Confirmation?

[Timothew]

I posted this elsewhere, but I feel I should be asking this here.

What I really want to know is, What does confirmation mean to a Methodist? I have a friend (the son of a friend) who is going through confirmation. I'm concerned about him. It's as if he sees this as a religious duty to be performed and graduated from.

He's a good kid, he's on the honor roll, he is no trouble at all. I'm just concerned that he wants to do the right thing and sees religion as the "right thing to do", rather than a deep relationship with God through Jesus.

We don't have confirmation in my church.

 

[Historicus]

It's purpose is for those receiving confirmation to make a personal profession of faith that was made for them at their baptism as an infant/child. It is a reaffirmation of their baptismal vows.

 

[boswd]

Yeah confirmation class, at least what is was for me 20 years ago, was we studied John and Charles Wesley and the history of the Methodist Church, studied about the Christian Faith and what is meant and how the Methodist Theology works within the Christisna Faith (not the best description, I know).

At the end we went in front of the congragation and reaffirmed our Bapstismal vows, recited the Apostles Creed and did a somewhat more formal "Sinner's Prayer" as our public Profession of Faith.

Confirmation classes are a great thing since he is learning what the Methodist Faith and The Christian Faith is and not just responding to a "feel good" moment.
You should talk to him and see if he understands and 'feels" what is going on and what is taking place in his walk and make sure he is not just going through the motions.

 

[Holyroller125]

I posted this elsewhere, but I feel I should be asking this here.

What I really want to know is, What does confirmation mean to a Methodist? I have a friend (the son of a friend) who is going through confirmation. I'm concerned about him. It's as if he sees this as a religious duty to be performed and graduated from.

He's a good kid, he's on the honor roll, he is no trouble at all. I'm just concerned that he wants to do the right thing and sees religion as the "right thing to do", rather than a deep relationship with God through Jesus.

AMEN!!! This is summarized in a nutshell. This is a golden nugget worth. This is a powerful sentence that is worth the price of a book.

We don't have confirmation in my church.

Yeah confirmation class, at least what is was for me 20 years ago, was we studied John and Charles Wesley and the history of the Methodist Church, studied about the Christian Faith and what is meant and how the Methodist Theology works within the Christisna Faith (not the best description, I know).

At the end we went in front of the congragation and reaffirmed our Bapstismal vows, recited the Apostles Creed and did a somewhat more formal "Sinner's Prayer" as our public Profession of Faith.

Confirmation classes are a great thing since he is learning what the Methodist Faith and The Christian Faith is and not just responding to a "feel good" moment.
You should talk to him and see if he understands and 'feels" what is going on and what is taking place in his walk and make sure he is not just going through the motions.

AMEN!!! This is also right on.

Sincerely,
Holyroller125

 

[dies-l]

I went through confirmation as a Methodist about 20 years ago. At the time, it was something I did because it was what I was "supposed" to do. But, I am glad to have had the opportunity to learn basic theology and church history. I now attend a church that doesn't have a confirmation program, and as a youth leader I lament that the Christian education our teens get definitely suffers as a result.

As for the doing it "because I think I have to mentality", there seems to be something in us as Christians that makes sure that there is always something that our kids have to do to demonstrate their acceptance of the faith. Confirmation in the Methodist tradition is not at all unique in this regard. I think that, to some extent, discipling your children almost requires that you give them opportunities to express their acceptance of the faith, even if they may be too young to completely understand. The challenge, I think, is making sure that the gesture is genuine and informed. Confirmation (which usually follows an extended period of classes that are bit more in depth than typical sunday school) is not a bad way of helping to meet this challenge. But, like all good things, it can be misused.

 

[Qyöt27]

You know, my actual learning about Methodist theology occurred long after I went through Confirmation class (actually, it was after I got out of high school). Whether that's because I wasn't really paying attention then, or because we were being taught more general Christian principles with some mention of the Wesleys thrown in here and there, I'm really not sure. I can't remember the specifics too well, and my interest in Church history and theology only picked up several years later. I do remember the trips to other churches we took, though (although the only two that I remember are attending Mass at one of the local Catholic churches and attending an African Methodist-Episcopal church, both included tours and some basic explanations/ecumenical-type talk).

