Constructive Criticism thread

[waves16]

See Sean, you have much wisdom.

Come on slackers. I want more people to bring the hammer down on me.

Austin, I don't know you that well, but it seems like you're far too hard on yourself. When I first started posting here on CF, you were the first person I noticed. You seem to be the kind of person that people can't help but like. You're incredibly smart and funny, and it's easy to see that everybody here has nothing but good things to say about you! Your funny posts are very clever, and your serious posts are so heartfelt that you can't help but notice the kindness and sincerity in your words. I know there are things that you don't like about yourself, but you have so many good qualities. So, here's the hammer You need to give yourself more credit. It's easy to get caught up in the things we don't like about ourselves, but if you could see yourself the way I'm sure most of us see you, you would see an amazing person!

I hope I did that right
I know that most of you probbaly don't know me well enough to write much, but any constructive criticism would be welcome!

 

[kevlite2020]

Gee, Kevin, I don't remember much of the arguing. It seems ages ago. Something about holidays or something. Oh well, thank you for your thoughts. I do remember when you were a mod I had a greater respect for you because you would and could articulate better than some others the heart of whatever issue was being addressed.




That's good general advice alot of people could use. Yep, I do short change myself sometimes - in life I mean - and it's something I try to recognize and nip in the bud when I see it. I think one of the tricks is to keep your vision clear and in front of you and learn from (but do not dwell on ) past mistakes. Anyways - thanks for your thoughts.

haha well I didn't mean argue like we were really on each other's case... Just more like, I remember debating stuff with you a lot because we have a lot of different opinions. Which is cool, because you've always been respectful to me

 

[Tink]

Kevin, I want your assessment of me.

Pronto!

kthx.

 

[kevlite2020]

Kevin, I want your assessment of me.

Pronto!

kthx.

I don't just fart out magical wisdom!


I need to thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiink

Where is your assessment of me, huh? huh? I want assessments too lol

 

[Thunder Peel]

As long as you're at it, you both can critique me if you want. Let's share the love!

 

[kevlite2020]

As long as you're at it, you both can critique me if you want. Let's share the love!

heh will do... I will be back after some thinking

 

[Thunder Peel]

I know that most of you probbaly don't know me well enough to write much, but any constructive criticism would be welcome!

I don't know a lot about you except from talking to you here and on Skype. You seem pretty down to earth and grounded so there's not much to critique.

Also, you didn't make Batman and Robin, which is another plus!

 

[Tink]

I will get back to both of you after some prayer and thinking.

 

[Fremdin]

I'll take some of this.

 

[Perhaps Today]

I'm up for this.

 

[Thunder Peel]

I'll take some of this.

To be honest, the only thing that comes to mind is that you don't realize how much you have to offer. You are so smart and you have the amazing ability to see right through people. I'm amazed at how you can simply observe people and break them down just based on their actions and words after a few minutes. That is so neat and it never ceases to impress me.

You've been an amazing friend to me and so many others. You genuinely care about people and want to see them reach their potential. My biggest prayer for you is that you'll see the good and beauty in yourself that you see so readily in others. You have more value than you know.

 

[Fremdin]

To be honest, the only thing that comes to mind is that you don't realize how much you have to offer. You are so smart and you have the amazing ability to see right through people. I'm amazed at how you can simply observe people and break them down just based on their actions and words after a few minutes. That is so neat and it never ceases to impress me.

You've been an amazing friend to me and so many others. You genuinely care about people and want to see them reach their potential. My biggest prayer for you is that you'll see the good and beauty in yourself that you see so readily in others. You have more value than you know.

Daww. That's sweet. Thanks!

 

[BRISH]

I don't just fart out magical wisdom!


I need to thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiink

Where is your assessment of me, huh? huh? I want assessments too lol

lol


Well, you're pootin them out just fine, IMO.


Also, Austin...wow.

 

[Thunder Peel]

I'm up for this.

I haven't had the chance to really talk with you one-on-one but I've seen enough of your posts here and on Skype to know that you have a wonderful ability to build people up. You make them laugh, you engage them in conversation, and you can get them excited about their lives and what God is doing.

You seem to be pretty hard on yourself and unaware of what you bring to people's lives. It would be amazing to see you turn that enthusiasm onto yourself as well. You're far from a failure or a nobody; you're a great friend, an uplifting brother in Christ and a positive light not just on CF but in every area of your life. I'm blessed to know you.

