Conviction and conscience *(Warning - possible trigger)

[flowerforever7]

Hi,

The Bible says that whatever does not come from faith is sin. What if your conscience never feels right about almost everything?

For example, I wanted to put up a website. We are not to seek our own interest when we fast. I felt convicted to fast from doing what I want to until I find out what state I am going to be in for sure. Well, ofcourse, I got tired of fasting. Though it is not an excuse, I have excessive urges to fast from a lot of things. Anyway, yesterday I was having a really tough time. I decided to take a break from fasting. And then I decided to call my fast off. Well, I now feel convicted that I am not fasting and honoring my fast when I said I would. I feel guilty about doing most things I want to do at this point. I do not have a job yet, but it seems highly probable that I will be staying in this state. Yet, I still feel compelled I need to fast because I do not know for absolute certain (lack of a job), and to keep my word. When I attempt to do things I want to do now (after I have called off my fast), I not only feel guilty, but I have aggressive and blasphemous thoughts toward the Holy Spirit when I set out to do anything. I think I feel genuinely angry that I cannot do anything, but it gets directed at the Holy Spirit. Then I feel that I cannot partake in what I set out to do, because I believe I would be condemned in doing so, due to the aggressive thoughts against the Holy Spirit in response to not being able to partake in actions I would prefer to.

Thoughts???

Most things I cannot do in faith with a clear conscience. I heard advice that we should not go forth with something until our conscience is clear about it. What if my conscience never is clear on most things, and / or what if I feel convicted to not partake in most things? Then what? Am I supposed to wait until I am able to feel right about doing anything? It would feel like I am living my life in a straightjacket because I feel convicted about most things, and therefore cannot partake in them due to my convictions. Would living that way be honoring God, because I am being honest about where I am as a starting point? At the same time, I do not want to go forth in spite of my convictions because then I would not be doing it with a clear conscience, and the Paul says in Romans 14:23 "But whoever has doubts is condemned if he eats, because the eating is not from faith. For whatever does not proceed from faith is sin." Should I just not do anything until my conscience is clear, even if it is painful to do so and I am not able to partake in most things I want to do? I need to do what is right in God's eyes. If you can give me advice in light of that, it would be appreciated.

Thanks.

 

[gracealone]

Flower, this is all OCD/Scrupulosity. You are even plucking scripture out of context and twisting it all around in such a way that it makes you feel condemned. Been there/done that.
I cannot respond to any of this in a serious way as if any of it is valid or as if you are in real danger of offending God. This is OCD and must be treated AS OCD rather than a legitimate spiritual problem.
You need to switch gears and get off the compulsive path. Focus on managing the OCD. Learn about ERP on your own. Best place to start in my opinion is www.OCDonline.com
Read Dr. Philipson's articles on "Pure O" and then begin to plug his counsel into your own OCD themes.
I'll be praying for you.
Mitzi

Hi,

The Bible says that whatever does not come from faith is sin. What if your conscience never feels right about almost everything?

For example, I wanted to put up a website. We are not to seek our own interest when we fast. I felt convicted to fast from doing what I want to until I find out what state I am going to be in for sure. Well, ofcourse, I got tired of fasting. Though it is not an excuse, I have excessive urges to fast from a lot of things. Anyway, yesterday I was having a really tough time. I decided to take a break from fasting. And then I decided to call my fast off. Well, I now feel convicted that I am not fasting and honoring my fast when I said I would. I feel guilty about doing most things I want to do at this point. I do not have a job yet, but it seems highly probable that I will be staying in this state. Yet, I still feel compelled I need to fast because I do not know for absolute certain (lack of a job), and to keep my word. When I attempt to do things I want to do now (after I have called off my fast), I not only feel guilty, but I have aggressive and blasphemous thoughts toward the Holy Spirit when I set out to do anything. I think I feel genuinely angry that I cannot do anything, but it gets directed at the Holy Spirit. Then I feel that I cannot partake in what I set out to do, because I believe I would be condemned in doing so, due to the aggressive thoughts against the Holy Spirit in response to not being able to partake in actions I would prefer to.

Thoughts???

Most things I cannot do in faith with a clear conscience. I heard advice that we should not go forth with something until our conscience is clear about it. What if my conscience never is clear on most things, and / or what if I feel convicted to not partake in most things? Then what? Am I supposed to wait until I am able to feel right about doing anything? It would feel like I am living my life in a straightjacket because I feel convicted about most things, and therefore cannot partake in them due to my convictions. Would living that way be honoring God, because I am being honest about where I am as a starting point? At the same time, I do not want to go forth in spite of my convictions because then I would not be doing it with a clear conscience, and the Paul says in Romans 14:23 "But whoever has doubts is condemned if he eats, because the eating is not from faith. For whatever does not proceed from faith is sin." Should I just not do anything until my conscience is clear, even if it is painful to do so and I am not able to partake in most things I want to do? I need to do what is right in God's eyes. If you can give me advice in light of that, it would be appreciated.

Thanks.

