Confusing, funny, and Authority related Answer Machine Joles

[† Soldier Of Christ †]

Authority related

The President is not in his office at this time. Please leave your name, phone number, the name of the country you wish to invade, and the secret password

You have reached the Strategic Air Command Nuclear Missile Storage Facility. We are unable to come to the phone right now. At the tone, please leave your name, number, and target or list of targets, and we'll launch as soon as we can. And have a nice day.

E'llo. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Leave your name and number, and prepare to die.

Militaristic mechanical voice: FOXTROT-LIMA-ALPHA-SIERRA-HOTEL. KEY-DESTRUCT-SEQUENCE-NOW. THIS-TERMINAL-ALSO-ACCEPTS-VOICE-MESSAGES

You just dialed into the North American Air Defense Contract Center. Stand by at the tone to give coordinates and destination of incoming bogey. TNR Surveillance will scramble. If you do not respond, this unit will assume incoming, non-urgent

Hello, this is Death. I am not in right now, but if you leave your name and number, I'll be right with you.

Confuse or stun the caller

(Recorded directly from AT&T We're sorry, but the number you dialed is disconnected or no longer in service.

The party you dialed is not available. Your call is being diverted to an alternate number. Please stand by... (Ring...) The number you dialed must be dialed by your 0 operator. (Click, beep, dial tone.)

(Gameshow-announcer voice Hello, and welcome to Phone Tag! (Cheers in background.) If you'd like to join the game, please leave your name and number at the beep, and we'll try to reach you when you're not around. And thanks once again for playing Phone Tag!

That is all for now

 

[relientk]

Or play really annoying songs like from the 60's

 

[cat has felt the light!]

hey this is the fridge, the answer machine is on holiday right now but he said you'd know what to do.