Confused - doubts - sincerity

[wonderingaboutaname]

Several weeks ago I re-dedicated my life to Christ. I prayed and asked for His forgivenss, and that I wanted Jesus to be my Lord.

There is a side of me that says I want to know Him more, to trust Him, and there is another side of me that says no, I do not really believe He loves me because when unpleasant circumstances come my way I question and become upset. I am not just giving everything to Him and thanking Him for all things. I am torn, on the one hand I think life w/o Christ is meaningless and I want to trust Him, but I do not find this to be as simple as 123. I am like a spoiled toddler having a little tantrum when things don't go my way. My prayer is that I would trust Him and not argue and would believe. Is this just my choice? I get down on myself for not believing, I tell myself I am not sincere in wanting to know Him, yet I feel that is not really true either. I am confused. I have been praying about this and reading the Bible. I have gone to church and just joined a Bible study, but it will quite awhile I should think before I would be able to talk to someone about my thoughts. I guess should be more agressive in trying to talk to other Christians but am not sure how to go about that and am hesitant. Somehow I think part of my problem is that I am not really grasping the fact that He loves me. I believe that on one level, but I guess I don't believe truly, even though I don't think it's not true.

 

[GodSaves]

Several weeks ago I re-dedicated my life to Christ. I prayed and asked for His forgivenss, and that I wanted Jesus to be my Lord.

There is a side of me that says I want to know Him more, to trust Him, and there is another side of me that says no, I do not really believe He loves me because when unpleasant circumstances come my way I question and become upset. I am not just giving everything to Him and thanking Him for all things. I am torn, on the one hand I think life w/o Christ is meaningless and I want to trust Him, but I do not find this to be as simple as 123. I am like a spoiled toddler having a little tantrum when things don't go my way. My prayer is that I would trust Him and not argue and would believe. Is this just my choice? I get down on myself for not believing, I tell myself I am not sincere in wanting to know Him, yet I feel that is not really true either. I am confused. I have been praying about this and reading the Bible. I have gone to church and just joined a Bible study, but it will quite awhile I should think before I would be able to talk to someone about my thoughts. I guess should be more agressive in trying to talk to other Christians but am not sure how to go about that and am hesitant. Somehow I think part of my problem is that I am not really grasping the fact that He loves me. I believe that on one level, but I guess I don't believe truly, even though I don't think it's not true.

Hello wondering about a name! I tell you the truth that Jesus Christ the Son of the one and holy God loves you. He has shown His love to you by sending His own beloved Son, so that He can give us salvation. Save us from our sins. Give us eternal life, if we so choose to believe in Him.

How can God show you better then send a part of Himself to earth, to suffer persecution, be flogged, and humiliated, and ultimately crucified? All for us, so that we might not die a horrible death.(soul)

You are currently fighting with your flesh. You must try and let go of the desires of the flesh. It is hard, but with God you can do it. I suggest reading the Bible often. I find the best time is in the morning. I personal read devotions in the morning and at night I read books of the Bible and do my study. For me the devotions are a nice uplifting for the day. I also suggest praying as often as you need. Jesus says we should pray all the time. So everytime you are struggling pray to Him. Jesus said that one who asks the mountain to jump into the ocean and believes that it will happen is the how we need to be in prayer. When we pray to Him and ask of Him and we believe, truly believe it will be done. He does not say how it will be done, or when, but that it will be done.

One thing I try to remember that helps alot when things don't go "my" way is that God's plan is much better then my plan. His is perfect for only He can see the outcome of it all. If His is perfect why would I want to hold to my own plan that is fallible.

I am glad you have been going to church, reading the Bible, praying, and joining a Bible study. Stick with these and He will give you the peace that you so desire. Soon you will find this peace if you continuing trying to get to know Him better.

Let yourself believe because you know the truth. Rebuke the devil for tempting you with doubt. And take a stand saying you will not doubt. This will please Him, and He will give you what you need.

PM me anytime you wish, and we can email or talk on here whatever your choice. I will be happy to talk with you and help encourage you on your walk. I too have re-dedicated my life back to Him just a few months ago. I was brought up in a Christian household, but fell away from Him too many times. I now have a fire that I cannot describe, and I desire to tell all about Him, and encourage all who know Him. I have given myself to Him wholly and unconditionally because that is the only way to do it.