 

[Timothew]

Thank you all,

It's so hard to know what's in someone else's mind. I guess I'll ask him what he thinks of confirmation. I really don't know what to ask.

 

[Lovely Lane]

Thank you all,

It's so hard to know what's in someone else's mind. I guess I'll ask him what he thinks of confirmation. I really don't know what to ask.

(the son of a friend)
Have you spoken with the father?(your friend).
The boy's father should know what his son is doing and is supporting him.

 

[Timothew]

(the son of a friend)
Have you spoken with the father?(your friend).
The boy's father should know what his son is doing and is supporting him.

I will be, I don't want to come between them. I'm probably worrying for nothing. Like I said, he's a good kid.

Being a Christian is more than just baptism, confirmation, communion, pray before meals, burial.

 

[Maid Marie]

I will be, I don't want to come between them. I'm probably worrying for nothing. Like I said, he's a good kid.

Being a Christian is more than just baptism, confirmation, communion, pray before meals, burial.

Praying for him would be the best thing. As all teens need prayer to continue to grow in grace and faith regardless of whether they have confirmation or not.

I wonder if having confirmation would have helped me out or not. The CotN doesn't have confirmation. So anything I ever learned I learned either from sermons [which weren't always well thought out theologically], hymns, or my own reading and searching. If I had had a confirmation class to help me with stuff as well as my friends, maybe we would have felt less loss theologically.

 

[GraceSeeker]

What does confirmation mean to a Methodist?

svdbygrace gave you a very good succint answer above. From "official" UMC publications comes a much more involved answer:

INTRODUCTION

Confirmation refers to the decision a person makes to respond to God's grace with intentional commitment, publicly reaffirming his or her baptismal vows before the congregation. Most confirmands are youth between the ages of eleven and fourteen, who have been nurtured in the church since their baptism as an infant or young child. Most churches offer a deliberate time of preparation before this service. During confirmation class, confirmands learn about the meaning of Christian faith; the history and teachings and The United Methodist Church; and an explanation of the baptismal and membership vows they will be professing.
BACKGROUND

Baptism and Confirmation

In the early church, baptism, the laying on of hands, and Holy Communion were unified into a single ritual moment. Over time the three actions were separated from each other. In Christendom (from the fourth century to the modern period when the church occupied a central place in Western culture), baptism of infants was assumed. Laying on of hands as a confirming sign was left for later, partially because only the bishop could confirm and he might not be available until sometime later. Gradually, first communion happened at a different time.

In the current ritual in our hymnal and book of worship, these separated actions have been reunified in "Services of the Baptismal Covenant." Confirmation is both a strengthening sign enacted by the church and a profession of faith by the person. It is a response of faith to the gracious covenant into which God baptizes us.
-An excerpt from "What Is the Appropriate Age for Baptism and for Confirmation?" by Daniel Benedict.
Confirmation as Preparation

Sometimes United Methodists use the word confirmation as reference to the class or preparatory time before the ritual of confirmation. This time or group experience should more accurately be called "confirmation preparation." What is the person preparing for? By Water and the Spirit: A United Methodist Understanding of Baptism describes it this way:

When persons who were baptized as infants are ready to profess their Christian faith, they participate in the service, which United Methodism now calls Confirmation. This occasion is not an entrance into Church membership, for this was accomplished through baptism. It is the first public affirmation of the grace of God in one's baptism and the acknowledgment of one's acceptance of that grace by faith. This moment includes all the elements of conversion-repentance of sin, surrender and death of self, trust in the saving grace of God, new life in Christ, and becoming an instrument of God's purpose in the world. The profession of Christian faith, to be celebrated in the midst of the worshiping congregation, should include the voicing of baptismal vows as a witness to faith and the opportunity to give testimony to personal Christian experience. [more]
​

