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confusion sets in..
- Thread starter bluepenguin
- Start date
elisablaze
Junior Member
possibly she feels God is telling her not to date at the moment so she can grow in Him?
i say don't focus on the dating part but get to know her as a friend and let things happen naturally.
i am a strong believer in things happening when the time is right.
other than that i don't really know what to say
~Melissa
i say don't focus on the dating part but get to know her as a friend and let things happen naturally.
i am a strong believer in things happening when the time is right.
other than that i don't really know what to say
~Melissa
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Melissa is right, don't call it dating. Instead call it 'hanging out', going to the movies etc... The key is to initially use synonyms to override her resistance to "dating" you. After awhile, when you know she's into you, tell her some girl has been asking around about dating you but you feel weird about it because you are such good friends with 'girl who doesn't date', at this point she may not be opposed to "dating" you.
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desi said:
Edit As this is a Christian forum I should mention my advice is not perfect as I suggested you tell a lie. My advice is from personal experience from an unGodly time in my life. If your intentions are pure and its meant to be God will probably help you out so the lie becomes unnecessary. Edit
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DaveKerwin
Represent the Most High
some girls say anti-dating because it is the new thing they read in a book, or maybe they were taught that from long ago. Sometimes girls say they are "called to be single" because they are afraid to tell you that they are not interested. If you realy want this girl, just go for it. Spend time with her when you can, see if things change.
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With some of the 'dating' shows on TV (Blind Date, 5th Wheel, etc) I'm not surprised she's anti-dating. My girlfriend and I hung out officially as 'good friends' for 6 months before declaring each other as boyfriend/girlfriend. Part of it was building up trust for each other.
As for those dating shows, besides being totally gross, they encourage dating as a social activity that includes kissing and much more that's highly inappropriate for people that just got to know each other. I guess I kinda believe that dating is an activity to be done between couples that see a potential to marry. Many of the couples in the dating shows have no intentions of marrying each other.
Enslow
As for those dating shows, besides being totally gross, they encourage dating as a social activity that includes kissing and much more that's highly inappropriate for people that just got to know each other. I guess I kinda believe that dating is an activity to be done between couples that see a potential to marry. Many of the couples in the dating shows have no intentions of marrying each other.
Enslow
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desi said:
Be herself and enjoy going out. Don't kiss on the first date. Don't hold hands on the first date. I know it's tempting, but if it's a first date, you're holding hands out of infatuation. If that is the case, you might be lucky and it develops into love.
Oh yeah, and don't look at each other, make sure every piece of skin is covered (eye holes and breathing holes are ok), make sure you're in the company of crowds of adults at least 30 years your senior, and make sure you return your date home by 7pm!
Enslow
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desi said:
BEEEEEEP.
Lying is NEVER necessary if you're trying to snag a female. Selfish motives will make the possibility of the relationship lasting to decrease exponentially, as you may realize. 
I'll give you props for adding the disclaimer, though.
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I say make the assumption that she's telling the truth and take her seriously. Assume she knows what's best for herself. Respect her decision to pursue God and acknowledge that she has every right to do so. If that's what she's going to do, don't push it. In my opinion, it's out of line to try to persuade her to change her mind.
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For me, I'd suggest just do your best to become good friends with her, my current girlfriend and first girlfriend of now almost 11 months met online through a mutual friend, and unfortunately we live around 500 miles apart, so we couldn't spend any actual time together, but we just talked and talked online and both of us got to the point that we liked each other, though I didn't really realize how much I cared for her as more than just a friend, she finally told me how she felt, and it took me a few days, cause I didn't do the online dating thing, but I prayed about it and I felt right about dating her, so I said yes, but yeah, just spend as much time as you can with her and let her really get to know the real you, and don't worry about the "dating" aspect of it as yet, cause even if it doesn't turn into something more, just think, you gained a great friend, anywho, I'll shutup now and let others talk, just my two cents worth -Nathan
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Lizzi4Christ
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M
moemily1826
Guest
i feel that you CAN date and STILL be close to God in my relationship moe helped me get closer to God i was a wreck when he met me i was so far away from God adn i didnt know what i was doing and he helped me he alwasy prayd and still prays with em everynite people think you cant be close to God and be in a relationship but i think you can but if she feels God doesnt want her to date now maybe she just needs time be a friend for her if thats what she needs talk to her and get to know her let her be able to trust you and just have faith and pray
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