 

[Gym]

*awaits his turn in line...*

 

[kevlite2020]

okay... *deep breath*

Austin, my friend.

The advice I want to give to you is given to you on an almost daily basis, and I'm not one for beating a dead horse. I don't have anything much different to say, but I will at least try to say it in a different way with the hope that it might somehow stick.

You spend a lot of time building people up. You have an incredible talent of picking out the best qualities in people and focusing on those. You even have a way of helping them see the "light at the end of the tunnel" for their bad qualities and bad situations. You also have a great gift of humor, using wit and sarcasm in a way that brings out the best in people.

Just think about that for a second. Think of the impact you have on everyone around you. You know that you cannot deny the help and support you give to your friends. This is what makes you such a great friend to have, and why so many on here desire your company and conversation.

But after all you do for everyone around you and all the positives you can pull out of other people, you can't do it for yourself. I want you to realize this: the things you say and do to others can effect them, but the things you say and do to yourself can also effect others. When you encourage someone and build them up, and then immediately turn around and tear yourself down, it's almost like spitting in the face of those you encourage.

Or put this way: people see an incredible young man with so much to give the world. Then that same man tells them that they are special. Part of why they feel special is because they really are and you just helped them realize it... but part of it is also because it is you saying it, and coming from an outstanding man like you gives it credibility and meaning beyond just the words you say. But then you turn around and hate on yourself, and it devalues what you do for them. It makes them doubt if you really are as amazing, or if they can honestly believe the things you say about them. Because one way or the other, they realize your perspective is off.

I really hope you can come closer to a true perspective. Because the people you make feel special, they really are. You aren't wrong about them. When you examine them and find their positives and build them up, you are being honest and observant. But if you want to be a better friend to these people, and a better man in general, you need to observe yourself in the same way. You need to find those positives that everybody else can blatantly see, and you need to find a way to be proud of those things. You need to build yourself up in the way that you do others.

If you can do that bro... wow. You'd be somethin else!

side note: I do believe you can find a way to do this. But you can't be lazy about it, you have to take an active passion and caringness about your own life, as strong if not stronger than the way you do towards others.

 

[kevlite2020]

Sara...

I would not change your personality one bit. You really are blessed in many ways, and you use the ways you were blessed to bless others. You really are an incredible lady. You wonder why you are single and I don't know. The only thing I can offer is the slightest hunch and it will either have a shed of truth or it won't, but either way at least I can say I tried

When you are meeting new men, or when you are starting to date something, this is what I wonder about you... Do you feel sexy? Do you feel desirable and passionate?

I ask this for a reason. I feel like you have been burdened with a range of loving and caring that most people do not have the capability for. When I picture you going out on a date, I don't tend to see a romantic, passionate lady. Instead, I see you as a caring, nurturing lady. Now before you say anything, that is not bad. In fact, it's incredible.

But I just wonder if you get stuck in a "mothering" type mode. I imagine your first instinct with a man is to nurture them and care for them and love them. And while a man would love to be in a relationship like that, it's hard to start a relationship like that. Because he will feel like you are being his friend and not his romantic interest.

I know you have the ability to be romantic and passionate. And I wouldn't ever tell you to stop being so caring and nurturing. Just, remember that there is a time to be that loving, protective nurturer, and there is a time to be that fiery, interesting-but-mysterious, passionate woman. Don't be afraid to embrace both of those sides to you.

 

[Perhaps Today]

I haven't had the chance to really talk with you one-on-one but I've seen enough of your posts here and on Skype to know that you have a wonderful ability to build people up. You make them laugh, you engage them in conversation, and you can get them excited about their lives and what God is doing.

You seem to be pretty hard on yourself and unaware of what you bring to people's lives. It would be amazing to see you turn that enthusiasm onto yourself as well. You're far from a failure or a nobody; you're a great friend, an uplifting brother in Christ and a positive light not just on CF but in every area of your life. I'm blessed to know you.

Thank you, I do try to be encouraging and helpful to others. It does take me a bit to open up to others though. I know I have a tendency to be hard on myself, even after telling others not to. I have had a few on here say that to me. I'm blessed to know you as well.

 

[K9_Trainer]

Well now I'm sort of curious....I don't know if I want it PM'd or not though.

 

[white dove]

I don't just fart out magical wisdom!

Awesome. I'm so glad you're back.