The General Mental Health Forum is now a Read Only Forum. As we had two large areas making it difficult for many to find, we decided to combine the Mental Health & the Recovery sections of the forum into Mental Health & Recovery as a whole. Physical Health still remains as it's own area within the entire Recovery area.
If you are having struggles, need support in a particular area that you aren't finding a specific recovery area forum, you may find the General Struggles forum a great place to post. Any any that is related to emotions, self-esteem, insomnia, anger, relationship dynamics due to mental health and recovery and other issues that don't fit better in another forum would be examples of topics that might go there.
If you have spiritual issues related to a mental health and recovery issue, please use the Recovery Related Spiritual Advice forum. This forum is designed to be like Christian Advice, only for recovery type of issues. Recovery being like a family in many ways, allows us to support one another together. May you be blessed today and each day.
Kristen.NewCreation and FreeinChrist
Starting today August 7th, 2024, in order to post in the Married Couples, Courting Couples, or Singles forums, you will not be allowed to post if you have your Marital status designated as private. Announcements will be made in the respective forums as well but please note that if yours is currently listed as Private, you will need to submit a ticket in the Support Area to have yours changed.
It sounds to me like you are already regretting what you have already given away. Giving up the rest will just make things worse. Step back and separate yourself. Take some time to pray and meditate and really think about your feelings and where they are coming from and what you want for your life. If you just get it done and over with now, you will hate yourself for it later. If you want to lose these difficult feelings, you have to do the hard thing now and stop yourself from having sex at this point. If you don't, you will never be able to free yourself form the bondage of these feelings.jesus_freak_for_life said:i dont even have a relationship with the guy.. it's just.. sexual.. and the way i see it.. i've already given so much of myself away.. i might as well.. part of me just wants to get it done and over with..
Well, you certainly don't sound like you enjoy it.jesus_freak_for_life said:no.. i really dont feel bad about it.. i dont see anything wrong with it..
Amen. Well said Loving Mother. Let the love of God shine throug all darkness!!LovingMother said:Keep in mind, that all of the people responding to you here aren't telling you not to have sex because we have some personal stake in your decision. We don't. We care about you in a moment when you are not caring about yourself. It doesn't hurt us if you go out and have sex now. Ultimately, the person most hurt is you.
If anybody looks down on you for having those desires, they are a hypocrite. We all have desires and feelings. The wrong thing isn't having them, the worng thing is giving in to them.jesus_freak_for_life said:you dont get it.. i've already done everything but.. i dont even know if you can even characterize me as a virgin since oral sex is pretty much just sex in another position..
and no.. i like it.. and im ashamed (and only because people look down on me for them) my desires.. which are not "pure" or "holy"..
If you don't now, you will when it's too late.jesus_freak_for_life said:i dont care anymore..
Actually, Jesus did say it was bad. Jesus mentioned not only adultery, but also fornication, which is consensual sex between two people who are not married.jesus_freak_for_life said:Jesus didn't say it was bad.. the only sexual thing Jesus ever mentioned was adultery.. which technically you can't commit until your married or with a married person.
[font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]"The Room" by Joshua Harris[/font]
[font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]In that place between wakefulness and dreams, I found myself in the room. There were no distinguishing features save for the one wall covered with small index-card files. They were like the ones in libraries that list titles by author or subject in alphabetical order. But these files, which stretched from floor to ceiling and seemingly endlessly in either direction, had very different headings. As I drew near the wall of files, the first to catch my attention was one that read Girls I Have Liked. I opened it and began flipping through the cards. I quickly shut it, shocked to realize that I recognized the names written on each one.
And then without being told, I knew exactly where I was. This lifeless room with its small files was a crude catalog system for my life. Here were written the actions of my every moment, big and small, in a detail my memory couldnt match.
A sense of wonder and curiosity, coupled with horror, stirred within me as I began randomly opening files and exploring their content. Some brought joy and sweet memories; others a sense of shame and regret so intense that I would look over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching. A file named Friends was next to one marked Friends I Have Betrayed.
The titles ranged from the mundane to the outright weird. Books I Have Read, Lies I Have Told, Comfort I Have Given, Jokes I Have Laughed At. Some were almost hilarious in their exactness: Things Ive Yelled at My Brothers. Others I couldnt laugh at: Things I Have Done in My Anger, Things I Have Muttered Under My Breath at My Parents. I never ceased to be surprised by the contents. Often there were many more cards than I expected. Sometimes fewer than I hoped.
I was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of the life I had lived. Could it be possible that I had the time in my 20 years to write each of these thousands or even millions of cards? But each card confirmed this truth. Each was written in my own handwriting. Each signed with my signature.
When I pulled out the file marked Songs I Have Listened To, I realized the files grew to contain their contents. The cards were packed tightly, and yet after two or three yards, I hadnt found the end of the file. I shut it, shamed, not so much by the quality of music, but more by the vast amount of time I knew that file represented.
When I came to a file marked Lustful Thoughts, I felt a chill run through my body. I pulled the file out only an inch, not willing to test its size, and drew out a card. I shuddered at its detailed content. I felt sick to think that such a moment had been recorded.
An almost animal rage broke on me. One thought dominated my mind: No one must ever see these cards! No one must ever see this room! I have to destroy them! In an insane frenzy I yanked the file out. Its size didnt matter now. I had to empty it and burn the cards. But as I took it at one end and began pounding it on the floor, I could not dislodge a single card. I became desperate and pulled out a card, only to find it as strong as steel when I tried to tear it
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Defeated and utterly helpless, I returned the file to its slot. Leaning my forehead against the wall, I let out a long, self-pitying sigh. And then I saw it. The title bore People I Have Shared the Gospel With. The handle was brighter than those around it, newer, almost unused. I pulled on its handle and a small box not more than three inches long fell into my hands. I could count the cards it contained on one hand.
And then the tears came. I began to weep. Sobs so deep that they hurt started in my stomach and shook through me. I fell on my knees and cried. I cried out of shame, from the overwhelming shame of it all. The rows of file shelves swirled in my tear-filled eyes. No one must ever, ever know of this room. I must lock it up and hide the key.
But then as I pushed away the tears, I saw Him. No, please not Him. Not here. Oh, anyone but Jesus.
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I watched helplessly as He began to open the files and read the cards. I couldnt bear to watch His response. And in the moments I could bring myself to look at His face, I saw a sorrow deeper than my own. He seemed to intuitively go to the worst boxes. Why did He have to read every one?
Finally He turned and looked at me from across the room. He looked at me with pity in His eyes. But this was a pity that didnt anger me. I dropped my head, covered my face with my hands and began to cry again. He walked over and put His arm around me. He could have said so many things. But He didnt say a word. He just cried with me.
Then He got up and walked back to the wall of files. Starting at one end of the room, He took out a file and, one by one, began to sign His name over mine on each card.
No! I shouted rushing to Him. All I could find to say was No, no, as I pulled the card from Him. His name shouldnt be on these cards. But there it was, written in red so rich, so dark, so alive. The name of Jesus covered mine. It was written with His blood.
He gently took the card back. He smiled a sad smile and began to sign the cards. I dont think Ill ever understand how He did it so quickly, but the next instant it seemed I heard Him close the last file and walk back to my side. He placed His hand on my shoulder and said, It is finished.
I stood up, and He led me out of the room. There was no lock on its door. There were still cards to be written.[/font]
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