Conflicts: Your Thoughts.

[~Beauty_from_Pain~]

1. About how often do you have conflicts with your spouse/bf/fiance?

2. To you, is there a difference between fighting and having an aurgument?

3. Who hates disagreements/conflicts more: you or your partner?

4. Who "starts" the conflict more often: you or your partner? (when I say starts I am talking about how the conflict got started in the first place...and who brings up the problem first)

5. Who seems able to handle them better: you or your partner?

 

[christiankate]

Well I think fights are a bit worse then arguments. My BF and I are currently in an "Fight" per se. It is our first fight, and isn't going very well. Honestly I don't think either of us like fighting, at least I know I don't. Now we arn't really talking, so please keep us in your prayers.

 

[Maeyken]

1. About how often do you have conflicts with your spouse/bf/fiance?
We don't have conflicts very often, and we've never had what I would call a fight. We've had issues we've disagreed on, but we don't seem to fight or argue.

2. To you, is there a difference between fighting and having an aurgument?
An argument can turn into a fight. To me, an argument is a "fair fight" whereas fighting is very unfair, using infair fighting tactics (eg. name calling, over exaggerating, etc). Arguing can be done in a civilized manner while fighting is not civilized.

3. Who hates disagreements/conflicts more: you or your partner?
I don't think either of us do.

4. Who "starts" the conflict more often: you or your partner? (when I say starts I am talking about how the conflict got started in the first place...and who brings up the problem first)
I think it depends. Both of us have brought up issues for discussion before, but I think my fiance is better at it than I am.

5. Who seems able to handle them better: you or your partner?
I think we both do alright. We both seem to be people who avoid conflict if we can, so sometimes that can lead to problems from not discussing things that *should* be discussed... but when we do talk about things, I think we both come away feeling better about it.

I think that in order to avoid fighting, both partners need to feel secure in the relationship. Both people need to know that a disagreement is not going to mean the end of the relationship. Also, both people need to be committed to the relationship- to making the relationship work- and that means compromises rather than "my way" or "your way". Sometimes it's "no one's" way that is the best for the relationship. But unless both partners are willing to compromise on that for the betterment of the relationship, I think there's gonna be tension and a feeling of unfairness.

 

[MN John]

1. About how often do you have conflicts with your spouse/bf/fiance?

2. To you, is there a difference between fighting and having an aurgument?

3. Who hates disagreements/conflicts more: you or your partner?

4. Who "starts" the conflict more often: you or your partner? (when I say starts I am talking about how the conflict got started in the first place...and who brings up the problem first)

5. Who seems able to handle them better: you or your partner?

1. Maybe once a week or so.
2. Conflict ... simple disagreement that can be worked out.
Fighting ... disagreeing in an unconstructive way.
Argument ... Can be either a fight or part of worling through a conflict, depending on how it's handled and how far emotions get dragged into it.
3. We don't either seem to mind them because they get worked through.
4. Equally. The conflict appears as we discuss things and learn where we don't agree.
5. She does.

 

[FaithfulServant]

1. About how often do you have conflicts with your spouse/bf/fiance?

2. To you, is there a difference between fighting and having an aurgument?

3. Who hates disagreements/conflicts more: you or your partner?

4. Who "starts" the conflict more often: you or your partner? (when I say starts I am talking about how the conflict got started in the first place...and who brings up the problem first)

5. Who seems able to handle them better: you or your partner?

First of all, we never fight as in raising voices to each other, calling names or anything of that sort. That is childish and an immature way of handling disagreements. My fiance and I have been together a little over 2 years and have had 'big disagreements' maybe twice. I think my fiance can handle the disagreement better than I can because I can sometimes be unreasonable and blow things out of proportion a bit I have been in a previous relationship where there was arguing constantly and now I can see the light, that it doesn't have to be that way.

 

[lozzie]

1. About how often do you have conflicts with your spouse/bf/fiance?
I don't recall having had one yet... been going out 9months... but niether of us much like arguments, we are both pacifists

2. To you, is there a difference between fighting and having an aurgument?
no.

3. Who hates disagreements/conflicts more: you or your partner?
I'm not sure... i think we both dislike conflict. I can't stand it. He can't either.

4. Who "starts" the conflict more often: you or your partner? (when I say starts I am talking about how the conflict got started in the first place...and who brings up the problem first)
n/a

5. Who seems able to handle them better: you or your partner?
I'm not sure

We are both people who would rather let the other person have their own way than have a disagreement over it... I'm generally fairly easy going and am happy to do what he wants to... unless i really dont agree, which is when i will make an alternate suggestion

 

[KristianJ]

Hmmm...how I love answering things like this after my one and only.

1. About how often do you have conflicts with your spouse/bf/fiance? I think she's right - there hasn't really been a point where I would say we've had a conflict that saw us exchange opposite views in a not so cordial manner. I can be prone to arguments if I'm provoked in the "right" manner, but suffice to say that Lauren has never even remotely come close so far

2. To you, is there a difference between fighting and having an argument? Well, I'm assuming non-physical contact (which would lawfully amount to assault and battery), but I can sort of see where a fight has a lengthier time period than a simple argument, although the level of aggression can be the same in each.

3. Who hates disagreements/conflicts more: you or your partner? I would react to conflict within the walls of the house I live in by seeking to promote peaceful resolution. I'm sure she would probably do the same.

4. Who "starts" the conflict more often: you or your partner? (when I say starts I am talking about how the conflict got started in the first place...and who brings up the problem first) N/A

5. Who seems able to handle them better: you or your partner? See above...

Slightly related matter - we went shopping together on Tuesday (mainly clothes shopping for Lauren) and I found it quite fun, even though at times it might not have appeared that way.