Considering Suicide

[Derek Trammell]

I'm scared. I'm frightened I'm not saved, yet I did believe in God and the Gospel because He gave me faith. I've sinned so much though, the other night I think God gave me over to my sin, and the consequence was feeling completely alone, like I was the only one in existence, like solipsism. I think God gave me a spirit of unbelief because of my hardened heart, and I don't know how to get out of it. I'm considering suicide because I don't want to sin any more and increase my punishment in hell. If you can, please help.

 

[Hieronymus]

Wish i could say more than:
Hang in there buddy !
But that's all i've got..
But i think God is working with you, and suffering leads to repentance, and repentance leads to God.

 

[Derek Trammell]

Thanks Hieronymus, I hope you're right.

 

[Goatee]

To stop sinning is very hard indeed. I should know as i am the worlds worst!

Look, i have said this before on here. You are suffering and you need to offer up your suffering to God. You are being guided by God. He is with you and wants you to turn to him. You have to do it with a truly sincere heart. Its not to say that things will instantly get better, no. It takes time.

Look at me! I committed adultery over a year and 5 months ago. I have visited confession so many times that my name is above the door!!! I still keep failing! I still keep asking god for mercy. God has not abandoned me as i know he keeps calling me away from my sins even though i keep sinning!

Its a hard battle. The devil is pulling hard on one side and God on the other. I know i will fail and the devil will win now and again but he aint going to win the war! I am determined to fight him however weak and pathetic i am. I know i keep failing but in the eyes of God i am still his creation.

Look to God. Continue the battle. Pray. Pray and pray. Even when you fall, or know you are going to fall, turn to God.

God bless you

 

[Hieronymus]

@ Derek:
I have similar struggles, suicidal thoughts too.
Iḿ a tenacious sinner.
It's like two steps forward and one and a half step back most of the time...
But i believe God finishes what He starts, and He made me find Truth when i sought it.
It's a path of development, it's a tough journey..
...what can i say...
We're allowed to fail, and we do fail, but it hurts.

 

[toLiJC]

i can tell you the story of what i felt one day when i was very concerned about myself many years ago (when i was still young and wild), i was in a hospital with aches in my body, and being so worried about myself after waiting my turn a long time outside the door of the radiographic room, a doctor came out of there with a little(about 3y old) kid crying in his hands, and said to the parents "there is a big object stuck in the gastrointestinal tract of the kid and we have to operate immediately", when i saw and heard this, i felt ashamed and all my worry about myself sank into the ground with shame all of a sudden - as if something, or to be more precise, someone, said to me "you are all right, but the kid is very ill", and then it really turned out that i am in good health, it was one of those moments when a man feels like letting off steam, i already felt like telling the doctors inside the radiographic room "what is going on here?!, how much longer will i wait?!" without knowing who is there and what their condition is, but God made me understand we should worry about our neighbor/brother, not about ourselves...

Blessings

 

[orangeness365]

I struggle with thinking about suicide every day now. I think I feel that way because I don't want to suffer anymore in this life in any way, but also because deep down I feel like I deserve to die for my sins. I tell myself though that Jesus died for my sins and everyone else's sins who repents of their sins. If you struggle with wondering if God will forgive you for your sins, then forgive others. If you want mercy from God, then show mercy. I don't know what your sins are, but everybody has them. You don't really sound like you've fallen too far to turn back or that your heart is hardened by that much. The fact that you care and want to follow Jesus seems to me like a positive sign. Keep asking Jesus to help you to stop sinning, and to forgive you of your sins.

 

[singpeace]

I'm scared. I'm frightened I'm not saved, yet I did believe in God and the Gospel because He gave me faith. I've sinned so much though, the other night I think God gave me over to my sin, and the consequence was feeling completely alone, like I was the only one in existence, like solipsism. I think God gave me a spirit of unbelief because of my hardened heart, and I don't know how to get out of it. I'm considering suicide because I don't want to sin any more and increase my punishment in hell. If you can, please help.

Dear sweet Derek,
I hope and pray for you in this terrible situation. I understand where you are emotionally, and I can honestly say that I have lost three brothers in law to suicide.
The shame and guilt that family members are left with is too terrible to say. Please know that no matter how often you slip, God loves you more than you know.

 

[Krissy Cakes]

I'm praying for you.

Please get some help as people do care.

Here are some numbers for you. http://www.christianforums.com/threads/crisis-hotlines-resources.7618491/page-2#post-59370481

 

[Derek Trammell]

Thank you guys for your prayers. Please pray that God in His mercy overcomes the spirit of unbelief that is on me because of my sin.

 

[Goatee]

Thank you guys for your prayers. Please pray that God in His mercy overcomes the spirit of unbelief that is on me because of my sin.

