how can you console (non-Christian) friends who are in the process of having their hearts broken? especially if they ask for your advice on their situation?
... if you can at all.
... if you can at all.
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CF has always been a site that welcomes people from different backgrounds and beliefs to participate in discussion and even debate. That is the nature of its ministry. In view of recent events emotions are running very high. We need to remind people of some basic principles in debating on this site. We need to be civil when we express differences in opinion. No personal attacks. Avoid you, your statements. Don't characterize an entire political party with comparisons to Fascism or Communism or other extreme movements that committed atrocities. CF is not the place for broad brush or blanket statements about groups and political parties. Put the broad brushes and blankets away when you come to CF, better yet, put them in the incinerator. Debate had no place for them. We need to remember that people that commit acts of violence represent themselves or a small extreme faction.
consoling friends
- Thread starter vibrant
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Stanfi
Senior Veteran
I think the first thing to do is just listen to them with a tender heart. Realize that they are in pain, and don't just brush them off. Don't just tell them cliches like "It will be all right". Give them sound advice that they can use! Sorry, I have a personal problem with meaningless idle cliches like this.
Encourage them to take this to God in prayer, and open their heart to God. Help them to get their focus off of the broken relationship and onto God. We need to allow God to first our first love in our lives.
Have them read Michelle Hammond's "What Becomes of the Broken Hearted" and "Prayer Guide For the Broken Hearted". These books are so good. They are written by a woman, for a women, but as a man they really helped me. I cannot even remember a quarter of what is in them, but they are great, and will help anyone get onto the path of emotional healing.
So many times with God's help we have to work out our healing on our own, but the end result will be to realize who God IS, and the he is there, and the he does love us, and care for us. Just because he shut one door for us simply means that he has something better for us down the road. The key to receive what he has for us is to have patience, and trust in Him with all of our heart.
Praying for your friend. Mending a broken heart is no fun.
Oops! missed the non-Christian part. Hmm.. Jesus in the only way I know. It is tough enough with Jesus, I cannot imagine without Him. Perhaps encourage them to seek God at this time in their life.
Encourage them to take this to God in prayer, and open their heart to God. Help them to get their focus off of the broken relationship and onto God. We need to allow God to first our first love in our lives.
Have them read Michelle Hammond's "What Becomes of the Broken Hearted" and "Prayer Guide For the Broken Hearted". These books are so good. They are written by a woman, for a women, but as a man they really helped me. I cannot even remember a quarter of what is in them, but they are great, and will help anyone get onto the path of emotional healing.
So many times with God's help we have to work out our healing on our own, but the end result will be to realize who God IS, and the he is there, and the he does love us, and care for us. Just because he shut one door for us simply means that he has something better for us down the road. The key to receive what he has for us is to have patience, and trust in Him with all of our heart.
Praying for your friend. Mending a broken heart is no fun.
Oops! missed the non-Christian part. Hmm.. Jesus in the only way I know. It is tough enough with Jesus, I cannot imagine without Him. Perhaps encourage them to seek God at this time in their life.
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mrstace said:
Yeah, I agree. Always encourage them to seek God... especially in these situations. Use an example from your life how God has helped you, either directly or non-directly related to the issue. I'm getting better at doing this and just encouraging my non-Christian friends to seek God... I just watch my best friend do it and smile... I'm amazed. She's becoming a true woman of God!
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but i was sent an email.
does she really want a (detailed or general) response, even though she asked several questions, or is this something she just wanted to put out there, with all her questions being rhetorical and unanswerable?
does she really want a (detailed or general) response, even though she asked several questions, or is this something she just wanted to put out there, with all her questions being rhetorical and unanswerable?
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Stanfi
Senior Veteran
I can that depends on your friend. Maybe she was just venting or maybe this was just the cry of someone really hurting despeartely seeking help. I think that you just need to let her know that you there for her. Pray about it, and ask God what you should do. He knows what your friend needs.vibrant said:
Perhaps a lady can give you better answer on what to tell you friend.
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harmmony
Regular Member
I think that maybe you should give her a phone call if you can, or visit if she lives near by. You can really only be there for her and respond in the ways she might need. I agree with mrstace it's a little hard to tell what she really needs from the sound of her email. She may just need a sympathetic ear, someone to be on her side of this breakup, or she may really need something more. Emails are hard because you can't hear a person's tone of voice to tell if they are just angry or really upset etc, all those things which help us help someone. So, I think you should give her a ring and take it from there, at least that will give you a better idea about how you can help.
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i don't have her number.
i ended up just telling her that she'll figure out the answers to her questions in time, and gave her my number, telling her to call if she needed someone to talk to.
i ended up just telling her that she'll figure out the answers to her questions in time, and gave her my number, telling her to call if she needed someone to talk to.
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