 

[flowerforever7]

Hi,

I do need someone to answer me genuinely, as this directly has to do with how I live out my life before God. This is a critical question I have in terms of the crux of doing the right thing before God in all areas. I need someone to address the very real questions I have.

Thanks.

 

[gracealone]

I'm sorry... I thought you were asking this stuff within the context of OCD. Since this is an OCD forum I'm quick to assume things like that.
I did not mean to be insensitive and I was being genuine as to what I thought would help you because I saw this as an OCD issue. Answering OCD questions makes the person who has them feel worse. I didn't want to do that.
Again... sorry.
Mitzi

Hi,

I do need someone to answer me genuinely, as this directly has to do with how I live out my life before God. This is a critical question I have in terms of the crux of doing the right thing before God in all areas. I need someone to address the very real questions I have.

Thanks.

 

[flowerforever7]

Hi Mitzi,

No problem. This issue is not completely within the context of OCD, it also has to do with my very real walk with God and how I live that out. So all though it does have to do with OCD, it also has to do with my real spiritual life.

Thanks for being willing to help.

 

[gracealone]

Hi Flower - May I try again?
No one feels convicted about everything unless of course they have OCD/hyperscupulosity. We can sort these kind of things out and move forward when OCD isn't throwing a big wrench into the process. But when OCD is mixed in there and we are attending to things which we should be letting go of then, like you said, we'll always feel in a state of guilt/doubt and conviction. So you need to find out what is OCD and what is legitimate. If it's OCD I guarantee you there will be tremendous anxiety attached to the theme no matter what it is. If it's OCD I guarantee you that attending to it will only make you feel worse and more stuck than ever. So if any of this applies to the things you talked about in your post than it's safe to label them as OCD and treat them accordingly. That's for you to decide, not me. I'm only telling you how I sort it out when I'm going through this kind of stuff. All OCD themes feel valid and that's why we struggle to let go of them.
I'm praying for your situation and my heart truly does go out to you. I wish I could convey that better than I do. You have my empathy.
Mitzi

Hi Mitzi,

No problem. This issue is not completely within the context of OCD, it also has to do with my very real walk with God and how I live that out. So all though it does have to do with OCD, it also has to do with my real spiritual life.

Thanks for being willing to help.

 

[flowerforever7]

Mitzi,

Yes, I understand what you are getting at. Thank you for your empathy and love. (Hugs)

 

[gracealone]

I'm glad. Hugs to you too.
Mitzi

Mitzi,

Yes, I understand what you are getting at. Thank you for your empathy and love. (Hugs)

 

[Orkney Islands]

This is one of the hardest looming questions that my OCD likes to focus on, too. It's so difficult because it feels like you're always violating your conscience on trivial things. For instance, if I see a gorgeous woman and become attracted to her, my OCD will try and convince me that my attraction is actually lust, and I become so distracted by trying to separate the two. I also have obsessions that if I don't read the bible and pray at specific times, that I am letting God down and becoming luke warm. Differentiating between a genuine conviction, and your OCD messing with you, can be a real confusing struggle so my sympathy goes out to you.

But I have faith that when we draw closer to Jesus, he will reveal the truth to us in unsuspecting ways, because God loves you. So much. Remember what the Lord said : I am the way, the truth, and the life'' also ''ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free'' Jesus IS the truth and he came to set the captives free.

Here is something encouraging for you: Did you know that spiritual giants such as Martin Luther and John Bunyan also struggled with OCD and scrupolosity? And look what God managed to do with their lives afterwards. Sometimes I think this horrific disorder could actually be a hidden blessing in that we come to realize how much we need God in our lives. And our need to rely on him for strength to get through the darkest hours.

God bless

 

[babegirl111]

I know exactly how you feel. I went through this same thing for a longgggg time. I thought a lot of stuff that I did was a sin. I am going through some of those same things now. I absolutely loveeeee movies, its just one of my hobbies. I love all types of movies. Now I am getting to a point where I feel like a movie that I really wanna go see I cant because it may be a sin....idk its tough because I get into a place of being afraid that something bad will happen if I go see it!!

 

[kaykay9.0]

Hi Flower - May I try again?
No one feels convicted about everything unless of course they have OCD/hyperscupulosity. We can sort these kind of things out and move forward when OCD isn't throwing a big wrench into the process. But when OCD is mixed in there and we are attending to things which we should be letting go of then, like you said, we'll always feel in a state of guilt/doubt and conviction. So you need to find out what is OCD and what is legitimate. If it's OCD I guarantee you there will be tremendous anxiety attached to the theme no matter what it is. If it's OCD I guarantee you that attending to it will only make you feel worse and more stuck than ever. So if any of this applies to the things you talked about in your post than it's safe to label them as OCD and treat them accordingly. That's for you to decide, not me. I'm only telling you how I sort it out when I'm going through this kind of stuff. All OCD themes feel valid and that's why we struggle to let go of them.
I'm praying for your situation and my heart truly does go out to you. I wish I could convey that better than I do. You have my empathy.
Mitzi

Good answer! We probably all struggle with what is genuinely God and what is OCD if you are a Christian who really desires God and Holiness but struggles massively with OCD.