Considering Sleeping with this Guy and Not Feeling Guilty About It..

[LovingMother]

Well said, Warrior Poet!

 

[LovingMother]

By the way, one of the women I mentioned in my previous post got HIV despite having used a condom. She is very angry that she had sex with somebody that she didn't want to spend the rest of her life with and now has a disease that complicates her spending her life with somebody she really wants to be with.

 

[InGodweTrust]

I saw where someone mentioned that this guy that is willing to do this act is not worth having, that is the truth!!!! Do you think this guy really cares about you? Don t be crazy, he cares less about you, and tomorrow another girl will be sleeping on his shoulder. He will promise you the moon and the stars to get what he wants and that is not a lasting relationship with you, but another notch on his belt. He will run and tell his friends how easy you are. You are special and a lady. Do not throw it all away!

 

[Sunbeam]

Ask yourself what are all the things that are causing you to lose your peace to make you feel that doing this is okay.

You know it is not okay because you are writing this on the board.

You must get a hold of yourself and find peace.

Talk to someone who is a local female christian compassionate counselor and ask her to help you work through your feelings of anger, bitterness, etc.

 

[jesus_freak_for_life]

i dont even have a relationship with the guy.. it's just.. sexual.. and the way i see it.. i've already given so much of myself away.. i might as well.. part of me just wants to get it done and over with..

 

[LovingMother]

i dont even have a relationship with the guy.. it's just.. sexual.. and the way i see it.. i've already given so much of myself away.. i might as well.. part of me just wants to get it done and over with..

It sounds to me like you are already regretting what you have already given away. Giving up the rest will just make things worse. Step back and separate yourself. Take some time to pray and meditate and really think about your feelings and where they are coming from and what you want for your life. If you just get it done and over with now, you will hate yourself for it later. If you want to lose these difficult feelings, you have to do the hard thing now and stop yourself from having sex at this point. If you don't, you will never be able to free yourself form the bondage of these feelings.

 

[jesus_freak_for_life]

no.. i really dont feel bad about it.. i dont see anything wrong with it..

 

[LovingMother]

no.. i really dont feel bad about it.. i dont see anything wrong with it..

Well, you certainly don't sound like you enjoy it.

What is wrong with it is that it is dangerous and having sex now will hurt you more emotionally in the long run regardless of any physical dangers you may or may not experience. By having sex outside of marriage, you put yourself in danger both physically and emotionally. That is what is wrong with it.

Keep in mind, that all of the people responding to you here aren't telling you not to have sex because we have some personal stake in your decision. We don't. We care about you in a moment when you are not caring about yourself. It doesn't hurt us if you go out and have sex now. Ultimately, the person most hurt is you.

 

[Stanfi]

Keep in mind, that all of the people responding to you here aren't telling you not to have sex because we have some personal stake in your decision. We don't. We care about you in a moment when you are not caring about yourself. It doesn't hurt us if you go out and have sex now. Ultimately, the person most hurt is you.

Amen. Well said Loving Mother. Let the love of God shine throug all darkness!!

Jesus freak,

All I can listen is listen to these people. Listen to the voices of experience. We all love you and want you grow up with to be a happy adult. There will be a time for sex in you life, but it is NOT NOW. Having sex now will cause you so much emotional damage, that it will make it hard to develop a healthy relationship with the man God has chosen for you when it IS Time.

 

[jesus_freak_for_life]

you dont get it.. i've already done everything but.. i dont even know if you can even characterize me as a virgin since oral sex is pretty much just sex in another position..
and no.. i like it.. and im ashamed (and only because people look down on me for them) my desires.. which are not "pure" or "holy"..

 

[LovingMother]

you dont get it.. i've already done everything but.. i dont even know if you can even characterize me as a virgin since oral sex is pretty much just sex in another position..
and no.. i like it.. and im ashamed (and only because people look down on me for them) my desires.. which are not "pure" or "holy"..

If anybody looks down on you for having those desires, they are a hypocrite. We all have desires and feelings. The wrong thing isn't having them, the worng thing is giving in to them.

You can believe I don't get it all you want because I would have beleived that of me, too, when I was in the same spot you are in now. I hated my dad and stepmom and my stepmom was about the most evil thing you can know. I was abused and mistreated. I was about the [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] teenager known to man and I did everything but and wanted to go all the way, too. I was also suicidal and tried to kill myself. I never said you haven't done everything but. What I am saying is that if you finish what you have started, you are going to regret it and you will be the one that is hurt by it.

 

[jesus_freak_for_life]

i dont care anymore..

 

[LovingMother]

i dont care anymore..

If you don't now, you will when it's too late.

 

[jesus_freak_for_life]

then let me care when it's too late..
i dont care about that either..

 

[LovingMother]

Jesus didn't say it was bad.. the only sexual thing Jesus ever mentioned was adultery.. which technically you can't commit until your married or with a married person.

Actually, Jesus did say it was bad. Jesus mentioned not only adultery, but also fornication, which is consensual sex between two people who are not married.

 

[msjones21]

I think the problem here lies much deeper than just wanting to have sex because you don't like the rules. You feel like just because you've given up so much of yourself why not go all the way. That sounds an awful lot like what an ungodly guy would say to pressure you into having sex. "if you love me, you'll do it", "don't be a prude", "all the girls are doing it", "we've done everything else, what harm is there in going all the way?". No matter how far you've gone there is redemption in Jesus Christ. I'm going to post Joshua Harris's popular dream "The Room". Please, I beg you to read it in its entirety.

