Hello I am a new member to chistianforums.com. I have been waying things out between myself and wanted to at least get this story out, see if anyone has some advice as how I can get over this hump in my life.
Well... All my life my father has been a pastor. So all my life I've been a PK(pastors kid
). We have moved alot, my mother and father are both Canadian, now American citizens, I was born in North Carolina my sister in Oklahoma. My father had previously Pastored in quite a few churchs and for the most part people seemed to really enjoy him. The latest church my father had preached at was in the state of Ohio. Into coming upon this church, it was in debt of 18,000 dollars. Now this church had once had hundreds of people attend, but once we reached it, there was but 40 at best. Over the years I grew to have a 2yr relationship with the assistant pastors daughter, and the church grew, from it's debt striken state of 40 or so people, to now a thriving church with around 130attendees. At this time I was 15.
Everything seemed so grand in my life. Tons of people around to support my family, a beautiful girlfriend, and I was doing decent in school. I felt as though "I had it made". (on a side note, I hope this isn't to long of a post seeing as it IS my first, but i just want you all to know the information) Anyhow, my father was very good friends with alot of the men in the congregation. One of then, let's say his name was "john", Had taken us, along with his family to hawaii. Another family I was close to, always had me over and we had quite alot of fun. My girlfriends family, though i was the "boyfriend", had accepted me quite well. Yes, everything seemed amazing and i thought it would stay like this.
My father had been loud in his sermons, preaching the truth to those who would listen. His board of elders(that is a group of the "higher ups" in the church that form a councle like setting to give my father advice and such) seemed to follow him and support him... heh, boy was i wrong.
This was and in a way still is, my dilema. He had asked this boared of elders, very VERY close people to my father, and my family, to sign a document. Though I had not read it fully, it had asked that the elders refrain from drinking(outside the house), smoking, and looking at pornography. Mainly to live as a christian should. Next thing I knew, many of the "old crowed" had started to degraid my father and his work, calling him a liar or coward. I know in my heart my father was in the right on this. As time progressed, over only a year, my fathers best friend John, had even left the church do to the other members of his family. Not only that but Now my girlfriend had left me saying "it was God's voice". Which clearly i knew not to be the case. Two years with literally someone i thought I would be with for forever had been for naught.
To carry on with the church, my father had preached there for six long years. Over that period of time, the people that are against my father, the members had alot going on. Let me give you some demonstrations:
Our praise and worship singer, found out that her husband was a homosexual. Instead of anyone giving her a cold shoulder, my father had a offering takin for her and that helped her through a few months until she had landed a job.
Another couple, our bass player(also a elder) and his wife a vocalist(their family very close to ours) had their son hit by a truck that was going 50mph. My father stayed up for days at a time praying for that boys recovery, and to this day, that boy walks.
Another couple, our drum player and his wife, were barren. Every month for anointing they would come, my father prayed weekly for this people. Now they have two beautiful children.
My family was going through a rough time when some of the people left the church. A pastor friend of my fathers had a food drive at his church for my family. That helped us get past 2 very harsh months, and we thank him graciously for it.
The list goes on and on with heartfelt acts and miracles that only were gifted by God. Yet for every example i had given to you, each... each and every single one at some point turned on my father... stole from the church... threatened to have my father thrown into jail. You may be asking yourself, well surely your father must have done SOMETHING. My father had to sell the church, and to maintain our family living. They accused my father of embezelment! The pastor that had helped our family? Asked for the land, for the church, for the money. My father denied this request. Guess what happened? No no... he didn't say ok well let myself, my family, and my congregation help you out as you are nearly peniless. Instead he joined every single last exampled person i gave you. He joined them in a attempt to through my father into jail.
In the time that they did this, my father found out one of our elders bought a car under the churches name, so as to not pay taxes. During this time we found our bass player had stolen ground equipment from the church. During this time we found out that assistant director, who was also the media director, had stolen endless numbers of sound, video, and other misc. equipment. As for the others not listed? all but a handful, 40 people or so(ahhhh forshadowing) had but trusted my father this far.
And so formed a full circle. As for what happened after that, the church disolved and our family has moved far from that region of the states. So this thread was started, NOT to give you my lifes story, but to simply ask this question: How do I get rid of this hurt? People i viewed as relatives, family, a lover, a 2nd father, a uncle, a brother, a loyal group of people. How do I unscar my heart from the hurt. The hurt of the people i held most dear to me... a congregational hurt. I can bairly go to a church nowadays and go, "Huh... i wonder when that person will betray me." or "Hmm wonder what they are planning" My life with God is nearly over it feels. I don't want this, I LOVE MY LORD AND SAVIOR. I am literally in tears right now about how i've been driven from God, and how i've become cold hearted. I know that above all else he's been there for me. And i've taken him for granted.
I thank all of you who have read my story, i hope this can help you in some way, and help me as well. I just want at least ONE person to know this story. It's so tough keeping it all bottled inside. I just want to know how i can open my heart to the people of God again.
