Confused about modesty. Did I sin?

[ElenaMaria_9]

Hope posting this on right place.

Basically I'm confused about the concept of modest dressing. I like long maxi dresses and skirts long flowing lots of ethnic jewellery. So far, so good. But...I don't cover my arms in hot weather as i don't tolerate overheat too well. This man said to me one evening "your arms are very beautiful! " (I think because I have olive skin that tans easily, otherwise don't know why he said that). Now am wondering "did I sin by causing him to lust after me?"

another thing is I have quite a shaky sense of self worth , which is something I'm working on so for me it's a novel thing to feel pleased with myself . But lately I been finding that as my moods are more stable and I'm beginning to heal from my breakdown, I feel pleased with myself if accomplish something ? Is this pride? For example in-store a magazine article for a mental health charity about my experiences and now I am wondering if I shouldn't because indeed a sense of satisfaction with !myself for writing it. Is this pride? I mean i don't think "I'm so great" but I feel l pleased that I survived an awful time and now i can use it to help others? I

I sometimes worry I must have too much pride to be pleasing to God . If i were truly humble i wouldn't feel a glow over my small achievements ? But if in

 

[ElenaMaria_9]

The thing is, I feel if taking pleasure in my achievements is sin then I don't want to give my sin up because I feel I need pleasure in my life and things like achievement and looking good give me a much needed serotonin boost. And a healing boost to self worth which severe trauma has crushed v badly (decades of abuse, sickness, disability, physical and mental and poverty).

i feel I have a nice way to make myself feel good now and surely God ok with that ?

 

[SarahsKnight]

Basically I'm confused about the concept of modest dressing. I like long maxi dresses and skirts long flowing lots of ethnic jewellery. So far, so good. But...I don't cover my arms in hot weather as i don't tolerate overheat too well. This man said to me one evening "your arms are very beautiful! " (I think because I have olive skin that tans easily, otherwise don't know why he said that). Now am wondering "did I sin by causing him to lust after me?"

Not at all, Elena. First off, all the man said was that your arms were aesthetically pleasing. There's absolutely no indication of lust in that. Second of all, even if he was actually lusting, that's on him. How are you to be held responsible for the lust just by having your arms exposed?

another thing is I have quite a shaky sense of self worth , which is something I'm working on so for me it's a novel thing to feel pleased with myself . But lately I been finding that as my moods are more stable and I'm beginning to heal from my breakdown, I feel pleased with myself if accomplish something ?

That is understandable, at least in my opinion. I myself was pleased with the having the peace of a more stable mood when I began to heal from a terrible depression and ocd that I suffered one time about ten years ago. So long as I remembered to give the praise to God for this and recognize that He is ultimately the one who healed me, I do not see why that would be prideful. I would say the same applies to you in your situation; simply do not forget God in the better days that you seem to be experiencing after your breakdown. Remember to thank Him for it and do not fool yourself into believing that it was all you who did the healing.

 

[trophy33]

Hope posting this on right place.

Basically I'm confused about the concept of modest dressing. I like long maxi dresses and skirts long flowing lots of ethnic jewellery. So far, so good. But...I don't cover my arms in hot weather as i don't tolerate overheat too well. This man said to me one evening "your arms are very beautiful! " (I think because I have olive skin that tans easily, otherwise don't know why he said that). Now am wondering "did I sin by causing him to lust after me?"

another thing is I have quite a shaky sense of self worth , which is something I'm working on so for me it's a novel thing to feel pleased with myself . But lately I been finding that as my moods are more stable and I'm beginning to heal from my breakdown, I feel pleased with myself if accomplish something ? Is this pride? For example in-store a magazine article for a mental health charity about my experiences and now I am wondering if I shouldn't because indeed a sense of satisfaction with !myself for writing it. Is this pride? I mean i don't think "I'm so great" but I feel l pleased that I survived an awful time and now i can use it to help others? I

I sometimes worry I must have too much pride to be pleasing to God . If i were truly humble i wouldn't feel a glow over my small achievements ? But if in

I think that if you have only your arms exposed then its generally considered modest by the vast majority of Christians.

 

[seeking.IAM]

Men are programmed to find women attractive. It is how we are wired. You are not responsible for a man's lust. He is.

 

[bèlla]

Bare arms on their own aren’t immodest. But depending on the way the top or dress is cut around the armpit it may reveal a portion of the breast. Oftentimes the hole is too wide. But it can be modified by a tailor or seamstress at the cleaners.

