I am very confused and I dont even know what my point is with this thread, I guess if someone can summarize the beliefs of different churches and how one joins them, it would help quite a bit. I just dont know what to do.
p.s. I am also interested in Eastern (european) othodox
Do not despair! Plenty of us have been exactly where you are and there is hope.
Fr. James Bernstein was Jewish before becoming an Evangelical Christian (and one of the founding members of Jews for Jesus). However, as you, he didn't feel this type of belief was quite right either. He discovered Orthodox Christianity and is now an Orthodox Christian priest. He has quite a bit to say on the topic of how and why he went from Judaism to being an Orthodox Christian.
http://www.protomartyr.org/first.html
http://audio.ancientfaith.com/illuminedheart/ih_bernstein_pc.mp3
http://www.surprisedbychrist.com/
Regarding myself: I was raised as an Evangelical Pentecostal, was later a deist, and then became an Orthodox Christian. My family was
far from happy with my decision to join the Church (it has been rough but I know converts who have it
much worse with their families than I do). I had given up on Christianity, I read a book about Orthodox Christianity on a whim and felt compelled to visit. I knew the truth when I was confronted with it. Here are excerpts from the book I read on-line:
http://fatheralexander.org/booklets/english/history_timothy_ware_1.htm http://fatheralexander.org/booklets/english/history_timothy_ware_2.htm
What We Believe (this page has many links to articles answering this question): http://www.antiochian.org/673
How to go about converting: If one wishes to convert, then one must begin by coming and seeing what the fuss is about. Find an Orthodox Church in your area.
http://orthodoxyinamerica.org/lr_v10/locator.php
Visit us for Divine Liturgy, orthros/matins, vespers (come to any of our services). Talk to the priest if you feel inclined.
http://www.frederica.com/12-things/
If you feel that you are serious about converting, then ask the priest about attending catechumen classes. Once you have decided, then he will say the prayers that will officially make you a catechumen. If you're not serious, you can still ask any priest and attend the classes to learn more about our faith. (Plenty of people do this and later wind up converting.)
Once a person is a catechumen, the priest will inform the bishop when he feels you are ready to be received into the Church and when the bishop gives his blessing, you will be baptized and chrismated. Most catechumens are received into the Church on Holy Saturday, right before Great and Holy Pascha.
About how I became Orthodox continued (the slightly longer version):
I don't consider what I went through to be a true deconversion. I had been a hard core believer for most of my life and never thought I'd change either. However, when it happened, it was enough for me to post a deconversion testimony on a website for former Christians.
It was heartbreaking for me and I really had a difficult time. I did go through my own dark night of the soul. At the same time, I was also overjoyed with not having to go to church anymore, as I truly lost all sense of church services etc. even being remotely useful or relevant to my life. It all seemed so pointless. I saw this huge disconnect between the Church that the New Testament spoke about and what I was seeing in the Pentecostal, Baptist, and independent Christian churches I had gone to every Sunday and Wednesday of my life. I wanted the Church of the New Testament.
I didn't consider going to those churches that were considered more 'liberal' because while social justice issues are important, I didn't see the point in calling themselves Christian if they were rejecting the fundamentals of the faith anyway. I figured I could be involved in helping others, be more honest with myself in the process, and sleep in on Sundays. Everything I had ever encountered in Christianity seemed to be well intentioned, but wrong somehow.
I began calling myself a Deist, but I wasn't satisfied with that and started researching other religions and philosophies. I liked Taoism, but I honestly didn't see anything else that I considered worth my time to believe in. I couldn't call myself an atheist because I had a few experiences in my life that made me aware of a spiritual world out there. However, knowing this didn't make finding the truth an easy process, and skeptics had a lot of good questions that I began to examine as my own.
Long story short, I was a jaded and bitter individual. I felt I had good reason to be as I had a lot of negative religious/spiritual experiences. I understand where people are coming from who are angry, because I can relate to an extent. However, my bitterness began to turn into hatred of all things Christian, to the point where I started to see that I was becoming the sort of person I didn't want to be. I didn't like myself at all.
I didn't give up my search though. I read a lot. I sent desperate, pleading prayers out for God (if He even existed) to lead me to the truth. It was coming across Orthodox Christianity on the net that piqued my interest. I thought I knew everything about Christianity- enough to know that all the groups I was familiar with weren't going to cut it for me. I found the only Orthodox book at my local Barnes and Noble and bought the beat up and bent copy of it. I read it, I was cautious about it, I tried to dismiss it (but it kept coming to mind), and I eventually decided that I wanted to go visit an Orthodox church.
I was very reluctant to go back to any sort of church again. The first Sunday my husband (who was agnostic at the time) and I even turned around in the church parking lot and went out for coffee instead. However, we eventually made our way in for Divine Liturgy.
How does one explain to someone else about experiencing the presence of God? All I knew was that it wasn't simply my own emotions wreaking havoc with me- some things come from outside of ourselves- and people who know themselves well can discern this difference. (I was raised Pentecostal and I am rather immune to situations designed to manipulate emotions.) It was like being confronted with all of the answers to my questions after my long search. I knew I had to convert. God was there. Christ is in the Eucharist- which is something I had difficulty accepting as I was raised to accept a very different thing as being the truth- but have certainly experienced beyond a doubt since my Chrismation. Can I prove this to you? No. Were our personal experiences enough to prove it to me and my husband? Yes.
I hope this is helpful for you.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gj4pUphDitA