Thank you,
Szell
Well... All my life my father has been a pastor. So all my life I've been a PK(pastors kid
). We have moved alot, my mother and father are both Canadian, now American citizens, I was born in North Carolina my sister in Oklahoma. My father had previously Pastored in quite a few churchs and for the most part people seemed to really enjoy him. The latest church my father had preached at was in the state of Ohio. Into coming upon this church, it was in debt of 18,000 dollars. Now this church had once had hundreds of people attend, but once we reached it, there was but 40 at best. Over the years I grew to have a 2yr relationship with the assistant pastors daughter, and the church grew, from it's debt striken state of 40 or so people, to now a thriving church with around 130attendees. At this time I was 15.Everything seemed so grand in my life. Tons of people around to support my family, a beautiful girlfriend, and I was doing decent in school. I felt as though "I had it made". (on a side note, I hope this isn't to long of a post seeing as it IS my first, but i just want you all to know the information) Anyhow, my father was very good friends with alot of the men in the congregation. One of then, let's say his name was "john", Had taken us, along with his family to hawaii. Another family I was close to, always had me over and we had quite alot of fun. My girlfriends family, though i was the "boyfriend", had accepted me quite well. Yes, everything seemed amazing and i thought it would stay like this.
My father had been loud in his sermons, preaching the truth to those who would listen. His board of elders(that is a group of the "higher ups" in the church that form a councle like setting to give my father advice and such) seemed to follow him and support him... heh, boy was i wrong.
This was and in a way still is, my dilema. He had asked this boared of elders, very VERY close people to my father, and my family, to sign a document. Though I had not read it fully, it had asked that the elders refrain from drinking(outside the house), smoking, and looking at pornography. Mainly to live as a christian should. Next thing I knew, many of the "old crowed" had started to degraid my father and his work, calling him a liar or coward. I know in my heart my father was in the right on this. As time progressed, over only a year, my fathers best friend John, had even left the church do to the other members of his family. Not only that but Now my girlfriend had left me saying "it was God's voice". Which clearly i knew not to be the case. Two years with literally someone i thought I would be with for forever had been for naught.
To carry on with the church, my father had preached there for six long years. Over that period of time, the people that are against my father, the members had alot going on. Let me give you some demonstrations:
Our praise and worship singer, found out that her husband was a homosexual. Instead of anyone giving her a cold shoulder, my father had a offering takin for her and that helped her through a few months until she had landed a job.
Another couple, our bass player(also a elder) and his wife a vocalist(their family very close to ours) had their son hit by a truck that was going 50mph. My father stayed up for days at a time praying for that boys recovery, and to this day, that boy walks.
Another couple, our drum player and his wife, were barren. Every month for anointing they would come, my father prayed weekly for this people. Now they have two beautiful children.
My family was going through a rough time when some of the people left the church. A pastor friend of my fathers had a food drive at his church for my family. That helped us get past 2 very harsh months, and we thank him graciously for it.
The list goes on and on with heartfelt acts and miracles that only were gifted by God. Yet for every example i had given to you, each... each and every single one at some point turned on my father... stole from the church... threatened to have my father thrown into jail. You may be asking yourself, well surely your father must have done SOMETHING. My father had to sell the church, and to maintain our family living. They accused my father of embezelment! The pastor that had helped our family? Asked for the land, for the church, for the money. My father denied this request. Guess what happened? No no... he didn't say ok well let myself, my family, and my congregation help you out as you are nearly peniless. Instead he joined every single last exampled person i gave you. He joined them in a attempt to through my father into jail.
In the time that they did this, my father found out one of our elders bought a car under the churches name, so as to not pay taxes. During this time we found our bass player had stolen ground equipment from the church. During this time we found out that assistant director, who was also the media director, had stolen endless numbers of sound, video, and other misc. equipment. As for the others not listed? all but a handful, 40 people or so(ahhhh forshadowing
) had but trusted my father this far.And so formed a full circle. As for what happened after that, the church disolved and our family has moved far from that region of the states. So this thread was started, NOT to give you my lifes story, but to simply ask this question: How do I get rid of this hurt? People i viewed as relatives, family, a lover, a 2nd father, a uncle, a brother, a loyal group of people. How do I unscar my heart from the hurt. The hurt of the people i held most dear to me... a congregational hurt. I can bairly go to a church nowadays and go, "Huh... i wonder when that person will betray me." or "Hmm wonder what they are planning" My life with God is nearly over it feels. I don't want this, I LOVE MY LORD AND SAVIOR. I am literally in tears right now about how i've been driven from God, and how i've become cold hearted. I know that above all else he's been there for me. And i've taken him for granted.
I thank all of you who have read my story, i hope this can help you in some way, and help me as well. I just want at least ONE person to know this story. It's so tough keeping it all bottled inside. I just want to know how i can open my heart to the people of God again.
Thank you,
Szell
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It is in Acts 3:26. Pray that God will turn them away from iniquity, which is sin and moral depravity. Also, what better blessing can there be than to know Christ? So here is what I pray for my enemies--for God to turn them away from sin, and to reveal Christ to them instead. Even if they are saved, they obviously need this blessing.
