Conflicting Beliefs

[Beilin]

Hello all; I'm new here, and I really need help with a dating situation. You see, I've been with a wonderful guy for over a year now. He was so religious when we first started dating. I mean, we'd have these amazing conversations about God and the Bible and all sorts. However, over the last few months, he's been questioning everything, watching the History channel for the hard-core facts instead of trusting the Bible. And just recently, he announced to me that he gave up on religion, that he doesn't believe at all anymore...

This was such a shock to me. The day he told me, I took it beautifully in front of him, but I cried soo much all day long. It was so scary to think that he denounced his beliefs so calmly. He said that he felt so much happier now and that if he was wrong and there really was a Hell and he was condemned to it for eternity, then he'd accept that, because he just doesn't care anymore...how can someone do that? I mean, I'm crazy about him, but it just scares me so much! I would rather take his place and be tortured forever than to even think of him enduring that!!

We're going to be in completely different colleges soon, though, and I'm assuming that we'll agree to keep in touch but not date exclusively anymore. Even so...I really want to plant a seed. I hate to see him so lost and confused, and the fact that I only have so many months just scares me. I don't want to do the wrong thing during this time and make things worse right before he goes off to college...any tips on what I can do to be a light without coming off as too 'preachy'?

~B

 

[carmi]

I would rather take his place and be tortured forever than to even think of him enduring that!!

I understand the feeling and why you say it. Your friend's revelation must have been a shock for you. I understand that you are very emotional right now but maybe in a day or two consider what you are saying here: you'd rather choose to be away from the Lord forever than being with the Lord forever. Your friend made that choice. He chose not to be with the Lord forever. If he doesn't want that, he wouldn't appreciate your gesture or your sacrifice. Speaking of sacrifice: he doesn't appreciate Jesus' sacrifice.
Your friend is not rejecting you, he is rejecting Jesus. If you would take his place, he'd still be rejecting Jesus.

 

[absolutely_lost_86]

keep praying for him. i agree with Carmi, he is rejecting jesus. just keep being his friend and let gods light shine through u.

 

[fishstix]

The most important thing is to pray for him. Perhaps you could get him a 'going away to college' gift - a copy of the book "A Case for Faith" by Lee Strobel.

 

[PaladinValer]

Lee Strobel's proofs are extremely illogical. Besides that, it would be a negative psychological sign to your friend, so I would highly discourage any sort of evangelical action of that sort.

Perhaps instead you should provide a scholarly source that logically shows that the "all or nothing" attitude of many conservatices is simply not so. The Holy Bible needn't be totally accurate in every single possible way; it is often historically inaccurate. But history isn't its primary use. Doctrine, faith, and salvational knowledge are.

So I say "whoopiedoo" if a historical Noah didn't exist. Why? Because the lessons remain even if the story isn't literally so. The story's morals and religious value shine right through.

 

[fishstix]

Lee Strobel's proofs are extremely illogical. Besides that, it would be a negative psychological sign to your friend, so I would highly discourage any sort of evangelical action of that sort.

Perhaps instead you should provide a scholarly source that logically shows that the "all or nothing" attitude of many conservatices is simply not so. The Holy Bible needn't be totally accurate in every single possible way; it is often historically inaccurate. But history isn't its primary use. Doctrine, faith, and salvational knowledge are.

So I say "whoopiedoo" if a historical Noah didn't exist. Why? Because the lessons remain even if the story isn't literally so. The story's morals and religious value shine right through.

I found the book to be quite logical.

 

[PaladinValer]

Many of his assumptions have been proven to be incorrect by historians or scientists, although this isn't the thread to discuss this.

I will pray however that God continues to watch over your friend and that, as your friend seeks her way, it will lead her back

 

[JOE__LHF]

Im sorry to here about your situation. Ive been there in his shoes before and it isnt fun. The battle agianst sin is winning in him because he is far from the WORD/Jesus. My advice to you is to show him Christ love more then anything. We are powerless without the WORD we must stay close to it always. Jesus said men cannot live on bread alone.