Two things should be noted here: One, confirmation is not becoming a member of the church. Baptism already celebrated that! Two, confirmation is a person's first public affirmation of the faith of the church as being his or her own faith. In other words, the confirmand is taking responsibility for living as a member of the body of Christ and for fulfilling God's purposes. By Water and the Spirit illuminates this further:

An infant who is baptized cannot make a personal profession of faith as a part of the sacrament. Therefore, as the young person is nurtured and matures so as to be able to respond to God's grace, conscious faith and intentional commitment are necessary. Such a person must come to claim the faith of the Church proclaimed in baptism as her or his own faith. Deliberate preparation for this event focuses on the young person's self-understanding and appropriation of Christian doctrines, spiritual disciplines, and life of discipleship. It is a special time for experiencing divine grace and for consciously embracing one's Christian vocation [more]
​

So, confirmation preparation aims at leading youth and others to embrace their vocation-the calling of God to live and witness to the reign of God announced in Jesus Christ.
-An excerpt from "What Is the Appropriate Age for Baptism and for Confirmation?" by Daniel Benedict.

I have a friend (the son of a friend) who is going through confirmation. I'm concerned about him. It's as if he sees this as a religious duty to be performed and graduated from.

He's a good kid, he's on the honor roll, he is no trouble at all. I'm just concerned that he wants to do the right thing and sees religion as the "right thing to do", rather than a deep relationship with God through Jesus.

Indeed, for all that confirmation is (in theory) supposed to be, it can in practice become seen as just one more hoop for an adolscent to jump through on the way to adulthood. Sadly, I have seen more than one parent have their child baptized (making all of the promises to raise their child in the faith, etc.) only to then disappear from the church for about 12 years with perhaps the occassional appearance to put their kid in the church's Christmas Sunday school program or attend a VBS here and there. Then the traditional time of confirmation rolls around and they have this conversation at home:

Parent: "I signed you up for confirmation."
Kid: "Confirmation? What's that?"
Parent: "Something you have to go through to join the church."
Kid: "What church? I didn't know we belonged to a church?"
Parent: "Well, we do. I had you baptized when you were a baby, just like my folks did me. And now you're going to go to confirmation just like I did when I was your age."
Kid: "Why?"
Parent: "So that you can learn about what it means to be a Christian and join the church."
Kid: "But aren't we Christians already. And, beside, I don't want to join any stinking old the church."
Parent: "Well, right now I'm the adult in this house and I say you're going to go to confirmation. After you've gone through it, then you'll be an adult in the eyes of the church and you can make your own decision."
Kid: "Ok. But only because you're making me."
​

And it goes down just like you might guess. The kid goes to confirmation. Is a good and cooperative student. Does all of the things asked of him/her, and the day after being confirmed, exercises the only power s/he has in the situation and drops out of the church entirely.

Of course, all of that is contrary to the actual purpose and intent of confirmation, which is to give the child baptized in the faith to re-affirm (i.e. confirm) that this is not just his/her parent's faith that s/he was baptized into, but that the child also want to make it publically known that s/he personally claims it as his/her own faith as well. And for some kids, those who before confirmation are making serious inquiries with regard to faith it often ends up being just exactly that. For others, it is a time to ask questions that they will probably respond to more personally later at some youth retreat or camp experience. But for far too many the scenario I described above is one I see played out. The difference you will note is not in the way confirmation is actually offered, but how it is perceived and the reasosns for the person entering it.

It's so hard to know what's in someone else's mind. I guess I'll ask him what he thinks of confirmation. I really don't know what to ask.

Ask him what he hopes to get out of it. Ask him why he thinks confirmation might be a beneficial experience for him. Ask him if he want to make it publically known that he is a Christian, a follower of Jesus. If the answer to the last question is, "Yes" or "I don't know", then he is a good candidate for confirmation. If he is just jumping through expected hoops, then it's likely a waste of time.

