Confusion about Confession

[ejgsmalls]

Okay, so I know there is a thread already about the need and importance for confession...but I get that..my problem is actually going. That doesn't exactly make sense..okay So I was raised catholic and made my first reconcilliation in fourth grade, but that was the only time I went. And now, nine years later, I am strongly considering it and I want to go again...but I am nervous about going. I am afraid to admit it has been nine years, and I am afraid I will mess up somehow..like I am not sure how I do it or something. I have talked to a friend about it, but I am still scared, and I feel like when I go, I will have no idea what to do...and I was told that the procedure of confession is not a set in stone thing, but could someone just explain it to me please? I really want to get over this fear and go, but I am just nervous. Thanks.

God Bless,
~Mary

 

[marciadietrich]

You might have confession in a confessional or it might be face to face.

The priest will usually start with a prayer. Then you say "Father bless me for I have sinned it has been 9 years since my last confession." Add that you were a child then, and that you are nervous. He's there to help you not hurt you!

When you list your sins you don't have to give gorey details, just a general thing like I lied, I stole something, lust, was jealous or envious. Give an idea of how often, if it was just once, or once a week, a few times, even just often so he has a guage of how attached you are to particular sins. Then let him know you are done listing sins.

At that point he'll assign penance and likely give you some advice. When he is done with that he will likely ask if you would like to say an act of contrition, but if you cry he might just skip that and go right to the absolution.

An act of contrition can be as simple as "Lord Jesus have mercy on me a sinner..." though you can also expand on that, give an indication of sorrow for sin and a resolve to not sin again with God's grace.

The priest will speak the words of absolution, if you are face to face he might put his hand on your head. At the amen, you're done. Say thank you.

It can be nerve wracking but that is mostly in our own minds, the priest isn't going to bite.

Marcia

 

[GK]

Nothing wrong with telling the priest just what you told us here. Tell him you're scared and unsure. He'll walk you through it. You might consider making an appointment rather than showing up during the standard confession time so you have time and aren't worried about holding up other people.

 

[mrtsc]

This is my biggest problem, too, and basically the only thing keeping me from fully being a Catholic again... I'm terrified! I know the priests have 'heard it all' but there's some stuff I'm just really embarrassed to say out loud. What level of detail do I need to go into? Ughhh!

 

[marciadietrich]

I'm going to say that you guys cannot, absolutely cannot, remotely, possibly embarrass yourself more in confession than I have. Really, I think I win. Don't let fear hold you back.

Marcia

 

[geocajun]

ejgs,
First i'm glad to hear you desire to get yourself to confession! God is calling you, and you should not resist.
When I returned to the Church, I had to tell the priest it'd been 16 yrs since my last confession - don't worry about it, there is much rejoicing in heaven over even 1 repentant sinner.

 

[mrtsc]

It's not so much fear that I'll mess up (though I haven't confessed since my First Confession 8 years ago, so I don't exactly know how), but just fear of mentioning a few things in particular. Plus, I think I'd need to set up a special confession since it's only offered at my church for 1/2 an hour each week, and I don't want to use the whole time for myself! :razz: There are just so many questions I would like answered first...

 

[CorTortilla]

Do you happen to know how many times your priest forgives sins in conffession? How about thousands of times a year. Unless it was something really serious where the person went in huge details about a legacy of where they cheated on their spouse and now are repenting but seek forgiveness then he probably won't remember. If you come in and say "I have sinned by having lustful thoughts/action" then he truthfully won't care nor remember. Priests are very busy people.

 

[mrtsc]

Yeah, that's just the thing, though! Most of them are basics: lust, sexual misconduct, stealing, etc, but there's one in particular that to confess it I'd have to go into detail and it's VERY bad. No one suffered in any way or even found it, but it was a really reprehensible thing to do. It's not like I think the priest will always look at me from then on as the 'guy who did such-and-such,' it's just that it's such an embarrassing and personal thing! Like I said though, I have tons of questions about confession, so if you're patient and have some knowledge about confession I'd really appreciate if you PMed me.

 

[ejgsmalls]

Thank you very much for the replies...I am still nervous though...I mean I am not one of those people who easily prays out loud in front of people...do you get to pick if you are face to face or not...I remember at my first reconcilliation (the only one I've been to) I was standing face to face with the priest, and it was actually on the altar why everyone else was waiting in the pews...and honestly I was freaked - is it like that all the time?

God Bless,
~Mary

 

[QuantaCura]

You guys sound exactly like me a few years back. I never went to confession and I was super scared of going once I finally decided to go again. Then, I got in there and the priest was SOOO happy that I was coming back to confession. It was great. I was scared for nothing. Trust me, as someone who did the "I'll just confess to God" thing for a while, confession is sooo much better. And it's normal to feel embarrassed--confession is supposed to be humbling--it's good for ya


By the way, you can go face to face or the behind the screen


Just remember too, the priest has heard it all! It probably gives them the greatest joy to minister God's forgiveness for the greatest sins!

 

[geocajun]

Thank you very much for the replies...I am still nervous though...I mean I am not one of those people who easily prays out loud in front of people...do you get to pick if you are face to face or not...I remember at my first reconcilliation (the only one I've been to) I was standing face to face with the priest, and it was actually on the altar why everyone else was waiting in the pews...and honestly I was freaked - is it like that all the time?

God Bless,
~Mary

Priests are not usually sitting in the sactuary to hear confessions - but that does happen sometimes at the 'penance services' where there are excess of 100 people in attendence for confession and multiple priests.

Normally speaking, you will have the choice of going face to face, or behind the screen. Some churches like mine do not have a face to face option as the preference of the Church is that we be behind the screen.

 

[mrtsc]

Another thing I'm worried about regarding the Penance he'll assign: If I tell him I stole a pack of cigarettes from my grandmother ( ) in the past, is there a chance he'd tell me to go pay her back or something? It seems to me that would just create a lot more problems...

 

[QuantaCura]

Another thing I'm worried about regarding the Penance he'll assign: If I tell him I stole a pack of cigarettes from my grandmother ( ) in the past, is there a chance he'd tell me to go pay her back or something? It seems to me that would just create a lot more problems...

Probably not. If you think a penance will cause problems, tell him. He may have you give a little money to a charity instead or maybe to just do something nice for your grandma without telling her why