Considering changing denomination...again.

[chevyontheriver]

I was attracted to the Catholic Church's strong stance on pro-life issues, their unchanging and very public positions on things that I felt were important. It was the first time that I had had any exposure to liturgical worship.

During those years I had kids. I was kind of busy with little kids. I had a lot of the same problems with Catholic church though with a lack of programs for kids. I tried several Catholic churches, trying to find one with nursery, or at least a cry room. TBH, I just didn't have the headspace to even think about it. I went to a different church to find one with a mom group, but it didn't work out.

I feel like I should be spending time with other believers. Neither the Catholic churches I've attended or the Orthodox leave much space for that beyond fellowship hour after Liturgy, which I spend hustling my kids, and have maybe a 5-minute conversation with someone else.

When I was first married the Catholic church I attended had a room for kids, that some parents volunteered to staff. Parents could leave their kids there for mass. I don't know if that continued. With the need for volunteers to have a security check before doing anything these days it may not have continued.

Then we moved. The Catholic church where we landed was bigger, had a school, opened a preschool a few years ago, but had the attitude that children should not be segregated from the community at mass. Children of all ages stay in the church for mass. The church has some men's groups, some women's groups, lots of educational and service opportunities for adults and teens. We have perpetual adoration for anyone to come to 24/7. I've done that for 25 years and am in a men's group that meets every two or three weeks.

I suspect that maybe your experience in the Catholic church was that it was a pretty small place. Or, if it is larger, it sounds a bit lethargic. Orthodox churches in America are often very small, and there is a real limit to what they can pull off if they are too small. My guess is your issue is somewhat related to size, and what can be pulled off. Am I getting it right?

 

[chevyontheriver]

Maybe what I'm looking for is just a bigger church, I'm not sure. But that really isn't an option where I live that isn't Baptist or Pentecostal. Actually, there are a couple of non-denominational.

Or, as you have done at the Orthodox place, and could have done at the Catholic one, get involved yourself to facilitate the things you (and others) need.

 

[ms.smith]

Or, as you have done at the Orthodox place, and could have done at the Catholic one, get involved yourself to facilitate the things you (and others) need.

I have. I offered to help with Sunday School (the only children's activity aside from less than monthly social events), I ended up being the sole teacher on a good percentage of occasions which I don't feel qualified or confident doing.

At the Catholic church (that I was a member of), I spoke with the Priest and the DRE about starting a nursery. I was turned down (they used to have one, converted the only space they'd use for it to an additional choir room). Told it was not feasible.

I get this suggestion a lot. If I'm struggling to have my needs met at church because I am so overwhelmed with my kids, adding the startup and management of an entire program to my plate is probably not the best thing to suggest.

 

[A_Thinker]

I get this suggestion a lot. If I'm struggling to have my needs met at church because I am so overwhelmed with my kids, adding the startup and management of an entire program to my plate is probably not the best thing to suggest.

I agree ...

 

[chevyontheriver]

I have. I offered to help with Sunday School (the only children's activity aside from less than monthly social events), I ended up being the sole teacher on a good percentage of occasions which I don't feel qualified or confident doing.

At the Catholic church (that I was a member of), I spoke with the Priest and the DRE about starting a nursery. I was turned down (they used to have one, converted the only space they'd use for it to an additional choir room). Told it was not feasible.

I get this suggestion a lot. If I'm struggling to have my needs met at church because I am so overwhelmed with my kids, adding the startup and management of an entire program to my plate is probably not the best thing to suggest.

Just a thought. Which of these churches has the higher ratio of children to adults?

 

[ms.smith]

When I was first married the Catholic church I attended had a room for kids, that some parents volunteered to staff. Parents could leave their kids there for mass. I don't know if that continued. With the need for volunteers to have a security check before doing anything these days it may not have continued.

Then we moved. The Catholic church where we landed was bigger, had a school, opened a preschool a few years ago, but had the attitude that children should not be segregated from the community at mass. Children of all ages stay in the church for mass. The church has some men's groups, some women's groups, lots of educational and service opportunities for adults and teens. We have perpetual adoration for anyone to come to 24/7. I've done that for 25 years and am in a men's group that meets every two or three weeks.

I suspect that maybe your experience in the Catholic church was that it was a pretty small place. Or, if it is larger, it sounds a bit lethargic. Orthodox churches in America are often very small, and there is a real limit to what they can pull off if they are too small. My guess is your issue is somewhat related to size, and what can be pulled off. Am I getting it right?

It may be related to size. The Orthodox Church has a few hundred people I am guessing, Catholic church probably several hundred, Baptist Church has several thousands. The Orthodox is the bigger of the two in the area, the Catholic the second largest probably. The Baptist Church is one of the largest, but there are several large churches about the same size.

 

[ms.smith]

Just a thought. Which of these churches has the higher ratio of children to adults?

