Continue to pray for my ex, or no?

[thisgal]

I would appreciate some thoughts/wisdom in regards to whether or not I should continue praying for the well being of an ex. I've never struggled so much to let go of a relationship before and I know that will come with time, but I still feel like I want to keep praying for his well being and growth in Christ because I know he needs it, and I'm not sure that anyone else is praying for him this way. His nominal faith is one of the reasons I ended things, but I really didn't want to break-up. God does keep reminding me that he loves this man more than I do.

Any thoughts? (PS- I'm not talking about prayers along the lines of "dear God make him a better man for me" or "get us back together" but rather I want to see him free in Christ of his vices and insecurities.)

 

[JAM2b]

If you think about him and have genuine concern for his wellbeing and spiritual life, then you should pray for him. This should be true of anyone you know.

 

[alsughasoughaiuyfygh]

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[( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)]

I would appreciate some thoughts/wisdom in regards to whether or not I should continue praying for the well being of an ex. I've never struggled so much to let go of a relationship before and I know that will come with time, but I still feel like I want to keep praying for his well being and growth in Christ because I know he needs it, and I'm not sure that anyone else is praying for him this way. His nominal faith is one of the reasons I ended things, but I really didn't want to break-up. God does keep reminding me that he loves this man more than I do.

Any thoughts? (PS- I'm not talking about prayers along the lines of "dear God make him a better man for me" but rather I want to see him free in Christ of his vices and insecurities.)

There's your clue to keep praying.

 

[Miles]

- On the one hand, we could tell you to not pray for the guy, but that doesn't sound right to me. After all, shouldn't we pray for everybody?

- On the other, it sounds like you're not over him yet, and focusing on your ex may not be healthy. Perhaps pray for faith that God will handle the situation without as much involvement from you.

 

[Sketcher]

Praying for him can help him, but I don't know how much it helps you. It brings your attention back to him, but you want to and need to let him go.

 

[bèlla]

You need to ask yourself why you're doing this is and if praying is another way of holding on. Especially if you're hoping they'll lead to a reconciliation. The prayers won't diminish the connection unless you ask. You'll stay plugged in.

 

[thisgal]

I very much appreciate everyone's thoughts and you can well see how I'm feeling torn. Wanting to always pray for those on our hearts, but also wanting to be cautious of keeping an unhealthy attachment. I'd hoped maybe someone could share an experience where their continued prayers for an ex actually helped in the healing and eventually led to a peaceful disconnect. Perhaps I'll pray through the month and then ask God if I should continue.

 

[Gnarwhal]

I would appreciate some thoughts/wisdom in regards to whether or not I should continue praying for the well being of an ex. I've never struggled so much to let go of a relationship before and I know that will come with time, but I still feel like I want to keep praying for his well being and growth in Christ because I know he needs it, and I'm not sure that anyone else is praying for him this way. His nominal faith is one of the reasons I ended things, but I really didn't want to break-up. God does keep reminding me that he loves this man more than I do.

Any thoughts? (PS- I'm not talking about prayers along the lines of "dear God make him a better man for me" but rather I want to see him free in Christ of his vices and insecurities.)

The best definition of love I've heard is this:

Love is willing the good of the other, as other.

Perhaps asking yourself whether your prayers for him are following that idea or not. If not, maybe you should shift gears and either think about how you can change your motives, or simply entrust it all to the Lord once and for all and move on.

It might be possible that on a subconscious level, you're praying for the things you are not because you want what's best for him, but because you want to get back together with him, but in your mind he needs to check off a couple more boxes first. Is that really love?

 

[Mark_CB]

You're still not over him. Once you find someone else, you maybe will pray for him less. Which might be healthy.

 

[bèlla]

I very much appreciate everyone's thoughts and you can well see how I'm feeling torn. Wanting to always pray for those on our hearts, but also wanting to be cautious of keeping an unhealthy attachment. I'd hoped maybe someone could share an experience where their continued prayers for an ex actually helped in the healing and eventually led to a peaceful disconnect. Perhaps I'll pray through the month and then ask God if I should continue.

You could add his name to prayer lists instead. When I prayed for a previous connection for a lengthy time he softened but our desire for the other never left. It persisted for years.