 

[desi]

If you give it up it'll probably hurt the first time and you'll wish you had back what was lost. After that it'll feel better but something special will be lost. Its your choice.

 

[msjones21]

[font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]"The Room" by Joshua Harris[/font]

[font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]In that place between wakefulness and dreams, I found myself in the room. There were no distinguishing features save for the one wall covered with small index-card files. They were like the ones in libraries that list titles by author or subject in alphabetical order. But these files, which stretched from floor to ceiling and seemingly endlessly in either direction, had very different headings. As I drew near the wall of files, the first to catch my attention was one that read “Girls I Have Liked.” I opened it and began flipping through the cards. I quickly shut it, shocked to realize that I recognized the names written on each one.

And then without being told, I knew exactly where I was. This lifeless room with its small files was a crude catalog system for my life. Here were written the actions of my every moment, big and small, in a detail my memory couldn’t match.

A sense of wonder and curiosity, coupled with horror, stirred within me as I began randomly opening files and exploring their content. Some brought joy and sweet memories; others a sense of shame and regret so intense that I would look over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching. A file named “Friends” was next to one marked “Friends I Have Betrayed.”

The titles ranged from the mundane to the outright weird. “Books I Have Read,” “Lies I Have Told,” “Comfort I Have Given,” “Jokes I Have Laughed At.” Some were almost hilarious in their exactness: “Things I’ve Yelled at My Brothers.” Others I couldn’t laugh at: “Things I Have Done in My Anger,” “Things I Have Muttered Under My Breath at My Parents.” I never ceased to be surprised by the contents. Often there were many more cards than I expected. Sometimes fewer than I hoped.

I was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of the life I had lived. Could it be possible that I had the time in my 20 years to write each of these thousands or even millions of cards? But each card confirmed this truth. Each was written in my own handwriting. Each signed with my signature.

When I pulled out the file marked “Songs I Have Listened To,” I realized the files grew to contain their contents. The cards were packed tightly, and yet after two or three yards, I hadn’t found the end of the file. I shut it, shamed, not so much by the quality of music, but more by the vast amount of time I knew that file represented.

When I came to a file marked “Lustful Thoughts,” I felt a chill run through my body. I pulled the file out only an inch, not willing to test its size, and drew out a card. I shuddered at its detailed content. I felt sick to think that such a moment had been recorded.

An almost animal rage broke on me. One thought dominated my mind: “No one must ever see these cards! No one must ever see this room! I have to destroy them!” In an insane frenzy I yanked the file out. Its size didn’t matter now. I had to empty it and burn the cards. But as I took it at one end and began pounding it on the floor, I could not dislodge a single card. I became desperate and pulled out a card, only to find it as strong as steel when I tried to tear it
[/font][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
Defeated and utterly helpless, I returned the file to its slot. Leaning my forehead against the wall, I let out a long, self-pitying sigh. And then I saw it. The title bore “People I Have Shared the Gospel With.” The handle was brighter than those around it, newer, almost unused. I pulled on its handle and a small box not more than three inches long fell into my hands. I could count the cards it contained on one hand.

And then the tears came. I began to weep. Sobs so deep that they hurt started in my stomach and shook through me. I fell on my knees and cried. I cried out of shame, from the overwhelming shame of it all. The rows of file shelves swirled in my tear-filled eyes. No one must ever, ever know of this room. I must lock it up and hide the key.

But then as I pushed away the tears, I saw Him. No, please not Him. Not here. Oh, anyone but Jesus.
[/font][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
I watched helplessly as He began to open the files and read the cards. I couldn’t bear to watch His response. And in the moments I could bring myself to look at His face, I saw a sorrow deeper than my own. He seemed to intuitively go to the worst boxes. Why did He have to read every one?

Finally He turned and looked at me from across the room. He looked at me with pity in His eyes. But this was a pity that didn’t anger me. I dropped my head, covered my face with my hands and began to cry again. He walked over and put His arm around me. He could have said so many things. But He didn’t say a word. He just cried with me.

Then He got up and walked back to the wall of files. Starting at one end of the room, He took out a file and, one by one, began to sign His name over mine on each card.

“No!” I shouted rushing to Him. All I could find to say was “No, no,” as I pulled the card from Him. His name shouldn’t be on these cards. But there it was, written in red so rich, so dark, so alive. The name of Jesus covered mine. It was written with His blood.

He gently took the card back. He smiled a sad smile and began to sign the cards. I don’t think I’ll ever understand how He did it so quickly, but the next instant it seemed I heard Him close the last file and walk back to my side. He placed His hand on my shoulder and said, “It is finished.”

I stood up, and He led me out of the room. There was no lock on its door. There were still cards to be written.[/font]

 

[Psyber freek]

wow, thats deep.

The bottom line is: Its better to be safe than sorry

 

[LovingMother]

jesus_freak_for_life,

Heed your avatar, your screen name, and your signature. Remember that Jesus did speak against fornication, and He doesn't want you to have sex outside of marriage. He cares about you and so do I.