Jesus came to save sinners. Remember that.

God Bless you

 

[PropheticTimes]

Derek, my brother in Christ, please do not give in to what the enemy is whispering in your ear - "You'll never be good enough" ... "God hates you because of your sin" ... "You may as well just kill yourself because you're no good to God or anyone" ...
I've heard these whisperings all of my almost 45 years and I hear them still, yet they do not hold the water they used to. I have been learning about what it really means to be covered by God's grace (it truly is amazing).

Please, take the time to watch/listen to this (I will present it below), let it send you into the peace of knowing that even in our filth, the blood of Jesus Christ covers us, and because of this we are immersed in God's grace, all the time, no matter what. He loves you where you are, right now, covered in sin, God loves you more than human understanding can even fathom.

I am praying for you earnestly, that grace opens the eyes of your heart to understand that you are fully and immensely loved right now where you stand.

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

I struggle with thinking about suicide every day now. I think I feel that way because I don't want to suffer anymore in this life in any way, but also because deep down I feel like I deserve to die for my sins. I tell myself though that Jesus died for my sins and everyone else's sins who repents of their sins. If you struggle with wondering if God will forgive you for your sins, then forgive others. If you want mercy from God, then show mercy. I don't know what your sins are, but everybody has them. You don't really sound like you've fallen too far to turn back or that your heart is hardened by that much. The fact that you care and want to follow Jesus seems to me like a positive sign. Keep asking Jesus to help you to stop sinning, and to forgive you of your sins.

This was really great

 

[Hieronymus]

Derek, my brother in Christ, please do not give in to what the enemy is whispering in your ear - "You'll never be good enough"

But that's the truth though.
Because we ALL fall short.
But this is payed for in full on the cross !

 

[PropheticTimes]

But that's the truth though.
Because we ALL fall short.
But this is payed for in full on the cross !

Correct, which makes the statement false because the blood Christ shed on the cross, the blood which covers us, negates it.

 

[Gabriel Anton]

Praise be to Jesus, our Saviour.

Jesus is Life. Jesus loves you.
Pray, pray, pray.
Read the Bible.
Help people.
Turn your attention away from death to Life.
Clean up your life.
Run away from darkess and into the Bosoms of your Savior.
Repent, confess your sins and submit to Jesus, your God.

Blessed be the Holy Spirit, Light through the darkness. Amen.

 

[Hieronymus]

Correct, which makes the statement false because the blood Christ shed on the cross, the blood which covers us, negates it.

That's justification, not sanctification, if you know what i mean.
Since we all fall short, the statement is not false.

 

[ArcticWind]

Hi Derek,
I can relate to how you must feel and what you wrote, as I suffered from severe depression for a long time. There was a night when in prayer I questioned God for creating me, and kept saying that It would have been better to just be dead,as I couldn't find my meaning in this world. The next day I almost had an accident, when I lost control of my car, but I felt His presence in those split seconds, and my car car regained its balance...I knew that this was His way to say to me, that my life belongs in His hands, and I'm no place to question it.
The advice I can give you is, that He loves you with a deeper love that you could ever dream to understand, and that
and that He has prepared a future full of hope for you...He will never give up fighting for you, so don't you give up on Him. He loves you so much that He gave His only Son so that you can be entitled to this future. Don't worry about your sins, He still loves you the way you are, its the sins that our Father hates. But the good news is that Christ's blood was spilled,and still is,so that we can be freed from them. I had a destructive habbit when I was in my darkest days, I wanted to stop it, but no mather how much I tried I just failed. But then the time came when God came in my life, and I started hating sin more and more, and fighting it. I constantly prayed for Him to wash me in His blood, to wash me from all my sins, to eradicate all that is earthly and sinful in me, and after a few weeks I stoped doing, as I stoped feeling the need.
He knows all your days on this earth, and
and He has the power and love neccesary to bless you with all the things that your heart desires, and more, as long as you don't give up on Him and leave Him in the driver seat of your life. After stormy days, He will bring the long waited sun in your life.

 

[PropheticTimes]

That's justification, not sanctification, if you know what i mean.
Since we all fall short, the statement is not false.

but negates it since it doesn't depend on us being good enough, since no one can ever be, but Christ's blood covers us, and he WAS good enough....this is what I meant, so it does indeed make the statement "you'll never be good enough" false - WE don't have to be because CHRIST was....I think the last thing Derek needs right now is to be even more confused

 

[Hieronymus]

but negates it since it doesn't depend on us being good enough, since no one can ever be, but Christ's blood covers us, and he WAS good enough....this is what I meant, so it does indeed make the statement "you'll never be good enough" false - WE don't have to be because CHRIST was....I think the last thing Derek needs right now is to be even more confused

I don't believe in sooth sayers, they lie.