Confused

[madison1101]

Don't know how I am supposed to feel about this one. I just learned in a round about way that my ex's uncle has prostate cancer. Ex told the kids about it last week, when he was diagnosed and operated on. I don't understand why none of my kids told me about this. I used to visit the uncle with my ex when we would go visit my ex's grandparents, as uncle lives on the property grandparents live on.

I feel so left out anymore. I know I am not in his family, but I can still pray for this man and his kids. His kids are my kids' ages, as he is only 10 years older than I am. I just don't understand why my kids haven't told me about this. I spoke with each of my kids today, so it's not like they couldn't tell me.

I really need to pray about this. I am really confused and frustrated.

Madison

 

[bliz]

How old are your kids? Well, no matter how old they are, they do tend to focus on themselves. It may not have been that important to them, or really made it on to their radar screens or come back to mind when they spoke to you or they may have figured it was up to their Dad to tell you. I wouldn't read too much into it.

If you are moved to do so, I would not hesitate to go and visit the Uncle or send him a card or whatever is appropriate. It may have made things easier to seperate yourself from your ex's whole family for a time, but this is someone you know and spent time with. I think that your concern and attention would be most welcome.

 

[madison1101]

How old are your kids? Well, no matter how old they are, they do tend to focus on themselves. It may not have been that important to them, or really made it on to their radar screens or come back to mind when they spoke to you or they may have figured it was up to their Dad to tell you. I wouldn't read too much into it.

If you are moved to do so, I would not hesitate to go and visit the Uncle or send him a card or whatever is appropriate. It may have made things easier to seperate yourself from your ex's whole family for a time, but this is someone you know and spent time with. I think that your concern and attention would be most welcome.

Thanks. My kids are all adults, and they live out of state. The uncle lives 6 hours away, and I am not sure if I have his address. Thanks for the suggestion.

Madison

 

[heartnsoul]

The next time you chat with your kids, why not (in passing) just ask them why they didn't tell you? Maybe your kids are just being sensitive and caring to your feelings...since they know how you feel about your ex-inlaws, so maybe they thought you wouldn't care to hear about the ex's uncle either.

Maybe in the future, you can start getting back in touch with all the ex's relatives that you felt close to. I'm not saying all of them, but just the ones that you are highly fond of and want to remain in touch with. This way, you won't need to rely on anyone else to give you information about them. If you're in touch with the people you care most about, you will know what's going on with their lives firsthand, true?

I wouldn't focus too much energy on how or when you got the information about your ex's uncle. The good news is that you got the news now and you can do something encouraging for him.