Don't let your doubts get you, deny the doubts from flourishing and trust in Him.

God Bless You!

 

[ps139]

Suffering strengthens the soul.
I think that at times its natural to doubt, since "we walk by faith, and not by sight."
"Blessed are they who believe and have not seen."
If you want you can always PM me.

 

[Takesha]

Somehow I think part of my problem is that I am not really grasping the fact that He loves me. I believe that on one level, but I guess I don't believe truly, even though I don't think it's not true.

Dear Wonderingaboutaname,

I can understand how one can not grasp how much the Lord Loves us...I was there too.
When I was a teenager I did many things I am not proud of and I know I hurt not only myself but others as well. I also grew up in foster care, so I felt like their must be something wrong with me that my own parents didn't love me.
Please know that God really does love you and if you have asked forgiveness he is faithful to forgive you and everything that you have done is passed away.

Being a Christian doesn't mean we will get everything we want, or that God won't discipline us because like a Good Father he disciplines those that he loves.
We will always be torn between being obedient to God and the desires of our flesh, but the more you are obedient the easier it is.
God has some wonderful plans for you and living your life in submission to His will is going to make your life more meaningful.

Here is what I am praying for you:

(Eph 3:14) For this cause I bow my knees unto the Father,

(Eph 3:15) from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named,

(Eph 3:16) that he would grant you, according to the riches of his glory, that ye may be strengthened with power through his Spirit in the inward man;

(Eph 3:17) that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; to the end that ye, being rooted and grounded in love,

(Eph 3:18) may be strong to apprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth,

(Eph 3:19) and to know the love of Christ which passeth knowledge, that ye may be filled unto all the fulness of God.

Many Hugs

Takesha

 

[Rafael]

Several weeks ago I re-dedicated my life to Christ. I prayed and asked for His forgivenss, and that I wanted Jesus to be my Lord.

There is a side of me that says I want to know Him more, to trust Him, and there is another side of me that says no, I do not really believe He loves me because when unpleasant circumstances come my way I question and become upset. I am not just giving everything to Him and thanking Him for all things. I am torn, on the one hand I think life w/o Christ is meaningless and I want to trust Him, but I do not find this to be as simple as 123. I am like a spoiled toddler having a little tantrum when things don't go my way. My prayer is that I would trust Him and not argue and would believe. Is this just my choice? I get down on myself for not believing, I tell myself I am not sincere in wanting to know Him, yet I feel that is not really true either. I am confused. I have been praying about this and reading the Bible. I have gone to church and just joined a Bible study, but it will quite awhile I should think before I would be able to talk to someone about my thoughts. I guess should be more agressive in trying to talk to other Christians but am not sure how to go about that and am hesitant. Somehow I think part of my problem is that I am not really grasping the fact that He loves me. I believe that on one level, but I guess I don't believe truly, even though I don't think it's not true.

Well, just being honest with yourself, true to self, is a good step in the right direction. If your not to proud to tell the truth to yourself then you can always learn and grow. Some people would rather hear lies and even lie to themselves than face up to the truth. If you continue to look into God's mirror and Living Word, honestly, you will always grow in love and in all the rest of the fruits of the Holy Spirit listed in Galatians 5. Love is very complicated and wonderful - not simple at all, and we can only learn certain aspects of love and receive them from God. When you have them, you will know. Some come only by suffering, but God nevers gives us anything we cannot handle or bear. The apostle Paul asked that he might know and partake in the love of Christ that bound Him to a cross for our sakes.
Learning how to love and give takes a lifetime to learn. Patiently allow yourself to grow in His grace. He has provided it for us at great expense. The good work God has started in your life, He will finish and bring to completion if you allow Him and give Him your time.
God bless....

I JOHN 3:16-19 This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with ACTIONS and TRUTH. This then is how we KNOW that we belong to the truth and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence whenever our hearts condemn us.

1Pe 4:13 But rejoice, inasmuch as you are partakers of Christ’s sufferings; that, when his glory shall be revealed, you may be glad also with exceeding joy.

James 1:23 For if you just listen and don't obey, it is like looking at your face in a mirror but doing nothing to improve your appearance. 24 You see yourself, walk away, and forget what you look like. 25 But if you keep looking steadily into God's perfect law - the law that sets you free - and if you do what it says and don't forget what you heard, then God will bless you for doing it.