I have no idea. The Catholic Church is hard because multiple Mass times and with the kids all sitting with their respective families, it is hard to tell. I get a feeling of the children in the Orthodox Church due to Sunday School and only one Divine Liturgy.

It is really super hard to compare at the Baptist Church because the total number of people is so large. There are tons of kids though.

 

[chevyontheriver]

I have no idea. The Catholic Church is hard because multiple Mass times and with the kids all sitting with their respective families, it is hard to tell. I get a feeling of the children in the Orthodox Church due to Sunday School and only one Divine Liturgy.

It is really super hard to compare at the Baptist Church because the total number of people is so large. There are tons of kids though.

I was just asking because I've noticed that as children form friendships through church or the parish school they start hanging out with each other and taking some pressure off of all of the parents, giving the parents time to relate with each other. That would be difficult if the number of children was sparse. Easier if it was a child rich environment.

Sounds like the Baptists have the larger church and they have more capacity for programs to occupy children and give some relief to worn out moms. Is that what it is really coming down to?

 

[ms.smith]

I was just asking because I've noticed that as children form friendships through church or the parish school they start hanging out with each other and taking some pressure off of all of the parents, giving the parents time to relate with each other. That would be difficult if the number of children was sparse. Easier if it was a child rich environment.

Sounds like the Baptists have the larger church and they have more capacity for programs to occupy children and give some relief to worn out moms. Is that what it is really coming down to?

It is definitely a part of it. I may also be a longing to raise my children the way I was raised, instead of something completely different. A security in the known.

Church was a huge part of my childhood, my best friends throughout all of my childhood we're from church. I still remember my Sunday school teachers. I was in Sunday morning and night activities, I did choir my entire childhood, I learned to read music playing handbells for years, I took guitar lessons in youth and participated in a drama group for a few years.

 

[ms.smith]

I homeschool, we can't afford private school, so my kids wouldn't have friends from school. Neither the Catholic Church I attended nor the Orthodox had schools.

 

[ms.smith]

Baptist Church only has preschool and MDO, my kids have attended MDO there for years. But that is as high as their school type programs go.

 

[ripple the car]

It is definitely a part of it. I may also be a longing to raise my children the way I was raised, instead of something completely different. A security in the known.

Church was a huge part of my childhood, my best friends throughout all of my childhood we're from church. I still remember my Sunday school teachers. I was in Sunday morning and night activities, I did choir my entire childhood, I learned to read music playing handbells for years, I took guitar lessons in youth and participated in a drama group for a few years.

Well, honestly, Ms. Smith, 18 months is not that long. It's only a year and a half. Lots of activities for kids can be a great thing, but it might be helpful to ask yourself what lead you on the journey you are now on, and what are you seeking? Are you seeking something that feels and smells familiar and comforting, or are you seeking something else?

 

[ms.smith]

Well, honestly, Ms. Smith, 18 months is not that long. It's only a year and a half. Lots of activities for kids can be a great thing, but it might be helpful to ask yourself what lead you on the joyrney you are now on, and what are you seeking? Are you seeking something that feels and smells familiar and comforting, or are you seeking something else?

Just because something is familiar does not make it bad.

I was surprised when I saw how many people actually had their Bibles in church. I have not seen a Bible out in Liturgy (the reading is in the bulletin and read aloud). There were so many Bible pages turning, even though the verses we're read aloud and on the big screen. I heard a very applicable message in Sunday school (the adult one), it was refreshing to be taught something on my level.
I also attended a mom group last night at the Baptist Church. It was uplifting to fellowship with other believers. I have needed that fellowship in my life.

I get that Catholic and Orthodox churches see the family as a whole that should worship together. But I appreciate that the Baptist Church sees me also as a person, and has things to help me as an individual, not just as a family. Yes, I am a mom, and I am a wife, but I am also a person. I need fellowship with people like me sometimes.

 

[ripple the car]

Just because something is familiar does not make it bad.

I was surprised when I saw how many people actually had their Bibles in church. I have not seen a Bible out in Liturgy (the reading is in the bulletin and read aloud). There were so many Bible pages turning, even though the verses we're read aloud and on the big screen. I heard a very applicable message in Sunday school (the adult one), it was refreshing to be taught something on my level.
I also attended a mom group last night at the Baptist Church. It was uplifting to fellowship with other believers. I have needed that fellowship in my life.

I get that Catholic and Orthodox churches see the family as a whole that should worship together. But I appreciate that the Baptist Church sees me also as a person, and has things to help me as an individual, not just as a family. Yes, I am a mom, and I am a wife, but I am also a person. I need fellowship with people like me sometimes.

But you still haven't answered.... and this is not an attack, but a sincere question. When you left the Baptist church for an Apostolic one, what were you seeking, and what are you currently seeking?

