Coping with aloneness

[Juan777]

My previous relationship taught me that there is more to life than finding a partner. Society has conditioned us to think that finding Disney romance delivers self-fulfillment, personal freedom, and status stability only to be lead down the path of disappointment and personal suffering. It is truly shaping the mindset of the collective, as most people that are aware can see, influencing our behavior and the way we deal with everyday problems. We aren't growing up faster, as you may think, we are actually regressing.

It sounds like you got the red pill, but are not acting on that experience as its contrary to your beliefs and mindset cultivated by blue pill programming.

But did you deal with a true Christian lady, a so called Christian lady or non Christian lady? I guess you dont know who is true or not as everyone is in their best behaviour during courtship but when the honeymoon phase is over and things get hard its usually then you know what people are really made of and if they are really for you or a fake like everyone else.

 

[ThisIsMe123]

I found the suggestion of dating apps to be comical. What makes you think they would work? They only work with women and maybe very attractive guys but for the vast majority of guys its simply a waste of time, which if the OP was in either category, then he wouldn't be making such a thread in the first place.

That's why there's a meetup site that you get together in real time to do a hobby/activity focused event. Like the other day, I went hiking with a group of people and got to know some along the way.

You can do the same. Some real, face-to-face, organic meetings

 

[ThisIsMe123]

I gave up on it. I am also 27, and have not been involved in anything close to a relationship since 2016. I finally have decided to give up on the idea, and accept that I will never find anyone in life. It is in God's hands, and if He does not want me to join hands with a companion in life, so be it, for His glory alone. It may seem bitter at first, but when you become indifferent to it, you are free of such a burdensome pain in your heart.

You gave up on it, and you're only in your 20s? A little too early for that.

I mean, I can understand giving up maybe mid 30s and older, 40+ with a divorce under your belt, but 20s,...you're just gettin' started.

 

[ThisIsMe123]

Don't get hung-up on the definition of "dating" because that creates more mental blocks. The issue is you said you have poor social skills and friendships are difficult to make. If you are not able to form friendships then you are not able to date anyway since friendships are foundational while dating is more of what you are building on top.

Right, I think he's using his celibacy and choosing not to date as a crutch to lean on to what the real issue is...which is needing to work on social skills.

 

[RileyG]

Right, I think he's using his celibacy and choosing not to date as a crutch to lean on to what the real issue is...which is needing to work on social skills.

I choose to remain celibate period. I do not date for a specific reason, which I would not go into because that would be inappropriate to share here. I do need to work on my social skills and friendships. That's a more pressing issue right now.

 

[Juan777]

Right, I think he's using his celibacy and choosing not to date as a crutch to lean on to what the real issue is...which is needing to work on social skills.

Exactly. Someone choosing not to date implies they have an option to date in the first place.

 

[Juan777]

I choose to remain celibate period. I do not date for a specific reason, which I would not go into because that would be inappropriate to share here. I do need to work on my social skills and friendships. That's a more pressing issue right now.

Whatever you say dude. If you want friends you have to be less uptight and more of a cool person. Relax.

 

[timewerx]

I choose to remain celibate period. I do not date for a specific reason, which I would not go into because that would be inappropriate to share here. I do need to work on my social skills and friendships. That's a more pressing issue right now.

I suppose one way of having friends is having common interests. If you have zero common interests with the people around you. It would help to learn to like and even have fun in things other people find interesting and fun to do.

And because you are single, it's a lot easier to find friendship with other single people. If everyone around you is married or in a relationship, that will certainly make it harder to make friends. Hard but not impossible.

 

[RileyG]

I suppose one way of having friends is having common interests. If you have zero common interests with the people around you. It would help to learn to like and even have fun in things other people find interesting and fun to do.

And because you are single, it's a lot easier to find friendship with other single people. If everyone around you is married or in a relationship, that will certainly make it harder to make friends. Hard but not impossible.

Thank you

 

[Jonaitis]

You gave up on it, and you're only in your 20s? A little too early for that.

I mean, I can understand giving up maybe mid 30s and older, 40+ with a divorce under your belt, but 20s,...you're just gettin' started.

Ironically, our sermon today was about marriage and singleness, and a good portion of it was addressing young Christians in our congregation.

 

[Will Joseph]

I choose to remain celibate period. I do not date for a specific reason, which I would not go into because that would be inappropriate to share here. I do need to work on my social skills and friendships. That's a more pressing issue right now.

I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling to cope with aloneness. I myself struggle with that sometimes too. I am a celibate who has never dated as well. Some people may avoid us for our christian beliefs. I am okay with being alone rather than within the company of sinners.

 

[RileyG]

I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling to cope with aloneness. I myself struggle with that sometimes too. I am a celibate who has never dated as well. Some people may avoid us for our christian beliefs. I am okay with being alone rather than within the company of sinners.

Thank you for your kind words.

 

[timewerx]

I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling to cope with aloneness. I myself struggle with that sometimes too. I am a celibate who has never dated as well. Some people may avoid us for our christian beliefs. I am okay with being alone rather than within the company of sinners.

Eventually, as time passes, you may find the right one for you. Of course it's also possible you may never find that person.

It's true it's better to be alone than in the company of sinners. Quality vs quantity.

It's a big problem in Christianity today. Just because Jesus ate with sinners, they accept the examples at face value and don't look beyond the fact that Jesus did not keep close company with *habitual sinners*!

Most of Christ's disciples were sinners but they stopped sinning or tried their best not to sin when Jesus took them in. The only exception was Judas who kept being worldly / materialistic but he was with them as part of fulfillment of a prophecy.

 

[ThisIsMe123]

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[ThisIsMe123]

I am okay with being alone rather than within the company of sinners.

We are all sinners...that said it's unrealistic to discount friendships as we are all flawed to a certain extent.

 

[RileyG]

I'm a habitual sinner in need of God's grace. Glory to God in all things. Amen.

 

[RileyG]

We are all sinners...that said it's unrealistic to discount friendships as we are all flawed to a certain extent.

Amen

 

[RoanokeIllinois]

there is a descent site out there, where people of all different kinds of hobbies can meet up and hang out, to make new friends. It's called meetup.com. I'm not on there any more, but I use to be. It's not to bad.

And when it comes to a relationship, I can completely relate with being lonely. I know that I could get a gf, if I didn't have any standards or morality, but I do, and I'm never going to apologize for having them, and I definitely don't want to settle. Nor should any Christian have too. As far as dating. I would suggest eharmony.com. its logo is a heart. I do believe that the owner is a Christian, and for many many years he fought against the political correctness of the World, by only allowing men and women date on his site. He eventually caved, but the fact, that he even put up a fight, and stood up for his principles for as long as he did, meant a lot to me anyways.

eharmony | Dating site to meet singles & find real love!

 

[RileyG]

Thank you