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Converting the Bear

nephilimiyr

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A preist, a preacher, and a rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University in Marquette. They would get together two or three times for coffe and talk shop.

One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another, and they decided to do a seven-day experiment. They would each go into the woods, find a bear, and preach to it.

A week later, they're all together to discuss the experience. Father O'Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has various bandages, goes first. "Well," he says, in a fine Irish brogue, "Ey wint oot into th' woods to find me a bear. Oond when Ey fund him Ey began to read to him from the Baltimorre Catechism. Well, that bear wanted naught to do with' me and began to slap me aboot. So I quick grabbed me holy water and, THE SAINTS BE PRAISED, he became as gentle as a lamb. The bishop is comeing oot next wik to give him fierst communion und confierrmation."

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and both legs in casts. In his best fire and brimstone oratory he proclaimed, "WELL, brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle...WE DUNK! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to him from GOD'S HOOOOOOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. I SAY NO! He wanted NOTHING to do with me. So I took HOOOOLD of him and we began to rassle. We rassled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we come to a crick. So I quick DUNK him and BAPTIZE his hairy soul. An' jus like you sez, he wuz gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the week in fellowship, feasting on God's HOOOOOLY word."

They both look down at the rabbi, who is lying in a hospital bed. He's in a whole body cast and in traction, with IV's and monitors running in and out of him.

The rabbi looks up and says, "OY! Preaching to the bear was easy, but he got a bit touchy about the circumcision"!


LOL, God Bless!


Neph
 

nephilimiyr

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ChristianWarrior said:
To a guy that's funny! To a girl it's sick, but then to guys periods are sick, so it all evens out. :)
Well I don't know about that. My sister who thought it was funny emailed this to my wife who couldn't stop laughing when she showed me it!
 
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nephilimiyr

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ChristianWarrior said:
Well OK, I was generalizing. Some guys can find period stories funny. Either way it's hilarious. Some girls also just don't have the same sense of humor! ;)
LOL, yeah I know what your saying. Lets put it this way...Every guy would think that joke was hilarious but not every woman...although I believe most women would
 
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Bladecarver

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Oh, that is hilarious. How about this one...

An Atheist is out hunting in the woods one weekend, but saw nothing. As he is heading back to camp, he comes across a bear. He is so nervous that his arms are shaking as he tries to bring his gun to bear (pun intended) and the bear just takes a swipe and knocks it out of the Atheist's hands.

The Atheist decides to run, and trips over a root sticking up out of the ground. As the bear bares down on him, he prays, "God, I know it's too late for me, but could you at least make the bear a Christian?"

Next thing he hears the bear, "Dear Lord, thank you for blessing this meal I am about to receive."
 
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nephilimiyr

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Bladecarver said:
Oh, that is hilarious. How about this one...

An Atheist is out hunting in the woods one weekend, but saw nothing. As he is heading back to camp, he comes across a bear. He is so nervous that his arms are shaking as he tries to bring his gun to bear (pun intended) and the bear just takes a swipe and knocks it out of the Atheist's hands.

The Atheist decides to run, and trips over a root sticking up out of the ground. As the bear bares down on him, he prays, "God, I know it's too late for me, but could you at least make the bear a Christian?"

Next thing he hears the bear, "Dear Lord, thank you for blessing this meal I am about to receive."
Ha,ha,ha, that is a good one! Thanks for putting a smile on my face today Bladecarver! :D
 
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