I don't even believe I'm doing this, writing in this thread I mean. It's not like I don't know the answer but it still hurts so bad.
My husband and I have been married for 5 years but seperated since December. I found out in September that he was cheating for the last 2 and a half years. I put him out and then asked him to come back like 2 months later and he said no. He is very content being out there and has been disgusting to me and very mean and hateful like It was ME who was caught cheating. He doesn't visit our son consistently and I am so hurt because through it all, I still loved him. To top it off, I was served tonight at home with divorce papers stating it was domestic relations whatever the heck that means. Why am I hurt? I am hurt because when I got married, I was holy ghost filled, I vowed till death do us part and I stood by my husband through SO MANY things to have him cheat on me, betray me and now to now just throw it away with a piece of paper. I still Love God and I know he doesn't make mistakes and all things come to those who love Him but I am like in my heart saying, why? When you try to do the right thing and it doesn't come to pass, what is the point? How do I ever trust a man again? I have met a few men through these months, good men, but I didn't pursue it because I was still married and I still loved my husband and I am like, I can't believe anything any of these men are saying to me. I need you saints...give me a song, a scripture, something....God knows, I need his comforting arms right now.
Hugs.
I am sure that many, many, many people feel a lot like you do. I certainly did. It took me a long, long, long time to realize that God didn't let me down. MAN let me down.
God's word says a man should love a woman like Christ loved the church.
That a woman should be one with her man, and submit to him in love.
That the hardening of our hearts that leads to divorce is sinful in the eyes of God.
Not divorce, hard heart that leads to it.
Sin always hurts the innocent as much as it hurts the guilty.
God is as unhappy over the failed marriage as the victims are, not because God is angry, but because God loves and hates the hurt we go through.
As to trusting men again. You shouldn't even think about that right now. I had to learn to trust myself again. I couldn't believe I'd failed at the most important job God gave me besides raising my children. I couldn't believe I'd chosen so poorly. I couldn't believe I had trusted so blindly. So I had to learn to trust myself. Then I had to learn to trust God again. Finally, I had to learn to trust the world, in general again. Divorce hurt comes from so many, many places, not just our spouse.
Slowly, I began to make friends, and to trust humanity again.
I don't date, so I can't say I really, 100%, that I am trusting men again, but I ~think~ I am. I have male friends who are good friends that I believe I could rely on, I just don't care about romance right now. My life is full of a lot of wonderful things, and I just don't miss romance.
Right now, though, focus on healing, and on finding out who you are, without him.