As a pastor, I tried to make it clear to any youth who attended my confirmation class, that just because they attended the class did not mean that they had to be confirmed. Confirmation really is about expressing your own faith, not just saying YES to someone else's. So, if after going through the class they did NOT want to say the things that one says when being confirmed, if they did NOT want to confirm their faith, if they did NOT want to acknowledge Christ as their Lord and Savior and live in ways that reflect that as a true part of their daily (not just Sunday) life, then it would be a very good thing to go through confirmation if only to learn that Christianity (or the UMC form of it) was NOT for them and to just walk away. Nothing wrong with that. As it so happened, my own kids never were confirmed. My daughter has a strong faith, but is a Baptist. My son is the good kid you describe above, but didn't want to "belong" to a church that had the type of people that he saw in the church where he went through confirmation.

Others in their class were confirmed. And both of my kids continued to remain involved in that church until we moved, but they never were confirmed. As a pastor (and as a father too) I would much rather have that choice made than the scenario I describe above.

I will be, I don't want to come between them. I'm probably worrying for nothing. Like I said, he's a good kid.

Being a Christian is more than just baptism, confirmation, communion, pray before meals, burial.

You are so right. And one of the purposes of confirmation is to help youth understand what that more is. A good confirmation class should help to make faith questions come alive. It becomes a place to ask:

"Who am I?"
"Why am I here?"
"Does God exist?"
"Could God possibily have a purpose for my life?"
"How do I find out what God's will is and how do I go about doing it?"
"What would it mean if it wasn't just words, but I really allowed Jesus to be Lord of my life?"
"Do I want to do that?"
​

 

[Timothew]

Wow GraceSeeker,

Thank you for that response. I wish my friend was in your confirmation class. I know that God is working in his life, and I keep praying for him.

 

[Kryzoz]

To be honest, I have never heard of confirmation in the sense that it is presented here. We have at my church re-committing as in a re-committing to a stronger relationship with Christ, but I have never heard of confirmation

 

[Timothew]

Around here it's all too familiar, I'm not opposed to confirmation, just the type descibed by:

Parent: "I signed you up for confirmation."
Kid: "Confirmation? What's that?"
Parent: "Something you have to go through to join the church."
Kid: "What church? I didn't know we belonged to a church?"
Parent: "Well, we do. I had you baptized when you were a baby, just like my folks did me. And now you're going to go to confirmation just like I did when I was your age."
Kid: "Why?"
Parent: "So that you can learn about what it means to be a Christian and join the church."
Kid: "But aren't we Christians already. And, beside, I don't want to join any stinking old the church."
Parent: "Well, right now I'm the adult in this house and I say you're going to go to confirmation. After you've gone through it, then you'll be an adult in the eyes of the church and you can make your own decision."
Kid: "Ok. But only because you're making me."
​

 

[LoneSheep]

When I was told I was supposed to confirmation class after school, I wasn't very happy about it. I did get a free ride after school and met the pastor's beautiful grand-daughter, but I never heard of it before that. It was just sprung on me.

At the time, I appreciated the new information and enjoyed the visit to a historic church in Philadelphia, but I was way to immature to really appreciate what was going on. I really thought: "Ugh, more homework". I learned the finer points of prayer and about the Wesley brothers and I guess that has stuck with me.

At the end when I was before the congregation all alone, and the pastor poured the oil on my head (I think it was oil) I really felt like a full member of the church. Also shaking hands with 100+ people after the ceremony made me realize how big my church really was

If I had a child going through the class I would ask them what they learned and I would try to explain why it is significant. That was never done with me and I wish someone did.

 

[Cain Spencer]

I posted this elsewhere, but I feel I should be asking this here.

What I really want to know is, What does confirmation mean to a Methodist? I have a friend (the son of a friend) who is going through confirmation. I'm concerned about him. It's as if he sees this as a religious duty to be performed and graduated from.

He's a good kid, he's on the honor roll, he is no trouble at all. I'm just concerned that he wants to do the right thing and sees religion as the "right thing to do", rather than a deep relationship with God through Jesus.

We don't have confirmation in my church.

I use to be a methodist (highly reformed) and I'm sure that we never had comfirmation.