Rosa, you are a 22 year old with a college degree. Quite an enviable position compared to many of your, and my, peers. If your father doesn't see that, he is ignorant or blind. Move out and move on Rosa. I pray for God to be with you in whatever you do.

desi