Php 1:6 For I am certain of this very thing, that he by whom the good work was started in you will make it complete till the day of Jesus Christ:

 

[Blessed-one]

first know that no matter what you feel, God's love is given to you. He loves you.

the problem then comes down to accepting His love. I don't know whether your problem might be because deep down, you do not think that you deserve His love. That is a common obstacle in many christians, and that is as Godsaves said 'fighting with your flesh'. In the world of men, we cannot go by without recognition. You only give to the other, and care for the other, because you look for returns and because you think that person is deserving for you to spend the money and time on him.

But with God, christians know and accept that no matter what we do, however much effort we give, we cannot reach God's standards. Saved by faith through grace. Perhaps you're not accepting the concept of grace in your heart, you're finding it hard to get around this idea. I think once grace is understood and accepted, then love from God flows.

 

[sawdust]

I am like a spoiled toddler having a little tantrum when things don't go my way.

Yes you are aren't you. Welcome to the human race.

Tell me, do you tell God that you are being a "spoiled child throwing a tantrum? If so, do you know what He does about it?
1John1:9
"If we confess our sins He is faithful and just to forgive us and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."
Do you understand what that means? Not only does He forgive your "tantrum", He also forgives everything else that you haven't even thought about and best of all when God forgives He also forgets. So this is what you must do as well.
You are worrying far too much about the "wrong" you see in yourself Wondering. God's not worried about it. He's already taken care of it. It's what Jesus died for.
The only thing God is concerned with is how much blessing He can pour out on His children. And you are His child Wondering, whether you feel it, or think it or not. But in order to bless you He must transform you otherwise you won't know He's blessing you. To transform you He must send trials your way so that you can learn to think like He does.
(Read Acts 9:5 & 26:14) This is where Paul sees the risen Christ. Jesus says to him "it's hard when you kick against the goads." This is why you are struggling. God is trying to train you in His way and you keep thrashing around, throwing your tantrums. You want it to be easy Wondering? Stop kicking! It is a choice you make and one you will go on making for the rest of your life. Eventually you won't even know you are making the choice because it will come automatically. This is, if you stop kicking now and learn to be trained in the way of the Lord.
I know I don't sound very sympathetic, but in truth I understand very well. I've got the "busted toe bones" to prove it. I'm just trying to help prevent you going through the unnecessary pain. Jesus is everything you will ever need and more. Believe Him and if you find you don't? Tell Him (confess) then forget it and move on with the training.
It's actually really simple, it's our thrashing that makes it hard.

 

[Sketcher]

What's going on is normal and natural. We have to constantly choose to believe and embrace God and His Word. Those doubts you're having are from your old self. But when you became a Christian, you became a new person and that new person is your true self. Those doubts may come up in your mind, and you have a choice of which one to go with. Simply go with the Christian side and put the other side out of your mind.

 

[rainbowprism]

Christ doesn't promise a happy life, but he promises a blessed one. Suffering is normal for our time on earth....you can't have sweet without the sour

 

[allieisme]

Suffering strengthens the soul.
I think that at times its natural to doubt, since "we walk by faith, and not by sight."
"Blessed are they who believe and have not seen."
If you want you can always PM me.

I cant help but completely agree with this! *AND*
You may PM me at anytime as well!

 

[allieisme]

Christ doesn't promise a happy life, but he promises a blessed one. Suffering is normal for our time on earth....you can't have sweet without the sour

That is a good way of thinking of it too..

 

[pamincincy]

This is really strange.
I question things even after seeing this.
The film developed from my Granny's house (visited in April) had 12 apparitions in it.
Now, I believe in Christ, but am still struggling.
It seems that a lot of anger is still coming to me from others.
The thing is, sometimes it takes a while to listen to God.
Sort of like taking first steps. We want to run before walking and fall.
Just keep reading the Bible and when you start to worry, give it to God.

 

[wonderingaboutaname]

I have not been here for awhile, but I wanted to thank all of you for your very helpful replies. I am generally rather slow and thick headed, but I am starting to barely comprehend that He loves me, and that freedom comes in letting go of those things which I think I want to hold on to so tightly.