Let your light shine before men, so they my see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven. Matthew 5:16 GOD BLESS YOU!

 

[techjedi]

Lee Strobel's proofs are extremely illogical. Besides that, it would be a negative psychological sign to your friend, so I would highly discourage any sort of evangelical action of that sort.

Perhaps instead you should provide a scholarly source that logically shows that the "all or nothing" attitude of many conservatices is simply not so. The Holy Bible needn't be totally accurate in every single possible way; it is often historically inaccurate. But history isn't its primary use. Doctrine, faith, and salvational knowledge are.

So I say "whoopiedoo" if a historical Noah didn't exist. Why? Because the lessons remain even if the story isn't literally so. The story's morals and religious value shine right through.

I would agree here, and instead recommend a different author, especially if he is looking at historical/scientific surroundings and it causes him to stumble.

Brian McLaren's books tend to tackle these subjects well. If you were to get him "A New Kind of Christian" if might be less intimidating since the book comes at the subjects from a more fictional narrative point of view. Or if you think he can handle it, pick up "A Generous Orthodoxy" which by the way has a money back guarantee (he could send it back to the publisher no questions asked). I highly recommend that you read them before you give him anything though... since you understand him better, you might be able to gauge his reaction.

 

[Vollkommen Warrior]

There are forces in our society that wish to make and equal argument against the Lord as for it. You choose which voice is the right one to listen to. The Bible is a guide for us, not something to be disected by egotistical self-indulged scientific minds who make Earthly Logic their God. Year and years ago scientists told us the earth was flat. The world believed it.

Think of it this way. There's nothing wrong with Science but just watchout for the doubt. The story of Adam and Eve and other stories of the Bible are in there because that's the way God wants it. I don't need a book or documentary with all the latest "philosophy" to tell me whether God's way is right or wrong. I don't need physical evidence OR "proof" or lack of to believe. You are not obligated to justify yourself or your faith to anyone else who demands it in order for God to exist. God exists and they can talk all day about the Big Bang, but they can't tell you what started the Big Bang. It's simple. Science is flawed, God is not. Don't let it scare you. It's ok to embrace Science and "man's" study of evolution and the earth. Just remember not to start to think you are "smarter' than God and you will be fine.

Jesus walked the Earth. That's just the facts. In another 500 years, they will try to tell you that never happened either. Don't get caught up in all that overthinking. I have already studies all those theories and none of it shakes my faith anymore. I love arguing with scientific types now that I have heard all the arguments. It all comes down to the fact that their God is ego and earthly logic. The have no more ability to outsmart God than an they have to teach an Ant Algebra.

 

[growingupinhim]

well. from what you have said it sems he has been honest with him self, and probaly never had real faith to begin with..so many people get involved with religon rather then come to saving knowledge (heart movement) to the personal saviour, who cahnges your life..(new creation..loving God is your way of life, now etc)..theres hope though..just keep praying!

 

[heartnsoul]

All the posts here have been excellent. Many people have fallen away from God but then to only find themselves redeemed again at a later point in life. Having a relationship with God is no different than having a relationship with others. It's a learning process. Your friend is at a point where he is rebelling because he doesn't fully understand who God really is. It takes time to get to know someone in order to LOVE someone. Same thing when it comes to God. People start out hearing about what God does and who God is, but to really experience God and know Him, it takes time.

The best thing you can do is continuing be yourself. Know that this may be a hidden blessing that both of you didn't end up married. Be an example of God without pushing your faith unto others. Pray for your friend because someday he may need you to help him out when he's going through tough times in life without God. Pray that God finds a way to open his heart.

Take this time to draw closer to God and strengthen your own walk. As you spiritually grow, God in his PERFECT timing will lead you to the right one. All things work together for the good...so be patient and trust in Him. May God comfort you and give you wisdom to be a light for your friend and to others.

 

[TheMainException]

Pray for him....and try to be an example of Christ for him....that's tough....it seems more like there is a lot of spiritual torment going on for him, I don't know....words mean less than actions...so be an example first of all by actions.