If you’re healing after a difficult period and beginning to feel better that’s natural. Positive feelings and statements are common. You’ve been in a low place and grappled with challenges. Now your joy is returning. Celebrate its presence.

My healing was a significant turning point. A shedding of the old and birth of the new me. I was always upbeat and positive. But renewal changed my body, mind, and life direction.

I exuded a calm and resounding joy as a constant. I was largely unbothered by challenges. I’d overcome the worse and wasn’t easily rattled. As my trajectory continued everything increased by leaps and bounds. I began to soar and saw myself. Really saw myself through God’s eyes and embraced my beauty.

That was the opus for that period. Once I understood my essence and saw it up close it could never be diminished. Nothing anyone says or does or anything I experience will diminish what He created.

I can’t be destroyed. Because God built this. It doesn’t matter who likes or dislikes the end result. It doesn’t matter if others feel I’m too this or that. All that matters is His standard and benchmark.

When you understand your power from a heavenly perspective you can’t be thwarted. The negative self-talk dissipates. You operate in truth and move to its siren. Not the world’s.

Don’t diminish what He’s building. Sing His praises. Share what He’s done and the progress you’ve made. You’re His testimony. Don’t be afraid to shine. We weren’t meant to be hidden.

 

[longwait]

Hope posting this on right place.

Basically I'm confused about the concept of modest dressing. I like long maxi dresses and skirts long flowing lots of ethnic jewellery. So far, so good. But...I don't cover my arms in hot weather as i don't tolerate overheat too well. This man said to me one evening "your arms are very beautiful! " (I think because I have olive skin that tans easily, otherwise don't know why he said that). Now am wondering "did I sin by causing him to lust after me?"

another thing is I have quite a shaky sense of self worth , which is something I'm working on so for me it's a novel thing to feel pleased with myself . But lately I been finding that as my moods are more stable and I'm beginning to heal from my breakdown, I feel pleased with myself if accomplish something ? Is this pride? For example in-store a magazine article for a mental health charity about my experiences and now I am wondering if I shouldn't because indeed a sense of satisfaction with !myself for writing it. Is this pride? I mean i don't think "I'm so great" but I feel l pleased that I survived an awful time and now i can use it to help others? I

I sometimes worry I must have too much pride to be pleasing to God . If i were truly humble i wouldn't feel a glow over my small achievements ? But if in

If you have any worries about your emotions and feelings give it to God and He will cleanse your heart. Also stay in the Word, it will help you to renew your mind and transform it the way the Lord would want it.

 

[com7fy8]

"casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you." (1 Peter 5:3)

 

[ElenaMaria_9]

Thanks everyone for your gracious and kind replies

I feel reassured by these responses

bless you all

 

[ElenaMaria_9]

Bare arms on their own aren’t immodest. But depending on the way the top or dress is cut around the armpit it may reveal a portion of the breast. Oftentimes the hole is too wide. But it can be modified by a tailor or seamstress at the cleaners.

If you’re healing after a difficult period and beginning to feel better that’s natural. Positive feelings and statements are common. You’ve been in a low place and grappled with challenges. Now your joy is returning. Celebrate its presence.

My healing was a significant turning point. A shedding of the old and birth of the new me. I was always upbeat and positive. But renewal changed my body, mind, and life direction.

I exuded a calm and resounding joy as a constant. I was largely unbothered by challenges. I’d overcome the worse and wasn’t easily rattled. As my trajectory continued everything increased by leaps and bounds. I began to soar and saw myself. Really saw myself through God’s eyes and embraced my beauty.

That was the opus for that period. Once I understood my essence and saw it up close it could never be diminished. Nothing anyone says or does or anything I experience will diminish what He created.

I can’t be destroyed. Because God built this. It doesn’t matter who likes or dislikes the end result. It doesn’t matter if others feel I’m too this or that. All that matters is His standard and benchmark.

When you understand your power from a heavenly perspective you can’t be thwarted. The negative self-talk dissipates. You operate in truth and move to its siren. Not the world’s.

Don’t diminish what He’s building. Sing His praises. Share what He’s done and the progress you’ve made. You’re His testimony. Don’t be afraid to shine. We weren’t meant to be hidden.

Thanks so much. I am reminded now of being a city on a hill , not hidden