confusion

[BigEd]

hello Everyone,

 This is sort of a request for prayer and advice. The last few weeks of my life have been quite intense. Its been a time of powerful communion and fellowship with the Lord, but also a time of strugle, confusion and depression for me. I has swung between these extremes. it really comes down to three situations:

1. The Lord is calling me to  minister to my own town. Its a mission of praying for the town, and also evanglizing. what I strugle with is the evanglizing, I have a fear of evangelizing to people, I have a fear of connecting to strangers. I know part of this is spirtual attack. The Lord has shown me quite bit during this time, but i also strugle with doubt about all this, I sometimes feel I'm being foolish, I feel alone in all this. Still I feel the strong pull by the Holy Spirit to go out and walk and pray( which i have been doing most days).

2. During all this me and my wife have struggle with bad finacial problems, we can see the light at the end of the tunnel. But it has been very tough it has strained our relationship at times. this has all just added to my confusion , concerning #1.

3. Also I'm back to work, my job can be quite intense and draining ( i work with special needs children) which by itself is quite managable, add with the 2 above add to the presure.

In a nutshell I just feel overwhelmed by it all. My moods has swung from be accepting and joyfull, to being depressed and angry and feeling sorry for myself. I have prayed much on this. in some ways I have post on all this before, but in a scatered sort of way, it only been over the last few days i have seen these thread come together.

Anyway I would be grateful for your prayer and any guidance or advice you could give.

 

 

[fieldmouse3]

I'm not coming up with much in the way of advice, but I'll pray for you!

 

[wvmtnkid]

Hi Big Ed!

I'll be praying for God to fill you with the peace of the Holy Spirit and to give the boldness and courage for the plans He has for you!

 

[Auntie]

Praying for you, BigEd.

Sometimes I look at the WHOLE picture, and get overwhelmed by everything. Try to take everything "One Day At a Time". My husband is always telling me to focus on ONE thing.

 

[Blessed-one]

i can totally understand the fear regarding evangelism. I once tried evangelising on the street and ended up refusing to do it again. (but i learnt the technique, at least) But for my mum, who was just as afraid as i was, she was doing a pretty good job. There's a streak about her.. she's not afraid to do things needed doing even when she IS afraid, and i guess that sort of pushed her into doing it and making it happen for the Lord.

i'll be praying for you.

 

[sbbqb7n16]

Exodus 4:10-12 ->
" Moses said to the Lord, 'Oh lord, I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tounge.'
The Lord said to him, 'Who gave man his mouth? Who makes him deaf or mute? Who gives him sight or makes him blind? Is it not I, the Lord? Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say'"

Dude it looks like you're developing "Moses syndrome" (my term... feel free to use it ) You are doubting yourself in what you have been called to do, rather than trusting in God to guide and teach you through it all. Now yes this is a major form of spiritual attack. Just focus on God. Ingore your doubts.... but rather "Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you. (1 Peter 5:7)"

Point 2...

Isaiah 33:15-16 ->
"He who walks righteously and speaks what is right, who rejects gain from extortion and keeps his hand from accepting bribes, who stops his ears against plots of murder and shuts his eyes against contemplating evil-- this is the man who will dwell on the heights, whose refuge will be the mountain fortress. His bread will be supplied and water will not fail him."

Your money problems are temporary, but God is forever. He has promised in His Word that the man who meets the above requirements or more commonly referred to as "seeks first the kingdom and it's righteousness," will have everything he needs to carry out what God has in store for him. If God is calling you to do what you said, He will provide your substinence throughout the duration of your calling. Get ready to be like the Isrealites in the desert... you may not know where your food is coming from, but at least you know it's coming

And point 3.....

Read Blessed Ones sig (ha that BO if you shorthand it lol ) That verse so says everything you need. Devoting your life to bettering "the least of these" is a supremely worthy calling! But don't get tired of doing what is right! Keep it up and rely upon God, who's "strength is made perfect in our weakness." And "will never leave you nor forsake you" God is with you man. He's rooting for you, and He loves that you are seeking after His will! Keep on "running the race set before you" and be prepared to win your prize! God bless you sir!

 

[BigEd]

Thank you all , for your encouragment, counsel and pray!

 

[GraftMeIn]

Praying for you BigEd

 

[altya]

Im praying for you too.

 

[Blynn]

I am praying for you and your wife.

 

[Gerry]

Love you Big Ed. God has a plan!

 

[SavedByGrace3]

Dearest brother,

Know that love drives out all fear. You have been given the power, the strength, the anointing to do the will and work of God. Love will do what you need to have done. Love drives a parent into a burning house to save a child. Love presses a man to forsake all he has to marry and become one with his bride. Love constrains us to minister to a world so lost in darkness that it cannot see the danger that looms so heavy over them. Oh dear saint, go to those who you would minister to; see their pains; their sorrows; their sickness and confusion. Consider the Lord who is their saviour and the only hope they have for deliverance. Feel His compassion well up within you and speak to the need. Speak forth from your love. Speak from the treasury of the Word that He has planted into your spirit.

Your words, which are truly His words, will be spirit and life to those that hear them.

You are not alone dear friend. He is with you, along side every moment. He in within  every love filled word. His power in every faith filled pronouncement.

Be strong in the power of His might, and let His word live and be mighty in those who hear it.

Didaskalos