 

[ms.smith]

But you still haven't answered.... and this is not an attack, but a sincere question. When you left the Baptist church for an Apostolic one, what were you seeking, and what are you currently seeking?

I left the Baptist Church originally for roughly 5 years of non church attendance.

I found the Catholic Church and it was different. I was drawn by the social stances. I was attracted to the beauty of the Mass and the clear guidelines and rituals. The sacrament of confession helped me to heal some long term habitual sins. I began to feel a lot like I feel now, that I was and would always be an outsider, the only weirdo who keeps asking about childcare. No friends, no fellowship, no meaningful spiritual instruction or opportunities for growth outside Sunday services.

 

[ripple the car]

I left the Baptist Church originally for roughly 5 years of non church attendance.

I found the Catholic Church and it was different. I was drawn by the social stances. I was attracted to the beauty of the Mass and the clear guidelines and rituals. The sacrament of confession helped me to heal some long term habitual sins. I began to feel a lot like I feel now, that I was and would always be an outsider, the only weirdo who keeps asking about childcare. No friends, no fellowship, no meaningful spiritual instruction or opportunities for growth outside Sunday services.

This is going to sound bleak, but.... our spiritual lives are often dry. And lonely.

Many, many Protestant churches are great with fellowship, warmth, coffee, activities, groups, and friendliness, that is true. Very true.

But if we seek friendship and warmth and comfort and connections that feel familiar, we may, in a very real way, be depriving ourselves of something much better.

I hear you. It can be lonely. But our spiritual lives in Christ are sometimes meant to reflect Gethsemane, more than the Resurrection. Just saying.

I would still say, that 18 months is not much. Have you checked out The Ancient Way over here? It's full of folks who joined an EO church, like you. They have stories, frustrations, questions, and struggles, too, and most are converts. I would learn more about where you are, and help yourself understand Orthodoxy better with fellow Christians before you think of leaving. Just give it a thought. Will pray for you.

Here it is;

The Ancient Way - Eastern Orthodox

 

[ms.smith]

This is going to sound bleak, but.... our spiritual lives are often dry. And lonely.

Many, many Protestant churches are great with fellowship, warmth, coffee, activities, groups, and friendliness, that is true. Very true.

But if we seek friendship and warmth and comfort and connections that feel familiar, we may, in a very real way, be depriving ourselves of something much better.

I hear you. It can be lonely. But our spiritual lives in Christ are sometimes meant to reflect Gethsemane, more than the Resurrection. Just saying.

I would still say, that 18 months is not much. Have you checked out The Ancient Way over here? It's full of folks who joined an EO church, like you. They have stories, frustrations, questions, and struggles, too, and most are converts. I would learn more about where you are, and help yourself understand Orthodoxy better with fellow Christians before you think of leaving. Just give it a thought. Will pray for you.

Here it is;

The Ancient Way - Eastern Orthodox

Thank you, I have browsed that section of these forums as well as many other sections. I will go explore it more.

I have prayed for months and months about the decision to move forward with becoming Orthodox. I have not felt or seen that it is right for me yet.

I decided to try Baptist Church without a significant amount of pre-planning, just went. Started praying about it and I feel like I am seeing signs everywhere. Every time I turn on the radio. Every time I talk to someone.

I worry it is all in my head though. But I swear, a pointed message about returning to the local church family you left was on the radio today when I turned it on after the gym.

 

[mama2one]

we attend more than one church and our child either attends Sunday school or sits with us depending on the church

 

[ms.smith]

we attend more than one church and our child either attends Sunday school or sits with us depending on the church

do like churches where bringing Bibles/taking notes happens, where the Pastor says "write this down"
didn't grow up with that at church and like having notes to go back and look at

child likes Sunday school but I also like when we're at a church where she sits with us but she doesn't have the attention span sitting with us

we're the only ones I know that go to more than one church but it works for our family

I've thought about this, but it seems confusing for my kids. I have 3 kids, it's a different dynamic. It may be how things work in the short term though.

 

[chevyontheriver]

I homeschool, we can't afford private school, so my kids wouldn't have friends from school. Neither the Catholic Church I attended nor the Orthodox had schools.

That's too bad that none of those places have schools. My parents, with my dad as a public school teacher, kept us out of public schools. And it was my intent with my own children to do the same, sending them to Catholic schools. Seeing the moral wasteland of much public school education, it was imperative for us to do that. We found good and faithful schools that were a blessing for my children. But the start was rocky. My eldest daughter was ready for kindergarten at the local Catholic school and both my wife and I lost our jobs a short time before the school year was to start. So we went in basically to say we could no longer afford to send her there. They surprised us totally and gave her a full scholarship that year, telling us not to worry about it. Point being you might get financial aid so never say you can't afford it. But then homeschooling can be good too and way more affordable. Good for you for doing it