B
Brilliance
Guest
Hello,
I suppose I'll start my introduction by saying that I'm more than a little bit lost in my religious life right now. Despite being brought up a christian, I'm surrounded by people and outside influences which are decidedly not Christian. The majority of my friends and family are not Christian. I probably haven't read a book that even mentions religion in the past three or four years. I don't go to church on Sunday, and quite frankly I don't even pray anymore.
But today after work I was watching a 'drug culture' documentary on TV when I was hit in the face with the fact that our society as a whole is just falling apart at the seams. Depression is up, the economy is down, and our moral convictions are no longer there. We've fallen into a habit of sin and hate, and I quite frankly am becoming disillusioned with the entire human race. I feel like ranting at the absolute and utter stupidity which people display on a daily basis but I know that as it is my voice won't be heard. I hate watching people on TV talk about religion and God as if it's the most stupid thing in the world when in my heart I KNOW that there is something out there so much bigger than me. But despite all this, I don't have enough friends who have the same beliefs of me. I don't have enough connections to people who grew up with a strong faith in that 'something bigger'. I sure as hell don't have a strong enough personality to make that change that is so obviously needed.
But most of all I don't have the internal support from God that I know is necessary to make a difference in my life and the lives of others.
Although I know in my head that I don't have that internal support, I can't just force myself to change anything about the way I live. I'm following the same routine and to be honest routines are like addictions -- once you're on them, breaking free is nearly impossible. I need help and I'm acknowledging that now: and that is the reason that I'm here on this forum. I want to be held accountable, and I want a daily reminder that I'm not alone out there. I want somebody to set me back on course to the right life so I can do what I can to change things.
So my question for you is: can you help me?
I suppose I'll start my introduction by saying that I'm more than a little bit lost in my religious life right now. Despite being brought up a christian, I'm surrounded by people and outside influences which are decidedly not Christian. The majority of my friends and family are not Christian. I probably haven't read a book that even mentions religion in the past three or four years. I don't go to church on Sunday, and quite frankly I don't even pray anymore.
But today after work I was watching a 'drug culture' documentary on TV when I was hit in the face with the fact that our society as a whole is just falling apart at the seams. Depression is up, the economy is down, and our moral convictions are no longer there. We've fallen into a habit of sin and hate, and I quite frankly am becoming disillusioned with the entire human race. I feel like ranting at the absolute and utter stupidity which people display on a daily basis but I know that as it is my voice won't be heard. I hate watching people on TV talk about religion and God as if it's the most stupid thing in the world when in my heart I KNOW that there is something out there so much bigger than me. But despite all this, I don't have enough friends who have the same beliefs of me. I don't have enough connections to people who grew up with a strong faith in that 'something bigger'. I sure as hell don't have a strong enough personality to make that change that is so obviously needed.
But most of all I don't have the internal support from God that I know is necessary to make a difference in my life and the lives of others.
Although I know in my head that I don't have that internal support, I can't just force myself to change anything about the way I live. I'm following the same routine and to be honest routines are like addictions -- once you're on them, breaking free is nearly impossible. I need help and I'm acknowledging that now: and that is the reason that I'm here on this forum. I want to be held accountable, and I want a daily reminder that I'm not alone out there. I want somebody to set me back on course to the right life so I can do what I can to change things.
So my question for you is: can you help me?